|Reviews for Forging and Temperance|
| Mizuno Tenshi2 chapter 1 . 4/29/2010
| decision pending chapter 1 . 4/27/2010
This story is utterly enthralling, your minamalistic style of writing somehow speaks so much more than paragraph upon paragraph of drabble.
The story brings out so many emotions in the reader, and I like how you even stayed true to love of jupiter/ranmer/ and puto even at the possible expense of the readers discomfort, it led to a beautiful twisted tale of love.
Job so very well done
| the kwp chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
I have always liked this story, and I am glad to see it here. It prompted me to re-read it, and enjoy it again. I found the experimental nature of the story interesting. What struck me most on this reread was how little of the story was from Ranma's point of view compared to my memories.
I've always wondered what happened next. Please do not take it wrong, though as I think the story is complete as written. But I've wrestled with the emotional fall out from the events here, and wondered how they would exactly fall.
Thanks again for this story.
| ShineX chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
Ok, incest and forced love. Quite the story you have here, and you know the sad part, I could see this happening somewhat. Nicely done
| billy13579 chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
I must admit, the love you imply between Jupiter and her Guardian did make me cringe (lets be honest, if you're a guy and have a sis, and that revelation didn't make you turn green, you're weird).
Deep love between siblings is actually normal and could even sometimes come off as romantic, but it's still platonic. I had assumed such for Jupiter and her Guardian. However, Jupiter's dialogue, in that next to last scene, implied something more physical... which is where I turned green.
Anywho, the story is quite an interesting one and its delivery is quite creative. Very captivating, despite being a oneshot it gives a complete story where you find out what you need too for it to be complete, while being concise. It's not a style to be done at whim nor often so as not to spoil it, further it is very difficult to do well.
Given that, you have done it well. Well done!
| Capt. Obvious chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
Your experiment failed because it tried something different; your minimalism failed because it wasn't richly detailed and painstakingly explored.
AM I DOIN' IT RITE?
But seriously, even though some brain-dead reviewers don't get it, I give you points for being willing to try it. The story is really simple (almost painfully simple, to be honest (is that an intentional irony? Ranma and Makoto matchup stereotype, Setsuna falling in love with Ranma stereotype, Ranma is tied to the scouts' past, etc. etc. etc.)), and is only saved by the delivery. The brushstrokes of text that imply rather than block in.
I don't think I'd like to live in a world where this was the standard of storytelling, but I think the style worked here. Gotta say, it's much stronger in this one than your Higurashi/Haruhi/Bokura No fusion. Still, strong delivery, good treatment of tired concepts, and other than the probably needless preface thing, I really liked it. Nice work.
| claymade chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
Beautiful, beautiful, and gut-wrenchingly emotional. The ending seems, in retrospect, so utterly inevitable, with events spiraling down toward it... and yet so heartbreaking all the same.
The unique style and tone also help set this apart from the pack, telling the key elements in what is, essentially, a very simple story despite its scope, and being able to do it in the framework of a one-shot.
Ended at the perfect place, too, right where the task of the story ends and leaving the unanswerable question of what comes next up in the air. A true masterpiece of fanfiction, and one of the most memorable Ranma/SM crossovers I've ever read.
| aboulhosncc chapter 1 . 4/18/2010
So I get this was an experiment and all but in my mind this is a failure.
You say the journey is what is the most important to you but it felt to me like you were skipping huge parts of dialogue / scenes to get to certain points in the story.
This left out a huge amount of details that I feel are needed to make a story work and right now the only thing recognizable about any of these characters are their names. Everything else is so foreign to what makes them unique and so lovable that this was a pain to read.
Anyways good luck with the rest of your story
| Lord Jeram chapter 1 . 4/17/2010
There's a fine line between genius and complete misapprehension.
But this was damn good.
| Millhouse chapter 1 . 4/17/2010
How could something that began so much like Romeo and Juliet end in tragedy!
| Cyde chapter 1 . 4/17/2010
It was certainly... dramatic.
| Iop chapter 1 . 4/16/2010
Just one nit, there's really no explanation given for pluto to actually watch the flashback at the end, after not watching it for however many years that have passed.
| Hiryo chapter 1 . 4/16/2010
Sad that Ranma goes then by Wataru and wouldn't even keep Ranma T.T
However, a grand story, which I like and love!
| neb1234 chapter 1 . 4/16/2010
I didn't really like the fact that Ranma was completely manipulated like he was but, the story and the ending in particular were so very welly done it made up for it.
| King Tarol chapter 1 . 4/16/2010
You have talent. That much is very clear.
The story was a little jumpy at times, like I couldn't tell exactly who was speaking when, although I do not include the times where you did that on purpose for the sake of the plot.
I honestly don't know if "weird" is the correct description for your story. It's intriguing, it's well-layered, it's mostly flowing (except for the few jumpy bits I mentioned), and it's downright heartbreaking at times, but that gives this story a rare beauty. Even compared with other Ranma/Sailor Moon crossovers with a similar theme, yours has the feel of a sad song that one wouldn't want to stop listening to, while a good portion of the others simply lump the emotion. You weave it, if the imagery makes any sense. And by the fact that you have 26 stories here, I get the feeling that you've been weaving emotions for a while.
You did something with the plot that I commend heartily: while most write that Pluto "can't" see through time for any given reason in Ranma/Sailor Moon fanfics, you rather wrote that she CHOSE NOT TO. In that choice, you humanized Sailor Pluto in a very big way, while still managing to show her mysterious and powerful side through all her other actions. This is a rare and delicate balance.
And further, through that, you brought out the true tragedy towards which you caused this story to inevitably spiral. That is a deep plot, without only being convoluted. A very large part of me likes happy endings for all, and so I thus would've liked to see more chapters dealing with this situation. However, I know better; your story had to end this way.
An extremely elegant work, and I'm truly appreciative to see that you've given it to us all.