|Reviews for Death's Avatar|
| Scarla Vanessa chapter 1 . 1/19
It's pretty nicely done, congrats! It is kinda amateurish though... I don't think you thought out the plot line much tho. Please don't be offended bc I'm going to be giving you a LOT of feedback.
Naruto is too OP. Yo must nerf him to make the plotline more interesting and emotionally attaching. Naruto is supposed to be only Genin; he should have one ability at most, like the phasing out of reality thing or the death threads. Also, if he has an OP ability, you can make him too dependant on it; remove the godly taijustsu, Naruto isn't supposed to be god level yet. He can also find the knife later on; the Knife doesn't do anything to the story except making him more powerful.
Another point. If Naruto's this powerful, why hasn't Danzo gotten his hands on him yet? Why hasn't he already graduated? You may want to nerf his wits a little bit and give the role to Shika instead. Also, find a job for Sasuke and Kakashi too.
What is Team 7's specialty? This Naruto doesn't seem much like a prankster, so no Sabotaj. I also don't think Tracking would be ok, Sasuke would be put on a combat related team. That would put either Naruto or Shika to support. Sasuke would HAVE to be a front-line fighter cuz politics.
And the most important part. Add a little bit of pain and tragedy. Naruto must lose and learn lessons. Make it relatable.
2.30 AM critisicm over. Thanks for putting up with me and sorry if I was harsh!
| Nihatclodra chapter 1 . 11/20/2017
Could certainly be interesting if continued, which is highly unlikely at this point...
| rhizz17 chapter 1 . 3/21/2016
| KityKira2501 chapter 1 . 1/12/2016
| Shadow .X. Heart chapter 1 . 8/5/2015
i like the fic good start but you abond it and the team sucks where are the girls?
| Kira Blade chapter 1 . 5/25/2015
why not call it Shigan? since shi means 4 or death and since the eyes show who ever sees it their death in numerous ways why not name it death eye or something related to death?
| DoomRiderKing chapter 1 . 11/9/2014
nice. hope to see more soon.
| DragonStorm the phoenix chapter 1 . 10/19/2014
This story rocks
| Primus2021 chapter 1 . 8/2/2014
The Shikigan! Named after, 'The Shiki Fujin' Dead Demon Consuming Seal. Fujin Seal.
Shiki Death or Dead Demon Consuming. Gan Eyes. so Shikigan Death's Eyes or Dead Demon Consuming Eyes.
I like the Powers and Abilitise, I'd add a few thing however, The Eagle Vision of Assassin's Creed and the Shinigami Eyes of Death Note.
The Sword sounds like it came from Bleach, as it is a Soul Cutter aka a Zanpakutou, as such I hope it has a Shikai and Bankai.
I usually ask for NaruHina in this segment of my review, but I think even she might be put off by seeing her own death in the eyes of her crush, unless you make her immune to his power due to the Purity of her Heart and Soul, as such I think the Only real viable pairing you can use, is Naruto x Priestess Shion, as both can 'See' or cause others to 'See' the death of those that look into their eyes. Overall I'm voting for NaruHinaShion.
| Nightmare daniell61 chapter 1 . 10/23/2013
i love how you seem to come up with ideas for good storys but never continue them...
| Ranmaleopard chapter 1 . 10/3/2013
this is god damn awesome i cant wait to see what happens next please continue!
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/26/2013
This is Amazing you need to both keep it online and continue to update it!
Also I was wondering if you have thought about any love intrests for naruto?
| Noxy the Proxy chapter 1 . 5/20/2013
... only is Naruto powerful Kakashi refers to him as 'Obviously insane student." I wonder how he's gonna get along with his team.
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/27/2013
I like it. Its interesting and original, something most authors should strive to do more often. Good work
| Toshiro of the Eternal Dream chapter 1 . 3/8/2013
I want you to continue this story as soon as possible.