|Reviews for Star Fox: Krystal's Honeymoon|
| ANANYMOUS chapter 3 . 3/12
this is um how should i say STUPID!
| Michel Mephit chapter 6 . 2/25
What I like about this story is how Krystal's telepathy intensifies their love for each other. They both seem to enjoy the mind link: "It's a shame I can only hold this for so long. I very much like being tied to you."
I guess Krystal has a goal now. I wonder what it would take for them to form a permanent mental bond?
| Silver Sentinel chapter 6 . 2/24
Wow, this was good, long, but still very good. Nice work, I loved it.
| Guest chapter 6 . 2/24
Umm I get that its there honeymoon phase but you should seriously cut back on the lemons just so that there is more story development, just a suggestion
| Guest chapter 6 . 2/19
As always another excellent chapter, Sani. But now that this is finished, maybe you will take into consideration the x-over I mentioned to you at an earlier date. Or not it's up to you. MTM.
| TrodianD98 chapter 6 . 2/18
was interesting and intense heh glad though to see the ending heh intense though man INTENSE...
| ghost509 chapter 6 . 2/17
Loved it. Love the story. You, are the best afternoon and Krystal author ever to live.
| Sheppard - Aggron24 chapter 6 . 2/17
I literally fell backwards out of my seat when I saw this had been updated. I'm not even joking. I should probably go to the hospital because I'm pretty sure I broke something but that can wait! I've got me a review to write!
Good Lord man! That was dirtier than New York City subway stations; and that's saying something if you've never been to New York before!
Anyway, I would say the four years work on this was an absolutely brilliant choice and well-deserved. It was needed, because this chapter was incredibly well-written (besides the minor oopses that have already been picked to shreds by the below reviewers. :P).
I think I speak on behalf of the rest of the community by saying that a future lemon story would be great. I'm not one of those people that exclusively scour this site to read stories such as these, but you've done one hell of a job at writing such a story that, as you can obviously see, has captivated my attention.
Hell, I could see the difference in writing styles from when this was first published to this most recent update, and it's not a negative change in any way whatsoever. You've done nothing but improve on this genre, and I'd love to see you expand on it more (Not in a weird way of course. XD)
Regardless, I believe I've rambled enough, and I really think I should call an ambulance. So, with that, you have a good one Sani, and I hope to see another update from you soon! Also, I'd like a few prayers because I'm pretty certain I broke something. Oh well... it was worth it!
| Xengo chapter 6 . 2/17
When I saw that this was updated, I blinked. Then I read. And I believed.
Dang, man! I thought you wouldn't be able to outdo yourself. But you did.
Character wise, this was good. I'm a little out of my element here because I rarely write randy stuff, but to me this seemed fine. Krystal strikes me as someone who likes to be dominant, and Fox or course is willing to oblige her. Again, take my comments here with a grain of salt, so I don't write hot stuff that much, but I thought it was good.
And it was great to have Marcus' presence be revealed that way. Krystal being able to sense Marcus in the womb is a very intimate and cute idea.
One thing though: the "soft punishment part"...I don't know. I can totally see it as fine because Fox knows Krystal will not hurt him and would absolutely let him go if he was in any danger, but I still don't know if Krystal would actually do something like. Holding back an orgasm like that...it doesn't seem safe. But then again, like I said, take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Besides a couple spelling mistakes here and there, this was good!
| Order and Chaos - Qui Iudicant chapter 6 . 2/17
"Aching flower"? "Moist blossom"? Dear, dear me, this whole chapter was more comic than erotic to me. I honestly do not understand how people like you can write sexual orgasms/copulations over and over again in the same chapter without blowing up. Really, I can't. It may come as a surprise to you that I hadn't felt "anything" during the reading of this chapter; but I hadn't.
Actually, by the time I finished, I was almost bored. How the heck did your beta-readers *not* become bored is beyond me! lol
There was one mistake I noted: "Its need becoming his and "c" to him like a siren's song." I wonder if that was supposed to be "singing"?
Oh, and another mistake. When Krystal said she would "bare" his child, the proper word is "bear". Here is the "grammarist-dot-com" explanation for the difference of the terms:
"As an adjective, "bare" means "lacking clothing", "naked", "exposed to view", or "lacking adornment". As a verb, it means "to make bare", "to uncover", or "to expose". Its past tense is "bared".
"Bear" has no adjectival definition. When not referring to the large mammal, it is a verb with a variety of meanings, none of which relate to uncovering or exposing. A few of its meanings are "to hold", "to support", "to exhibit", "to carry oneself in a specified way", "to endure", "to give birth to", and "to yield (especially fruit)". Its past tense is "bore" (e.g., it bore fruit), and its past participle is "borne" (e.g., it has borne fruit).
So "bear" is the correct spelling in the phrasal verbs "bear down", "bear out", and "bear up". It’s also the correct word in the phrases "bear down on", "bear fruit", "bear in mind", and "bring to bear" and in the common phrases "grin and bear it" and "bear the brunt of". Bare wouldn’t make sense in any of these phrases or expressions."
Now, I hope Fox and Krystal learn how to to control themselves when they have children. That "orgasm" which echoed throughout the house is sure to wake some inquisitive kid up; and if they end up having a dozen or more (which I do not doubt) and *all* are telepathic like their mother, things will be doubly tensed. Speaking of which... how did that unborn fetus feel during that excitement? Nauseated, perhaps? ;)
Anyway, I was hoping for a more "quieter" epilogue, as this story has been one roller-coaster ride from one end to the other - in fact, the only (repeat, only) chapter that was "normal" was the beginning and right up until the end of that chapter.
Now don't think of me as a prude or a killjoy (especially in regards to the beginning of this review), but, enough is enough at times.
(Warning, don't finish this review if you don't want to hear me go full out on nitpicks.)
Minor things to pick over... nothing, except that I liked the little bits that were not sexual. Well, there is this one "sexual" bit I *have* to pick over, so forgive me if I sound overbearing.
Of course, the Cerinians here in this story are so decadent that... well... the punishment for adulterous "female" mates is a bit much. Does the same apply for the men, or are they stuck in a room with a thousand horny females until they are literally exhausted to death with all the constant orgasming? (of course, as this is a patriarchal society, I doubt there is any such equivalent.)
An alternate punishment is to lead the adulterous vixen out, in sackcloth, to the middle of the city square then tear it all off for the whole world to see. Then, without further ado, proceed to throw stones at her until all that is left is a bloody mess, not have every male pump into her and *then* parade her around town. That is a bad punishment.
Better to let the message sink in that adultery is not a good idea when the offender has been stoned to death, with everyone, all ages, watching. That's what has been done through history, and still is in certain parts of the world.
Oh, look at me, nitpicking and surely ruining what must be everyone's day here if they look through me review. :3 Sorry about that, couldn't resist.
| Troygroomes chapter 6 . 2/17
aw that's sweet with Krystal giving Fox the news of her being pregnant.
| xxicefire987xx chapter 1 . 12/26/2014
Dang dude that was the best fanfiction I have ever read PLZ MAKE MORE
| Balanu chapter 5 . 12/8/2014
Superbly written story, full of nicely done romance and excellent description!
| Guest chapter 5 . 9/15/2014
I demand more of this story arc! It's too good just to leave it here.
| Guest chapter 5 . 8/3/2014
This story is amazing! Now if only it would happen in the video game. And I meant them being together like that.