Reviews for What If?
Azrael38 chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
I've already reviewed this once but I felt like I needed to do so again after a second read through:

Admirable effort and I appreciate your determination and enthusiasm. However, I have to say that the grammar and spelling in this fic is beyond horrendous. Most of these are simple mistakes that a beta or even using a spell checker could have fixed for you. These glaring errors turn an enjoyable story into a exercise in grinding my teeth.
pjlizzy94 chapter 15 . 4/7/2014
just wondering if you got the "summoning scrolls" and "Illusionment charms" idea from an anime that i love. it's called Naruto, and those just highly reminded me it
SF123 chapter 20 . 3/2/2014
Great story!

Guest who reviewed fight before me, I suggest you continue the story, for you only receive only snippets of the future. I must admit I almost stopped this story after Lily's dream journal, but once you continue, it doesn't much. The story still has plenty of twists and suspense, regardless of the assumed outcome of Harry and Hermione having a child.

One question I have though. I assume the story doesn't deviate until Goblet of Fire, where this story picks up. If Salazar approved of Muggle-born wizards, why did he plant a basilisk in the school, that could only be released through Parseltongue?
Guest chapter 8 . 2/24/2014
I stopped reading this here, with Lilly's dreams any sense of story has been lost
dhasenan chapter 18 . 2/17/2014
The whole "see your fetus as a child" thing was kind of sickening. At its age, it would have been barely a blastocyst. You don't get a speaking child out of that; you get something about as sapient and sentient as a dead moth. Even if you get around that magically, you get something that hasn't been reared or raised in any way, unless you want to invoke time dilation with Lily and James Potter raising an ethereal spirit infant (which somehow grows as if it were embodied).

Hermione was really lobotomized. She was turned from the brightest witch of her generation to a generic woman wanting nothing more than to pop out babies until the end of time. Anyone else could have taken her place and it would have turned out similarly. Pro tip for writing women: they're humans, with their own motivations that might possibly, just possibly, deviate from the stereotype of producing a family and nothing else.

Harry taking over the Order of the Phoenix is not very believable. He's a kid. It would take something major for the Order not to at least look to Mad-Eye Moody after everything he said to confirm.

Lady Hogwarts is never done well. It will never be done well.

The grammar issues make it worse, but there's already enough here to condemn the work.
Crazed Alaskan King chapter 11 . 2/5/2014
You know I think I have the perfect boyfriend for ginny. THE GIANT SQUID. Perfect don't you agree
TxA-GunFighter chapter 20 . 12/26/2013
Good story.

TxA-GunFighter chapter 19 . 12/26/2013
Outstanding chapter.

TxA-GunFighter chapter 18 . 12/26/2013
Very good chapter.

TxA-GunFighter chapter 17 . 12/26/2013
Good one, make them pay.

TxA-GunFighter chapter 16 . 12/26/2013
Good one, looks like it will get interesting soon.

TxA-GunFighter chapter 11 . 12/24/2013
Another outstanding chapter.

TxA-GunFighter chapter 10 . 12/24/2013

TxA-GunFighter chapter 9 . 12/24/2013
This is a great story.

TxA-GunFighter chapter 8 . 12/24/2013
Really good stuff.

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