|Reviews for Life After Death|
| viperblack chapter 2 . 7/29/2011
Caught some more typos for you...I hope you don't mind...
"Ricky had called the girls about 2 weeks after the bash and wanted know if they wanted to come to hes next one at the end of the week because it was one not to be missed or so he said." ..his
"She Sat down and look at Nissa. "I think you night know why I'm here.""..might
""OK drop the act Nissa, I know, I mean I have always knew that she was still alive but I know she's here, the cats out of the bag."..cat's
AND HOLY COW! What is momma going to do?
| viperblack chapter 1 . 7/29/2011
" a pare of dark gray Skinny jeans, and pink checkered top that came just past the top of her pants with a white tan underneath so not to show off any boobs if she bent over didnt want to have a nipple flash yet, some baby doll shoes and some costume jewelry , a long sliver chain at the end of witch was a a few stones in different colors of purple, blue, green a and yellow,nothing too flashy and they girls where off."...I think you used the wrong word..witch
"Sarah was first to the door and was greeted by a bouncer kinda guy they they both new it was there to make sure no one caused any trouble and ever left the same way they came in, alive. "... wrong knew
"They finished damning and went to get another drink, laughing about the guy that had been watching them and Sarah have made the comment that it look like he"...should it be dancing?
""I know it could end badly or us" Nissa cut her off knowing what she was gin to say. the rest of the ride home that didn't anything else.".. for us ..and going to say
| qualamity chapter 1 . 4/23/2010
it seems like a really good beginning
but i think you should know that
about half of your chapter is in present tense
and half is on past tense