|Reviews for Survivor: Ryukyu Islands|
| Crazy Packers Fan chapter 15 . 1/3/2012
I'm glad to see you're doing another Survivor story. You still are having trouble with punctuation, I want to explain where you are struggling.
For example, one of the early lines of your chapter says this:
"It helps a little," said Kagura "But I think there was a lot more than that."
Here's how it should be:
"It helps a little," said Kagura. "But I think there was a lot more than that."
You need a period in between the quotes. Otherwise, it turns into a run-on sentence.
I just hope to help you, because it is hard to read without proper punctuation. Everything runs into itself, and it's difficult to understand.
I look forward to your next Survivor story!
| Crazy Packers Fan chapter 14 . 11/10/2010
So Kagura wins. I hate to say it, but very predictable final chapter: any time a player makes a deal on Survivor, they always get voted out. Still, very solid storyline.
The biggest problem with the story from start to finish was the poor punctuation. Hundreds of periods and commas are missing from this story. Without them, the story looks very jumbled, and is a lot harder to read, because sentences just run into each other. If you could fix the punctuation, you would really improve the story.
| Crazy Packers Fan chapter 13 . 10/10/2010
Great chapter, I thoroughly enjoyed this one. I was expecting Li to go but I was surprised when JunJun was voted out instead.
| Evan Ames chapter 1 . 9/9/2010
I was looking for this story, I heard about it probably like three weeks ago from someone's profile, but anyway nice fic.
| Drrockz chapter 1 . 9/5/2010
I don't know many of these characters so far so good!
I love reading new survivor stories :)
| albinoblackswan chapter 7 . 8/14/2010
Oh, clever, clever Kagura. If she plays this right, she could not only have a secret idol, but maybe even keep her makeshift alliance. Unfortunately, I don't see her lasting long after the merge. I'd guess she's gone shortly after InuYasha.
| Crazy Packers Fan chapter 5 . 5/26/2010
Wow, nice story. Great to see another Survivor fic out there, I thought I was the only one writing them anymore. I love how you add a lot of the Probst-isms into your story ("Come on in, guys!" "Immunity is back up for grabs!" "I'll give you a moment to strategize.")
A few tips: "Songo" should actually be "Sango." There are some punctuation problems where you're missing a punctuation mark at the end of a sentence or quote. If you can fix those up, it'll make the story look a lot better.