|Reviews for What If?|
| Ashwini chapter 17 . 2/16
Ravenclaw's diadem has been hidden under everyone's noses for centuries? Then you're changing canon and Helena Ravenclaw didn't steal the diadem and leave Great Britain with it?
"The line must be drawn here. This far and no further." Harry has been watching "First Contact"?
As impossible as it is, I have to admit I found Filch being a former sniper in the SAS amusing.
| Ashwini chapter 15 . 2/16
Where is Molly's follow-up after being publicly told off and stunned by Harry? There's no way she would let that go without having a scream-fest.
Also, does the wizarding world read Shakespeare? As a member of a pureblood family, would Sirius know the quote from "Julius Ceasar"?
| Ashwini chapter 14 . 2/16
Oh please...Snape was a marauder? And still treated Harry with such hatred and loathing? That twist did nothing for the story and just dropped the reader's ability to suspend their disbelief. This was then followed by no explanation of how the DE's left Hogwarts, so as far as we know, all the students were killed. It got worse when all of the Dursleys treated Harry decently when they left.
You then try to follow canon by having the bizarre break-out from Privet Drive, but Harry had no reason to be there. He spent the last two years at the Grangers. There was also absolutely no reason to portkey to the Weasleys. They aren't friends with Ron and Ginny, and after Molly's surreptitious attempt to betroth Harry and Ginny without Arthur's knowledge, neither Harry nor Hermione would WANT to go there.
And then you have Krum go after Hermione? Why? They weren't friends in your story. They didn't go to the ball together. They don't know each other. Why would he go after a total stranger and try to convince her that he's better than the person she's with?
I swear, another person wrote this chapter; one who never read the previous chapters in this story!
| Ashwini chapter 12 . 2/16
A month and a half has gone by and Ginny hasn't been charged with criminal charges? She stole from a professor and was responsible for another student's death, even if it was unintended. She should at least be charged with the British equivalent of negligent homicide.
Tom taking over Harry during his death is a new twist. However, one would think that Tom would be a bit more intelligent and not be so obviously a different personality.
Also, Draco was going to cast an unforgiveable in the school? One would think Hogwarts wards wouldn't permit unforgiveables.
I don't understand why Hermione's patronus was back to being an otter. It was clearly a doe just a few chapters ago.
Ron's apology was not credible. There was nothing that indicated he was having a change of heart. His apology came out of the blue, so how can it possibly be believed?
I also don't believe Harry would ever agree to follow orders without question. He would evaluate each situation and make a determination at that point. Where has this level of trust been built with Dumbledore? It was only a few short months ago that he admitted to trying to manipulate Harry's entire life and break him up with Hermione. I can see Dumbledore asking for absolute obedience, but not Harry giving it.
| Ashwini chapter 7 . 2/16
Why would a teacher prevent students from eating their breakfast by sending them to the Headmaster first, when it's not a disciplinary action? They should see him AFTER breakfast.
And then Dumbledore's speech...the man has spent YEARS teaching and in politics. He knows how to be a great orator and give inspiring talk. But instead of saying that he realizes Harry and Hermione have shown the maturity to have secrets revealed, he talks about being too tired to continue to manipulate them. What the heck?!
| Ashwini chapter 6 . 2/16
I'm glad to see that Harry was made prefect.
I don't understand how there could be a contract with the Weasleys for 15 years and Arthur never knew about it. Wouldn't there be a copy in his vault? Did he not visit a vault for 15 years? Wouldn't he realize that his family was getting such a huge amount of gold? How else did they pay for tuition of five children at once based on a single income?
I find it impossible to believe that Dumbledore would change all his plans after a conversation with his brother. He's too convinced of his own perceptions and beliefs. Other than the "engaged" line he saw between Harry and Hermione (and at what was he looking?), he had no reason to decide that Hermione was the second warrior rather than him.
| Daniel6 chapter 19 . 1/19
Pissing on Greyback. That is such a Mooney and Padfoot thing to do. :-D
| Daniel6 chapter 17 . 1/19
You had Harry quoting Picard from First Contact. You really are a Trekkie. Aren't you?
| Daniel6 chapter 14 . 1/19
Dumbledore is a Trekkie? "Live long...and prosper." And Harry was quoting Jurassic Park and Independence Day? "Must go faster! Must go faster!" Are you a fan of said films?
| Daniel6 chapter 1 . 1/18
Two things. Draco and Harry are related. They are fourth cousins. James and Sirius are first cousins. The Black sisters(Andromeda, Bellatrix & Narcissa) are their second cousins. Making them Harry's third cousins. And, therefore, making Draco and Nymphadora Harry's fourth cousins.
And two. Lions don't purr. They roar. They are part of the Panteros family. Only members of the feline family purr. Like the American Mountain Lion.
This is not meant to be a lecture. Just thought you might want to know.
| missgsmith51 chapter 20 . 1/2
I must say, I feel sorry for any Granger-Potter kids. Between Hermione's untameable bush and Harry's crazy black tumbleweed, those poor babies don't have a prayer of ever being able to wield a comb successfully. I hope the Potters hold plenty of stock in Sleekeazy's Hair Potion. ;)
Thanks for a fun read.
| missgsmith51 chapter 18 . 1/2
Oh, dear! Your archaic verb forms some serious work! When you use "thee, thou, thy, or thine," you also need to adjust your verbs.
"Thou lacks common sense and would tickle a sleeping dragon." I think the verbs should be "lackest" and "wouldst." There are a few more, but I'm sure thou hast the idea! (Just kidding. I couldn't resist.)
I'm glad Harry didn't just let Albus off the hook for so many years of stubbornness and manipulation. I thought he might just go the old "ends justify the means," "let bygones be bygones" route. I'm glad you didn't do that.
| missgsmith51 chapter 17 . 1/2
"He just wondered how long it would be until Hogwarts was breeched by the Death Eater. That was things would get really HAIRY." Pun intended, right?
Poor Hermione. That Horcrux using her unborn child against her was really low. (That's not a criticism, it's a compliment, because it's just exactly the kind of thing Voldy would do.)
I think you made Crabbe and Goyle even stupider than their book counterparts, if that's possible. Filch, however ... A sniper in Her Majesty's Service? Are we going to find out even more surprises about our grouchy caretaker? I can't wait to see what he gets up to in the battle.
| missgsmith51 chapter 15 . 1/1
It was good that Harry let them all see the Horcrux and how evil it is, how it uses a person's fears to lie to and control him or her. I don't think some would have believed how much power it could exert over someone had they not seen it in action.
I like Harry's method of dealing with Molly. He is right, though ... Her mind is clouded, and she could endanger them.
| missgsmith51 chapter 12 . 1/1
Well, that was kind of scary. I thought Harry was finally "done for," so to speak. I thought Dumbledore was going to take him out. I'm glad he had knowledgeable help this time to get rid of Riddle for good. I think he and Hermione need to be spending way more time in the RoR, giving Tom headaches! ;) (Hey, it's worked before!)
Nice to see Ron seems finally to have recovered from his ongoing bout of cranial-anal inversion. Perhaps Draco will, as well. I hope so.