Reviews for Poverty and Riches
ylfrettub chapter 2 . 4/24/2010
This is interesting so far.
kelsekels chapter 2 . 4/21/2010
I like your story and the concept, but switching between povs makes it sloppy to read. I think either sticking to one character's pov (Temari, maybe?) or a third-person pov would make it easier to follow. In Kankuro's pov, you switch to third-person at the end, just so you know.

When you have a dialogue line where someone says 'well' as they pause/think, as in "You need to do that and if you have a job too well it can't be done," the 'well' needs to be set off with commas, so it would read "...a job too, well, it can't be done."

Imho, 'stated' isn't a great substitution for 'said.' neither is 'quoted'... (I know you didn't use 'quoted,' I'm just sayin'..)

It's a great story, so don't give up! Just offering somethings to take into consideration. :]

Good luck with your writer's block!
ilovemusic11 chapter 2 . 4/21/2010
i like this story. update soon!
Cabbage cabrera chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
I'm digging it so far. I'll keep an eye for updates!
Female chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
This is really good. I'm looking forward to reading more chapters. That is if you write more.
Unknown chapter 1 . 4/18/2010
_ _

/ \/ \

IT! (heart it)

\ /

\ /

\ /

\/
36 | « Prev Page 1 .. 3