|Reviews for The Silver Rings|
| Shadowalais chapter 4 . 7/8/2010
This chapter was very interesting and the plot is really moving. Jack now has his name and Martha's car is fixed, so she can drop off Jack at Security. Though I have to say that the quote in this chapter is very fitting. I guess Martha choosing a name for Jack might deepen the attachment she feels towards the baby.
Anyway, I enjoyed the conversation between Martha and Zora. I liked the little details you inserted like Zora being a fan of American music and Martha's mother listening to Micheal Jackson. In addition, I liked the history of how Zora's parents met.
It looks like Zora's planted some doubts in Martha's mind about taking Jack to Security (though she still seems dead set on doing so at the end of the chapter.) I am quite curious how Zora came to know all these pieces of information about Security and what happens to orphaned children. I'm also interested in how Martha came to decide on the name "Jack."
Overall, I thought the chapter was fantastic! Each chapter gets better and better! I can't wait to read the next installment since I know it's going to rock! Keep up the amazing work!
| July 3 chapter 4 . 7/3/2010
LOVE IT! 3
Can't wait for another chapter!
| Ginneke chapter 4 . 7/2/2010
Well, it was most definitely worth it. (and I can't help but laugh at the "drawing on AP tests" comment - wasn't that the elephant and giraffe in love, instead of an essay on the Puritans?)
I like the little details you slot in, like Martha's mum having a soft spot for Michael Jackson's music or Zora's reluctance to say what she really means - certainly would like to know what she was about to say *hint*
And of course, you've answered my question from chapter 3, with Jack being his new name. I think Jen might be onto something with the -Jack-son detail...
I must ask, though, if you wrote parts of this during the small hours (like what happened with Fortune Cookies)? There are occasional small mistakes that would under normal circumstances have been picked out, like an adverb missing its "ly", and one particular sentence that I now can't find, but it sounded a little ... off. If I find it again, I'll let you know through a PM?
Anyway, I think I've wittered on for long enough. I'll leave you alone now (..until the next story/chapter, that is).
| jenuinetears chapter 4 . 7/2/2010
Yes! An update!
So Zora arrives. It would make sense for her to be pregnant with Leo, but it still surprises me that she was described as beautiful. But there's still at least 15 years (I think) until the events of 5D's come, so there's time for a change. I liked the bit about how Martha thought that her mom dancing to MJ music was odd, but how she did it anyways a few years after. xD
Zora seems to be very sure that Security isn't the right option. From what I can see, it seems like she knows this from a personal experience, perhaps because of a friend who gave their child to security?
Woot! Jack is named. I still wonder why Martha chose that name, though. A trubute to Michael -Jack-son? Well, I can't wait until the next chapter!
| Shadowalais chapter 3 . 6/16/2010
Wow. Martha's day seems to go from bad to worse. I mean, she gets Jack, her truck breaks down, and Jack soils her favorite quilt. Poor Martha.
The introduction of Masato (who I’m sure is Zora’s husband since he’s a clockmaker) was an interesting twist. It makes sense for Martha and Zora to meet when Martha was a teenager since there's a difference in Martha's and Zora's ages in the show and Zora's older than Martha.
And all sorts of plot developments were revealed: Martha discovered Jack's rings which had his last name engraved on them and she learned the real reason why Jack was given up. It was very shocking and disturbing to learn the different shapes, sizes, and colors of the bruises on Jack's body. I mean, he's so young and he's been hurt so badly.
Though I'm still quite curious what changes Martha's mind about keeping Jack considering she currently wants to turn him into Security. And what leads to Martha opening the orphanage since she's doesn't want to raise any children (let alone an orphanage full of them?)
Anyway, I loved the chapter. It's very engaging and dramatic. I look forward to the next chapter to see more of Jack's and Martha's story to be told. Keep up the awesome work!
| Closed Account990 chapter 3 . 5/25/2010
Please continue the story and I think Masato's wife is Loren, and Masato is the little kid, Jack's, father.
| Kelisidina chapter 3 . 5/9/2010
Well done; loving the transition from Martha's indifference and panic to her almost-maternal state.
I love how slow you're taking it, very realistic and smooth. You need some well-deserved praise! ;)
| TeamSatisfactionFangirl chapter 3 . 5/4/2010
This starting to make wonder how did Martha come across Jack, and those rings.
| jenuinetears chapter 3 . 5/4/2010
Nice chap! I was surprised when Martha's truch broke down, I thought that at least one thing would go fine for her for once. Wrong. And then Jack had to pee. What excellent timing, Jack. Then again, that's what babies do, so...
Wow. Jack's injuries- the fact that there was such a variety of colors, all bruises, on a baby, and that- just shocking. I knew that his father physically abused him, but that really made me feel bad for him.
There's not much more stuff I'd like to rave on, but I do think I know who Masato's wife is. At first I thought it would be the Fudo's, but then I read the clock part. Is it Zora? After all, it was said that her husband repaired clocks and such. Interesting. That would explain the implied old friend relationship between Martha and Zora.
I think that was my favorite chapter so far. Keep up the good work!
| Ginneke chapter 3 . 5/4/2010
I had to re-read it to make sure, but I'm pretty convinced that Masato (being a clockmaker) is Zola's husband and Leo's father. Which would explain how Martha and Zola know each other... And one day Jack will end up being a lodger in that "new home" that Masato has been saving up to buy, no?
I love how you take all these little details that seem so insignificant - especially since the Poppo time clock episode seems so widely disliked.
And then, mood whiplash. From the more lighthearted stuff earlier in the chapter, plunging to Martha's horror as she finds out just why Jack was given away, and why his mother was in such a terrible condition. Her response, I think, was realistic.
I've just reread the first chapter and have noticed that you never refer to Jack by name. Can I assume from this that his original first name is lost, as it were, when he gets 'inherited'? (and that bit about inheriting a baby in the vacant parking lot amused me, for some reason.) If so, then Jack being named thus by (-presumably-) Martha is symbolic of his fresh start in life.
| Ginneke chapter 2 . 5/3/2010
I like this interpretation of Martha. I also think it's wonderfully ironic, the way you've juxtaposed the beginning and ending events of this chapter - opening Martha being relieved she isn't pregnant, then getting saddled with a baby anyway. Can't quite figure out if she's got bad karma or just mixed, at this point...
The description of the coming storm was powerful, and I liked the "reeked of rainfall" bit in particular. It was very good at building up the atmosphere, and the tension too. I felt sorry for Loren, and I hope she managed to escape her husband; too bad she had to leave her son behind. Although, judging by the cirucumstances (and the discussion in Retributionshipping, even if it wasn't your main inspiration), I'd be surprised if she did...
Hope you update soon, Lucarly!
| Kelisidina chapter 2 . 4/30/2010
It was very dramatic, yet comedic in its own light. I liked how you meshed those two together, and this chapter was really a nice piece of literature D
Character seems IC, can't really complain about anything here 8D
| TeamSatisfactionFangirl chapter 2 . 4/29/2010
I always knew that Jack was older than Yusei (I had to go on to absolute anime to find out, turns out Jack is 19 in the series, but since the WRPG started the year is now 2022, making Jack probably 20 and Kiryu possibly, Yusei should be 19 now and Crow; I have no idea), my little theory came from the flashback episode when Kiryu was arrested.
| Shadowalais chapter 2 . 4/29/2010
Well this chapter was a dramatic explosion! Very intriguing. We met Martha and she's a lot different than how she was in the show, but then again she's very young here. I like her friendship with Dr. Schmitt. It's nice to see Dr. Schmitt again since he only really showed up once in the show.
How Martha got Jack was really surprising. Definitely caught me off guard. I wonder how Martha will handle raising Jack since she doesn't know anything about raising children and she's kind of stretched on funds (and raising kids is a lot of money.)
Anyway, this chapter was really interesting. I look forward to Martha's growth. I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the excellent work!
| My Thyla My Captain chapter 2 . 4/29/2010
Another awesome chapter! plz continue, fast!