|Reviews for Now that was|
| Bebe Jayyy chapter 1 . 4/15
| Zukiemaiii chapter 1 . 4/15
"Sweet nothings" that part was cute I love this so much!
| Karinta chapter 1 . 6/27/2013
I love Maiko!
| Private Fire chapter 1 . 12/27/2012
OMG! You're a Zutarian? And you wrote this? This is perfect Maiko! And I love it!
2010? Geez, took me long enough to find it.
| AzulaInnocent chapter 1 . 4/22/2011
normally don't read lemon,
but loved the maiko!
| jiii chapter 1 . 3/12/2011
uhh mai is the coolest character in avatar. Maiko is the best couple!
| galia chapter 1 . 9/17/2010
I really enjoyed the story. It was kind of sweet.
They werw akward as they would be. I liked mentioning romantic scrolls and sailor's stories. And i thought "hey! That's the closest thing to sexual education they had!"
i liked different perspectives (Mai, Zuko, Mai). but I would have liked it more, if you showed their perspectiwes more simultaneously (eg. some of Zuko's thought's durinf foreplay).
| DofD chapter 1 . 8/25/2010
I love how with Katara he's a wild beast but with Mai he's more reserved and unsure. I have to say I do like this side of Zuko.
| WritingSchizo101 chapter 1 . 8/15/2010
Cool picture! I can see how it would inspire you. :)
This review was writen as I read.
It was a good choice to start off thinking about what brought them to this point . . . and then to abandon it in the heat of the moment. lol! The only comment I have about the first paragraph is that 'torn' should be 'tore'. Other than, sounds hot. :D
The part about how they know everything about the territory they have already explored makes sense, as does Zuko's hesitation to explore new things. Very natural and realistic for them not to fully understand how to pleasure each other, or what to do. This kind of thing happens in real life, so I aplaud you for not sugarcoating the first time. Your spelling is pretty good so far, as well!
'her fingers running in his black hair pulling him in further to her body.' Try this: 'her fingers running through his black hair, pulling him closer to her body.'
Or just 'pulling him closer.'
You handle the first time VERY well, explaining everything in fashion that makes it hot and realisticaly awkward at the same time! I love the detail and the way the entire piece seems to flow as well as thier actions do. That's a good thing.
I love how she does know he could use his toung! lol! Just great! Plus, it only adds to the tension and also how inexpirienced she really is. Yay Mai! :D
And you empasize that with Zuko's thought about not paying attention. Cool! I also like how tentative Mai when he presses himself against her. Cute in a smutty way, I think.
"Yes, you idiot." ROTFL!
Love Zuko's slight confusion when they try to have sex. I'm not a boy, so I cannot be sure, but I think this sounds pretty accurate. Again, not a boy so I don't know. lol!
Ha ha! What the heck was Zuko DOING? Babbling about nothing and then he didn't last very long . . .
'damp mess' awesome detail!
You made me laugh. Zuko rolls off of her and they just stare. Zuko's happy, grinning like an idiot, and Mai . . . poor Mai! Didn't orgasm. Zuko surely has no idea of this, or that she even should have. lol!
Firebenders having hours of stamina sounds about right. SWhat the hell, Zu Zu? :D 'Romance scrolls'! lol!
I have a problem with this: 'Despite this, she knew she shouldn't be bored but she had been. Frowning slightly, she returned to the bed to find Zuko snoring softly. She shook her head and sighed softly curling up next to him, slipping into a restless sleep.' Try this: Despite this, she she should not have been bored, but that was just unsatisfying. Frowning slightly, she returned to the bed to find Zuko snoring softly. Shaking head, she sighed and curled up next to him, slipping into a restless sleep.'
I am excited to see mai finaly getting what she wanted: satisfacation. :) Zuko has no idea, so she's deserving of this at the very least, right? :D I love the bit agout riding animals.
'Station' should be 'stature' I think. A lady of her stature.
Love how she repeats what Zuko said at the end!
Grade: low B
| J-Cut chapter 1 . 6/10/2010
Right to the love making but i would like it better if they were more experienced in sex
| Master Miyako chapter 1 . 5/21/2010
Excellent! Truely captivates what the moment is like.
Zuko got it better then my first haha... Couldn't even stay up... XD
I would advise you steer clear of the "harsh" sexual words. Instead use something like "shaft". It just makes it that much better really, We all know what you are on about, and it just fits the mood better, IMO.
Everytime I see "Cock" or "Pussy" in these, I just don't feel right reading it. It's supposed to be a romance, not a soft core porn fest. Anyways that's just my opinion.
You did excellent in captivating and ending the story just where it was needed. Excellent work. I would suggest draw this out a bit more and add more description not only to the two, but their environment. I strongly look forwards to more from you. Thanks for sharing! :3
| maiko122 chapter 1 . 5/17/2010
"Now that was…wow!"-Agreed 333
Great job on your first Maiko :)
| anon chapter 1 . 4/29/2010
| oz chapter 1 . 4/27/2010
it indeed was.. wow
| jc chapter 1 . 4/26/2010
Maybe you a do a Zuko and (!6,s year old) Toph story,and then Zuko and Ty lee,s one.