|Reviews for I'll Walk You Home|
| Serenarey Chiba chapter 22 . 4/27
Man, I keep trying with this, but it's so strained and trite to read that I can't do it anymore.
It seems like you're going for a lot of drama everywhere, but I feel like you aren't really applying it very well. A lot of concepts seem like they could be good, but it's almost as if they're sporadically added to the story, without a lot of fleshing out. *shrugs*
Also, what's with this story and peeing and the word "fuck"? I don't think I've ever seen any author concentrate on those two things as much as you seem to.
I also wonder - when you produced these chapters, did you ever really proofread them and look at your grammar before posting? There are so many little mistakes everywhere that could be easily modified, but it almost seems as if you don't really care.
Well, those are my two cents on the matter. I wish you much luck with your writing in the future - may everything go well for you.
| flutecop chapter 13 . 4/14
It's been only almost a year since this last updated but I'll still believe there's a chance of being able to read the finished product because so far I'm hooked on this and I'd shower on compliments but that'd be just stating a fact that you seem to be a really good author and also a cool dude. Anyways, I kinda doubt this'll be read but if you do I hope you're having a good day and everything is going good for you.
| Outside info chapter 1 . 4/8
theotherfatoldman, his membership name on deviantart. He has 3 chapters
| Other places chapter 1 . 4/8
This guy's also on deviantart. Look for his alternate name; theotherfatoldman. He has 3 chapters there.
| anona chapter 60 . 4/7
| Psicoseada chapter 60 . 4/1
Hi! I was wondering if you will continue the story?
| Tonitokkian chapter 60 . 4/1
This is the greatest fiction I've ever read on fanfiction , I can't wait for an update
| HgSpartan chapter 60 . 3/29
Good stuff. Keep it up!
| tbird22 chapter 60 . 3/11
Well, I just finished reading all 60 chapters in 3 days and I had to find some way to thank you so I created an account just to write this review haha. This is one of the most addicting stories I have read in a long time. Every time I think its going to slow down it just speeds right up with a new twist and story arc. I am convinced you have, knowingly or unknowingly, successfully used the complex method known as ring composition (something I've only learned about recently) to deliver this wonderful story. Mind you I am no literary critic or expert, but I believe you wholeheartedly deserve someone who will explain the epicness of your story and make you feel good about yourself :p (perhaps work even harder/faster xD)
The idea behind ring composition is that you have main themes repeating throughout the overall arc of the story and within each individual part of the story. This is written out like poetry ABC...CBA ( wiki/Chiastic_structure#ABC.E2.80.A6CBA_pattern).
One of the most famous and recent examples of ring composition are Star Wars and Harry Potter although the method is ancient. George Lucas explains the repetitive and poetic aspect like this “[Star Wars] is purposely written like a piece of music, with themes that repeat themselves in different ways, and ideas that reprise from one generation to the next.” 12 However, in The Beginning, a documentary on the making of Episode 1, he instead likens the repetitions to poetry: “Instead of destroying the Death Star [like Luke], [Anakin] destroys the ship that controls the robots. It’s like poetry. Every stanza kind of rhymes with the last one.” ( )
This is exactly how I felt as I read through the various adventures Toph and Sokka were having like the sand benders in the desert and the deserters at Cho-Sen. But it is much deeper than that.
When reading your story of Tokka, we already have the original story ATLA in our minds as a foundation for your work and its very important to include that when thinking about the ring composition here. I'd like to think of ATLA as the first half of this saga with your story being the second half.
So onto the ring review.
The Rules of Ring Composition (from )
1. Exposition or Prologue
2. Split into two halves
3. Parallel sections
4. Indicators to mark individual sections
5. Central loading (important stuff happens at the middle not the end like most modern works)
6. Rings within rings
7. Closure at two levels
(For detailed descriptions of each of these factors see )
1. In the exposition of each half we see the same themes being emphasized: Do your duty, protect those you love, sacrifice and love overcoming fear. In ATLA, Sokka and Katara sacrifice their familiar life at home with their family to help the Avatar. Honestly, I believe Katara knew that the only real way to protect the Southern Water Tribe was to help the Avatar end the war. We also have themes of sacrifice in their parents. Sokkas dad leading the war party and Katara's mom sacrificing herself for her daughter. In the Walk, Sokka and Toph sacrifice their fun, familiar life with the gAang (family) to face Toph's parents (to do their duty, to do what is right). The gAang was truly the only real family Toph had ever been a part of and leaving it would be hard for her. Sokka had never really been separated from his sister but chose to go with Toph knowing he'd never forgiven himself if something happened to her. She was his true friend that, since Katara and Aang had feelings for each other, he could have fun with and he could be himself around.
2. The battle with ozai and end of the war are a pretty clear mid point.
3. We already see the parallel sections with the two beginnings but for the sake of the fandom lets take it farther :D we will split each half into 3 sections: 1. Exposition 2. Testing/Growth 3. Climax/Aftermath.
Having already discussed the themes and similarities in the exposition (and not wanting to make this longer than need be) lets move on to the testing/growth parts of each story. Focusing on the themes of duty, protecting those you love and sacrifice, there are some very interesting experiences the gAang has in the testing/growth part of ATLA.
As Aang embraces his duty as the Avatar, he also begins to embrace the romantic feelings he has for Katara. Aang eventually finds his motivation and strength to fight comes by thinking about those he loves and he is able to face the FireLord without even knowing how to go into the avatar state because of this love. Love overcomes fear. The same theme is developed in the Walk, as Sokka finds courage and strength to rescue and protect Toph because he loves her. However, both Aang and Sokka struggle in various ways due to this love. Aang has to live and fight without knowing how to access the avatar state as Guru Pathik explained it was because of his love for Katara that he would be unable to unlock it. Sokka wrestles mightily in his mind with the fear that he would become a crazed killer someday instead of a loyal protector. This doesnt even touch on Toph's intense emotional development which is fantastic all on its own.
In the climax and aftermath of each half, we see the themes developed fully. Avatar Aang dominates the firelord and retains his love for Katara. He has overcome his guilt and fear of failure. Sokka and Toph successfully face her parents. Sokka has overcome his guilt and fear of failure especially as he talks one on one with Toph's dad.
4. Indicators of each section for me would be things like arriving at the northern water tribe, learning all of the elements up to fire, and learning fire plus defeating Ozai. In the Walk, it would be things like serpents pass, the dessert through chosen, and Gaoling through the end which is yet to come.
5. Central loading basically means that the biggest most important thing happened in the middle. Even though we all love Tokka SO MUCH we recognize the defeat of Ozai as this point. In Ring composition, the middle brings us back to the themes of the beginning. Which with the reunion of Hakoda and his kids along with the reunion of the gAang, and Zuko's coronation as Fire Lord, we see the themes of duty, love and family renewed one last time.
6. Rings within rings. This is another really cool aspect. Think of this as all the political stuff and side quests going on in each side of the story.
7. Welp cant write about this because our fantabulous author hasnt finished yet but I have no doubt that you will do a great job.
Anyways, I just wanted you to see how great your writing was in case you hadn't been told enough times! Thank you so much for all the time and effort you put into this master piece. Hopefully someday it could be an ebook :D
| WarKnyte chapter 60 . 3/2
Great chapter. Took me a while to get to it, but I loved it. Your original character have so much depth and well... character to them. Great stuff.
| Larry chapter 60 . 2/23
Excellent story, but as you said, you are a fat old man and I hope you don't die before you finish it :D
| Docpage17 chapter 60 . 2/1
Really, Really good! Please keep updating! This is one of the best, if not the best story I've read.
| zulfi chapter 28 . 1/30
This story is the most amazing thing on the whole website , you sir crafted a masterpiece and for that I thank you
Waiting for another amazing chapter of yours
| KorpaKejsilic chapter 60 . 1/29
Great story, though it seemed to really slow down and kinda lose the plot a bit. But still, great effort. Keep it up. This story doesnt seem like it is going to end any time soon. What happened to those water tribe delegation? Did they disappear?
| erisol chapter 1 . 1/28
wow really well writing.