|Reviews for My Immortal|
| Mac128 chapter 11 . 1/6/2013
There is a duplicate in this chapter, Just aheads up if you were to ever re-edit. :)
| Shannon the Original chapter 37 . 8/10/2012
this is really good, update soon
| Guest chapter 11 . 7/7/2012
I like the idea for this story and you can clearly see where it is going to go which is good because it makes it less confusing for the reader, However i do feel the story is a little rushed and that you should go into greater detail of the Characters thoughts and feelings. I know this can be hard to do but slowing the pace of the story down is always good for romantic stories and for the action parts it is good to speed up the text as it makes it feel more dramatic. I hope i am not confusing you by saying this i just mean to help. Will keep reading on because i am interested to see how the story progresses :)
| Glory Bee chapter 37 . 6/6/2012
Not sure why you marked it as complete when it is not? I found the story rushed as well and the chapters too short.
| Lunan chapter 9 . 12/19/2010
Just a little note on your mention of Limwen's bow, bows are never made of cherry wood, cheery has next to no spring to it, like oak does. It may make beautiful furniature, but it would snap under any sort of tension.
Other than that I have no real complaints, keep up with the writing.
| Spanish Angel chapter 37 . 12/18/2010
I have to say, I'm not sure how to go about reviewing this story. I suppose I'll start with what I didn't like…
I felt that the story was too rushed, like you only put into words what was visible in the films. There was no space or time for Legolas and Limwen to realistically fall in love. The emotions they displayed seemed unnecessary and eventually became a bit annoying. There were really no deep, personal thoughts or emotions anywhere in the story, other than ones such as the sudden hate for Grima, the "love at first sight" between Legolas and Limwen… the expected, I suppose. I would have liked to see deeper thoughts from both characters, ones that did not make them seem shallow and simple, for other aspects of this story proved that they were not.
However, there are certainly redeeming qualities! You have a wonderful writing style, one that is not at all confusing or boring. You also seem to have an excellent grasp on your character (I myself struggle with that particular difficulty when writing, so I know this is a great accomplishment!) and accurately portray her through her interactions with others.
I only encourage that you expand on the details of the surroundings and the other characters. I know most who read this story will have seen the movies, but making everything more vivid in our minds will only add to the intensity of the tale and anxiousness we feel when reading it. Doing so will also make Legolas and Limwen's emotions and actions more realistic; no longer will they appear to be simple, love-sick Elves. I also suggest you give Limwen deeper thoughts, ones that reveal her nature even more, if that makes sense.
You are well on your way to becoming a great writer; don't let anything I say make you think otherwise! You should be proud of this story! Keep writing!
| poplar-kat chapter 11 . 12/11/2010
another good chapter, but it was repeated twice in here. lol, just wanted 2 let u know
| poplar-kat chapter 3 . 12/11/2010
i absolutely love this and im only in my 3rd chapter! its great! and i just love legolas!
| SavannahMaethilwen chapter 37 . 5/9/2010
Really Good! Can't wait for more...
| Sel Raen chapter 24 . 4/30/2010
Okay i love lord of the rings i love Legolas and I love this story keep going it's a great story.(Legolas fore eva.)