|Reviews for What If?|
| Paddybee chapter 16 . 5/15
NOT KIDDY GLOVES! KID GLOVES! ie gloves made of kid leather to enable delicate work with gloved hands, but unsuitable for fisticuffs. Hence- the kid gloves come off when you prepare to fight...
| venom90 chapter 5 . 4/29
once i red the part where is said '' one cannot survive without the other'' i knew who it was talking about.
| stevefocus chapter 20 . 3/25
Really enjoyed this story.
| Simianpower chapter 3 . 3/5
So, without a wand in his hand, Harry can just say "Protego" and it works? I'd say that's a pretty major development that gets ignored entirely! Also, within about four sentences Ron is livid, smirking, and has glazed over eyes. Pick one. He has the emotional range of a teaspoon AND has been Imperiused. Those contradictory descriptions make no sense.
Also, the Imperius curse is NOT possession. It's NOT mind control. It's basically advanced hypnotism. Orders you can't refuse, essentially. They aren't adaptable, and you can't speak with the controller through their victim like that. So if Ron's orders were "fight with Potter until the Mudblood shows up, then kill her with the killing curse" that would be it. Ron wouldn't then also fight Dumbledore. This version of the Imperius is very AU. I suspect it's just a mistake or misunderstanding, but it has no foundation in canon.
"Break her heart and I'll break your legs." Uhh... he has quite literally already died for her once, not to mention risking his life for her several times. Daddy Granger is so far out of line he's in danger of becoming a pretzel.
And... "swearing bullets"? Swearing. Bullets. Please run a spelling and grammar check on this whole story. Then actually read it yourself. Correct things as you go. These sorts of problems are everywhere. It's not a bad story so far, but the density of writing errors is way too high for it to be actually enjoyable. I can't keep going. There are enough other stories on this site that I don't feel the need to force myself through one this badly written. 3/10
| Simianpower chapter 2 . 3/5
"decent writting skills"? Really? I guess that says it all.
| Guest chapter 9 . 2/28
I feel kinda bad bc a large part of me is thinking that having a pregnant fiancé at 15 was not a good thing, and that a subsequent miscarriage almost amply convenient. Her parents should also be upset she was pregnant at all, although maybe just to Harry at least. And also pregnant women shouldn't fight so I kinda blame her too? Should've had her not know so she could get more sympathy...maybe I'm just kinda mean,but having known about the pregnancy she basically took a baby to a fight on a carrier on her back, and after it died was like sorry Harry, that was stupid of me. Ok that was totally mean:) but still
| Guest chapter 3 . 2/21
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| Guest chapter 8 . 2/18
Idiots! They aren't even 16 for heavens sake!
| cameddie chapter 1 . 2/13
I'm sorry but the glaring grammar mistakes put me out of it. A pity because I liked the premise
| P0tt3rH34d chapter 20 . 1/23
Loved the story! Progressed through the years fast, but never left any plot holes. Brilliant work!
| Daithi4377 chapter 1 . 12/22/2015
Why Harry ever forgave the prat for turning on him numerous times I will never know? But I don't think Ron himself realizes just how much he gave away in that spat in the common room, Harry did but I wonder if anyone else did though I think the twins have a sneaking suspicion?
| daithi4377 chapter 20 . 12/22/2015
The dye robes eh...Dumbledore would have loved it. With all her intelligence I'm surprised Hermione was only a Librarian. Why is Minerva the Headmistrwss when Hogwarts proclaimed Harry as the Headmaster as he was the last heir?
| daithi4377 chapter 19 . 12/22/2015
So his mum came to see him get married?
| daithi4377 chapter 18 . 12/22/2015
Just how many times will Harry die lol?
| daithi4377 chapter 17 . 12/22/2015
Why did they have to lose Severus? Granted Cedric and Sirius did survive but Hedwig dies so that works to cover them? Why did Bill not know about the Horcruxes?