|Reviews for Leaving The Memories|
| KillerUchiha chapter 2 . 2/9/2011
Not to worry, Solace. I will be the first to review!
First off, great beginning. I've not yet read a Chronicles of Narnia fiction, but it was good for my first.
As for my reasonable, critical review, my praises:
-Excellent grammar, not a spelling error, or mistaken homonym that I saw, but a couple past/ present tense mix-ups, which everyone does
-Decent detail on Essabelle's somewhat twisted and hidden feelings
-You've remembered to tell us how she's related to the story by being Caspian's cousin
Now, sorry to say, for the placesd of improvement:
-Why was she so angry at her father, the King, that she would push him off a cliff?
-How did the family react to the King's sudden death?
-Who all is going on the trip? Essabelle and some servant's, the three of the family, just the twins?