|Reviews for My Journal About My Life and Stephen and Miranda|
| That Weird Angel chapter 1 . 3/14
I did notice some information that isn't needed with descriptions like "she has glasses." It's not a good closing line for a paragraph. There are a couple of spelling errors like the phrase a lot, which should be two words instead of one, and roles, unless you are talking about a character, should be rolls.
| MinervasBibliophage chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
I love how you keep the story true to the narrator's voice; it makes it seem so realistic with her stream of consciousness way of writing.
/I asked, but Stephen just said, "Because despite all evidence to the contrary, Fate has apparently decided that I have not yet been subjected to enough eleven-year-old idiocy."/ This was one of the best lines ever; I couldn't stop laughing.
| Tea for Lupin chapter 4 . 10/10/2011
This is a fabulous story. The charactisation is spot on as always - not just of Severus and Minerva but of all the OCs as well, the relationship between Adela's two dads, the way she writes about why she is writing certain things down (so reminds me of me at that age!) I turn green with envy when I read fics like this... You have a real gift Kelly! Thank you!
| AdamiRose chapter 4 . 7/27/2011
I adored this story. it was just so adorable. and very well written.
| crockywock chapter 3 . 6/22/2011
I love that M & S (wonderful abbreviation...) don't just wipe everyone's mind and get on with it. First, I thought they had some kind of reason why they couldn't use all the magic they needed, like when Severus used Minerva's wand. But when I think about it, it seems obvious to not always use mind magic straight away for every breech of secrecy. It must be complicated.
I'm thinking about these things because I just realised that it makes stories a lot more interesting if you just ignore the option of obliviation. Somehow, this kind of scene, where wizards and witches have to explain accidental public magic, get ruined if the author just decides that everyone is good at obliviating everyone. Ahem.
"She and Stephen looked at each other, and he gave her the same kind of smug smirk that Rosa gives her brothers when she gets the better of them somehow. 'Go ahead, Miranda,' Stephen said. 'Explain that one to the child.'"
Pure gold, this one. My inner eye is producing such glorious pictures that it makes me bob up and down excitedly on my chair, which I did when reading HBP for the last time, I think. Mm, okay, maybe during one or two scenes in DH as well.
Sudden bold writing: very effective. LOL She is so excited about their intimacy. It would be contageous if I wasn't in exactly the same state of mind already.
| crockywock chapter 2 . 6/22/2011
"She's usually the only one who makes Stephen laugh."
I can see that. That is, I read these two exactly this way. They speak to each other as equals and that is rare in Severus's case because he is always either someone's minion or their boss.
This is one of these rare instances where fanfiction makes me think I've just dived into JK's world and met her characters. And it's beautiful and awesome because it is Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape in their private time. Have you ever liked a teacher and wished they weren't only your teacher but also your friend, but knew this could never happen because of the nature of their and your relationship? That's a little how this feels. 3
"fuck it, fuck it"
It always fascinates me to see people write a more boisterous, "lower class" version of Severus. I never read him this way and cringe whenever he swears too much, but that's me graciously overlooking that side of Snape which makes him spit on the Quidditch Pitch when his team loses... hehehe.
I am reading the story aloud, which emphasises the beauty of the seventh grader tone you use. It puts me in mind of "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime" minus some of Christopher's quirks. And plus the wonderful imagination of a thirteen-year-old who is lucky enough to encounter M & S in a Muggle setting. 3
And yes, I intend to review every chapter even though we already finished reading, including the sequel. That's why I'm so late reviewing, too. Couldn't stop in-between chapters. :D
| crockywock chapter 1 . 6/20/2011
I adore you so much for writing this wonderful story. My wife pointed it out to me and now we're reading together and it is such an exceptionally well-written piece which makes me feel incredibly good inside. I can hardly find the words to tell you how much I love it already. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
| TalesOfSpike chapter 3 . 4/9/2011
Awwww! I thought for a minute you had killed Hermione, there.
I'm really glad that the pair of them have found something to cling to in all that loss.
| TalesOfSpike chapter 2 . 4/9/2011
No, I won't resurrect all the 'illegal alien' jokes from Bill Paxton's repertoire in Alien 2, even though I'm a little bit tempted.
I *am* beginning to wonder, unlike Adela, if the minder thing is true. It might just explain why Severus had to use Minerva's wand instead of his own.
| TalesOfSpike chapter 1 . 4/9/2011
You are a tease, woman. You have me wondering whether Severus and Minerva are in love, now. When I'm not smirking at 'alot' and the eye 'roles'.
| excessivelyperky chapter 3 . 3/26/2011
A beautiful chapter (though Adele has some to learn about writing yet-a lot is not normally one word). But she sees what she sees, and no matter how they explain it, she is seeing the truth.
Especially the bit about the two being in love with each other.
| excessivelyperky chapter 2 . 2/21/2011
"they see, but they do not observe."
Clearly, Adele has been doing quite a bit of both in this chapter. She also obviously enjoys writing down the words she knows she's not supposed to use; but one has to be _accurate_ after all, and she rather likes that part.
Very good chapter.
| excessivelyperky chapter 1 . 2/10/2011
I really enjoyed this! I like the way it started out, and how observant this girl is. Adela notices that Miranda is definitely a teacher by the way other kids act around her. Sorry to hear that Stephen still looks worn and tired, though. But then, recovering from a huge old snakebite probably means he's doing lots better than he was before.
I liked how the Prince name came into it, too.
| Guest chapter 4 . 2/7/2011
You just made my day! :D
Thank you :)
| love this chapter 3 . 1/31/2011
Truly beautiful, I really hope you'll do a seq!
Your writing is very good, the plot is fantastic and original and I'd love to read more about them 3