|Reviews for The Land of Heaven|
| jasmineflowr19876 chapter 2 . 1/13/2012
what is it?
| jasmineflowr19876 chapter 1 . 1/13/2012
"Danshi, Tian-tian'r gongzhu!" ke shi would be better. and it would help if you wrote the words , ta men bu zhi dao.
| Kenshin El chapter 3 . 12/5/2011
I lmfao at the are you gay part.
| chugga chugga choooo chapter 1 . 6/28/2011
Eat my review fuel with the power of youth YOSH! And tenten kill to dad if turns out to be evill
| Guest chapter 3 . 5/12/2011
this short 3 chapters were not bad..very good cliff hanger but from reading it, it would appear that you want everyone to gather that most of the techs come from the Heaven Country..even the great SENSU and Uchiha clans are orig from the Heaven Country...very interested though...what's up with will he not be welcomed?...i guess i'll have to wait to see were the creative works take him...
| Sands Buisle chapter 3 . 3/18/2011
This looks like a good story, I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Some of the bloodlines you made up are kinda weird; sand, wood and iron I understand, but fire and water? Looks more like skill than a bloodline trait. But that's just my opinion
| Ioga chapter 3 . 3/13/2011
Wandered in through an alert notification. :) This was quite the positive surprise; the summary inside the chapters made me expect a somewhat less matured story, what with the magic concepts of "ran away from home to another country", "because women couldn't be ninja in her home country", and "best friend comes after her". O;)
But it's actually really cool stuff so far! And I totally heart the thrown-in Chinese, I can't speak it or understand it but my brain goes straight to decrypting mode when there's words repeated and an explanation attached to what the lines were about. It'd be great if you'd include translations of the Chinese statements in the end chapter author notes, when they're not obvious from the text itself!
My main slight discomfort comes from the plethora of Ultimate Ninjutsu located in the Land of Heaven, like controlling elements without seals (I'm not sure if that happens in the Naruto universe beyond when demons do the magic for you, does it? Even with bloodlines.) Having the "exact" equivalents for most main elements disturbed me a bit too - the heavenly abilities, like flying (while a bit flashy) seemed more independent/original. I'm under the impression that one of the explanations for bloodlines indicated that it meant you could control more than one element, and the _combination_ generated the crazy abilities, rather than having elemental bloodlines. Like wood was earth and water, or whatever. But hey, I'm willing to look and see what you do with them. (I haven't read the original, I just got here. :))
In case you're tracking typoes, I noted down a few minor nitpicks since there were so few of them left: First chapter: diamyo - daimyo. Second chapter: I don't think you need to repeat the summary at the start of every chapter, and it's not really necessary to tag flashbacks as (flashback) when you've done them in italics (them Real(TM) books don't either, even though it's popular here ;)). In second chapter, "as soon ad" - as; "every which gift sharp eyes" - every gift with, probably? Chapter 3: By the way, "as was the clan rules with women" is a bit hard to parse in the summary. "chewed on her bottom lip, indicating" - indication sounds a bit like she's trying to give the signal that she worries, which would be strange. Nearby, "looking her" - looking at her; "thinkthe" - think the, and finally nearby "oh, by Kami" - I'm not an expert, but I'm under the impression the Japanese don't use kami as a swearword the same way Christians do.
Thanks for this, and good luck with the valuable rewrite effort! Better luck with hard disks too, and remember those backups! :)
| AnimeFreak218 chapter 3 . 2/28/2011
Love love love love LOVE ITTTTTTT
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON 3
| hitsugayataichoda chapter 3 . 2/20/2011
i cracked so hard at the Neji and Destiny part:D Plz update soon!
| TotTyrer chapter 3 . 2/18/2011
im hooked on this story
please update soon :D
| digitalprincess09 chapter 3 . 2/17/2011
luv ur story! think it will be awesome...
| Reading-in-the-Corner chapter 3 . 2/16/2011
woohoo~! AWESOME chapter xD
so happy that ur continuing this brilliant fanfic xD
looking 4ward to ur next update :)
| Crestfallenfeline chapter 3 . 2/16/2011
Heh Neji was jealous and now suspicious... I cant wait to see his reaction when he finds out Tentens an heiress!
I love this story update sooon
| xBitterSweetDreamsx chapter 3 . 2/16/2011
great chapter, glad u updated
| gardensigernumbli chapter 2 . 11/26/2010
I feel kinda stupid, reviewing again so soon. But that Demon Sword sounds a lot like the Elder Wand. And the whole "fire without seals," not to mention fire, water, and earth... Sounds like Avatar: the Last Airbender to me. Plus you had those Fire Nation-ish ships in Heaven's Country.
So that's Naruto, HP, and A:TLA all in one. Sorta. You're awesome.