Reviews for What If?
RyanBass chapter 17 . 6/10/2012
HAHAHAHA I loved the bit about Filch there, you have made him into a legend for me and I will never be able to look at him the same way again! :D
Angel'sLove447 chapter 20 . 6/9/2012
Dear TheCrackedOutFirebird,

I am a huge fan of Harmony stories and so I was very happy to give this one a try and see how it was. I have to admit, I read the story once years ago, but was not a member of the site until just about a year ago. After finding this story again in my bookmarks on an older computer I owned, I decided to give the story another reading.

The story is fantastic, using Harry and Hermione to balance each other out. They are not out of character in the slightest, and they are not perfect in any sense either. Their friends are also done very well too, being completely plausible and at the same time enjoyable to read about.

The drama and action were very well balanced, and I kept on wanting to read more and I was totally engaged in this story. I had to read it in two sittings because I needed to sleep, but if had not been for that basic need, I would have finished it in one sitting.

I really liked how you gave Dumbledore a conscious and the sensibility to recognize that Harry and Hermione were the Warriors of Light. This makes him a much more sympathetic character than most other shippers make him out to be. The drama from Ron and Ginny was also handled spectacularly. Ginny can really be obsessive sometimes, and you handled that side of her personality well.

I would like to say that I really enjoyed the last conversation Harry had with the Dursleys. I was thinking to myself, "That was pure genius!" I also liked how Filch made an appearance too, as it shows you even brought it some of the minor characters and gave them a well-thought out personality as well. Turning the Sorting Hat and even Hogwarts into characters put me in awe, and I thought that even their personalities were well-designed.

I could heap praise on your story for hours to be perfectly honest, but I wanted to take the time to let you know that your story was beautiful and a joy to read. The ending was wonderful (especially the wedding scene and tying up Lily's visions) and I look forward to reading more of your works! Splendid work! You are a very gifted author!


Andrew )

BellaTallin chapter 9 . 4/16/2012
Ok, I'm done. I tried, I really tried to get through this story cause I liked the plot idea you have. However, I just can not force myself to continue reading. You're characters are lacking emotional depth and the writing is juvenile and would make me think you were the same age as Harry in the story. At first it was sweet and the romance was tender, but that's it. There's been no real development with the characters since the beginning. They are supposed to be growing up but nothing is really changing. (And that lemon... good grief, what girl, especially Hermione, would scream 'oh god please cum in me', her first time around? Seriously?)

I'm disappointed cause I think you have a good idea here but the story is lacking. It feels more like a very rough draft that has yet to be filled in with all the things people who aren't one-dimensional think and feel. The responses and reactions to events are too superficial and unrealistic with no real backbone reasoning behind it. You have the potential for a good story here but I would say you need to re-work it and re-write it before it gets there. Sorry if I seem harsh, but that's my review.
Svenion chapter 6 . 3/28/2012
thank you, thank you, thank you for not having dumbledore go over the line into madness. you had me worried for a while there tho...
Dagger-Seishin chapter 20 . 3/20/2012
OMG I LOVE THIS STORY! LOL Totally awesome story!
Jimbocous chapter 20 . 3/14/2012
Interesting story, and overall pretty well-done. Would help to get a beta to clean up some of the rough spots, and I would really have liked to see some parts of the story more fully developed, but outside of that a nice read. Thanks!
bobcox26 chapter 11 . 3/12/2012
Great story. I must a mint that the way you handle Dumbledore is orginal and I like it, also that all in not forgiven by Harry in that second much more real and believble, I also agree with the an note
thesecret21 chapter 20 . 3/7/2012
I absolutely loved this story and while I do like the Harry Potter series I do wish it was a little like this, with him stronger, had more of an voice and the most important HERMIONE. So great job :-) awesome story.
LoveBassClarinet chapter 20 . 1/12/2012
I loved your creativity towards the end and I'm glad Lily got to witness the big things in her son's life. :) I can't wait to see if you'll write a sequel!
Scabbers1957 chapter 20 . 12/24/2011
This was a bloody awesome story, very well done.

I'll add this to my story favs.

luvsallthingsslash chapter 12 . 12/21/2011
Old man is 2 words and since you like Twilight I refuse to read any more of your work.
Dovahkin chapter 7 . 12/4/2011
Pretty good and the lemon was believable for 2 virgins
Dovahkin chapter 7 . 12/4/2011
Pretty good and the lemon was believable for 2 virgins
Lerris chapter 5 . 11/26/2011
Dementors almost killed Mrs. Granger, yet they didn't move them to safety? Overall this story is fairly good, but this chapter felt more rushed than the previous ones.
beulah2013 chapter 20 . 11/23/2011
WOW! you did an amazing job! just terrific! you are an amazing writer and that i can't wait for more from you!
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