Eat Yellow Snow chapter 4 . 5/25/2010
All right! Another great chapter! But you need to check a few things. One, you're format is a little off. Another thing is that the story is still going too fast. Try to write longer chapters with more detail. Another thing, you should have Naruto and the others wonder about where the Z-Fighters got there powers from, how Goku, Gohan, Trunks, and Vegeta can "Change the color of their hair", and stuff like that. There are a few other things, but they're small, and don't really effect your writing very much. Thanks for the great story, I'm adding it onto my favorites, and I hope to see your writing improve along the way! You have MUCH potential!
Eat Yellow Snow chapter 3 . 5/25/2010
lol. Interesting(in the good way) chapter. I personally think that Sakura will be grossed out, but Naruto will try to match them. You've hardly had any mention of Gohan(which is my second favorite character *Tied with Vegeta*). Again, I think Naruto and Gohan should develop a brotherly bond! Tell me what you think about my idea.
Eat Yellow Snow chapter 2 . 5/25/2010
Another great chapter, but I would lessen the speed of the story, spend more time on the chapters, and would make Naruto and Gohan more of friends. They're more in the age range. Although Naruto and Goku could be great friends, I think Gohan and Naruto would get along better, but just because of the age. Keep up the good work!
Eat Yellow Snow chapter 1 . 5/25/2010
Great story, but it needs to be a little bit more well written. It seems like this is your first story, so it's VERY good. Keep up the good work, and always strive to improve your work. That is the makings of a good author.
Don 77 chapter 4 . 5/24/2010
not bad keep it up.
thedarkpokemaster chapter 4 . 5/20/2010
Nice work I hope we'll see NaruSaku bits.
thedarkpokemaster chapter 3 . 5/18/2010
wow this was good keep it up.
TobiGB chapter 3 . 5/17/2010
Ok this is a pretty good story. I do have one question: Will Gohan go Super Sayian2?
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