|Reviews for Expansion|
| Deo77 chapter 24 . 7/15/2014
This is not just a review for the chapter but for the entire story, all 24 chapters. Alabaster86, you really outdid yourself! I love how the entire story focuses not completely on romantic topics, like some of the mediocre fanfictions out there do, but also winds in threads of politics (which I have always wondered about for the Fire Nation) and family togetherness (I LOOVE Miya and Ryu!). The chapters are long and engrossing and it took me almost three days to read the story from start to finish (keep in mind that each time I read it was for HOURS). I love how you took the characters from the original show and wound them perfectly into the story-how Azula is acting after her breakdown in Sozin's Comet Part 4; Toph's hilarious attitude and the way she refers to Mai and Zuko as "Grumpy" and "Blade", Katara's bond with Mai, et cetera. Another thing that was cool about this story is the use of grammatical fine-tuning; some stories I've read on this very website are RIDICULOUS because the grammar and punctuation are so poor that it's hard to understand what's even going on! Your story doesn't have that problem at all. Oh, and I'm SO EXCITED that Ursa returned; I'm sure that all Avatar: The Last Airbender fans secretly wish that she would!
In short, this fanfiction is marvelous. You, Alabaster, need to get to work on the next one! :D
| mikin chapter 19 . 1/7/2014
So we you are a really gifted writer this is very intriguing great job
| Danielle chapter 13 . 1/7/2014
I love your chapter you made it so much like a book and really intrigue my fantasy knowledge ty reel doin yo thank
| A Fire Nation Citizen chapter 6 . 7/29/2012
I love the plots of your stories! Your Zuko and family has become one of my favorite fan-universe. When I am writing fanfiction or reading it I find myself thinking ok, so how would the "real"-Zuko react? ok, so how would the Alabaster-Zuko react?
This is one of the best stories on !
| A Fire Nation Citizen chapter 5 . 7/29/2012
Noting wrong with straightening hair. Mai's being paranoid. Could have used something else for her character development but good job. It works in characterizing her, but I automatically side with Mai's mom. :( :)
| A Fire Nation Citizen chapter 11 . 7/29/2012
I cannot see any monarch as being a champion of free speech. It is near impossible. They might allow some of it, but your version of Zuko has too many enlightenment ideals and modern values.
That said I love this story a lot once I can get past the contradictions. The plot is really interesting, but it is hard for one to convincingly portray a strong absolute monarch who also allows free speech in an industrialized society with printing presses.
| CrazyDyslexicNerd chapter 24 . 2/14/2012
Awesome story. It's really well crafted, the characters are flawed, but lovable and understandable, and all together, they're just great. I cheered when Tom joined the 'Path of Tea and Failure' which usually wins... I've been planning a series of one-shots of people beginning to follow this path, or realising they always have. Starting, of course with Iroh.
This is amazing.
P.S. I have an account by the same penname, but I'm too lazy to login.
| prince zuko3 chapter 24 . 8/26/2011
hey sorry, i said i would review around chapter 15, and i had full intentions too, but when i looked up at the chapter number i was already at 18, this story flew past and i loved every 165 thousand words. it was amazing, and im hoping your thinking of a way to continue this soon. please?
i was really sad to finish this, this series of stories, starting with Mai, that centered around said girl, to branching out in two no more as well as all the many oneshots that were involved in this amazing series, and i never wanted it to end, i had mixed feelings about reading the last 3 - 4 chapters due to not wanting the story to end. so please continue when ever you have the time and are stuck on what to write.
so my thoughts on the story. it was simply amazing.
starting with the all so familiar love of maiko that all your stories portray so well, to becoming that of zuko watching out for toph with her problems, showing his true authority to the old bitter members of his council, finally getting some of the most needed respect that he deserves from the old men. which he more than willingly deserves. then becoming that of unraveling such a traitorous and devilish plot to not only overthrow him, but kill him and his entire lovely family, and it was the idea behind said plot that was so unique and amazing that it brought such a strong edge to the story, something that im sure kept alot of your readers on edge and very much interested. Im not the biggest fan of OC's but i really enjoyed the way you made both Maho, and hideo, and im very glad that you found someone to make ursa happy, she deserves it after all.
i LOVE miyako and ryuhito, they are both so cute, a mini sokka when it comes to eating with miyako, and such a strong character ryu is sure to become, a mini zuko when it comes to his seriousness but still such a fun loving young child.
Tomiko is slowly becoming a great character, im sure there could be so many things he could branch off to become, hes smart, from what the last chapters state he has great friends, and he has an amazing family to help him through any to all difficulties. Zuko and Mai did well to bring the boy into their home, and treat him like he was their own and not the son of traitors, which im very sure zuko would never hold their children responsible in anyway considering hes deeply inlove with their daughter.
Mai being pregnant during the entire story was something i didnt expect, i honestly thought she would give birth sometime around chapter 12, that way you could build Kami into a much stronger character, which im sure she will become.
on the note of kami it was really heart breaking to see such a new born go through such a tough state, in a very early state of her life. it would of been such a hard time for mai and of course the overworrying zuko, such a caring father. always hoping to protect his family, with his life if he had to, which we all know he would with out a second thought.
Oono, you dick. pretty much sums up him, but there is so much other words i could say about him. how dare he plan such terrible things to his firelord. willing to kill him, in cold blood, as well as his entire family, 2 babies and a pregnant woman, as well as his mother, and azula as well, although it dosent bother me as much with azula, considering i dont really like her.
Hoshi and Akira,shame on you. betraying your lord, but more importantly your daughter, Mai tried hard with you, and you repay her in this manor, disgusting, you deserve more than the punishment you received.
I love how you display Mai and Zuko, their love for each other is amazing and there is no other way to put it, the story of mai and zuko, once thought about, is a much more romantic story than that of romeo and julliet.
as kids they had to struggle to even get some time together, away from azula and ty lee, just to be alone, and all though that time was rare for them, their feelings for each other became strong, strong enough to keep them away from others for all those years, only wanting each other, although they didnt know what the real feelings they had for each other were until after zuko left, and when he finally returned 3 years later, he was right with mai, their love was there and stronger than it could have ever been, and when he left her, although she hated him, and he hated himself for it, they were still so strongly in love that they managed to be able to live their lives together, and still be so overly inlove that its incredible. and you continue the love story that the world should know of. so thank you.
i dont know what else to say about this amazing story other than i hope you do decide to continue, if anything else comes to mind then i will be sure to leave another review, which as i hear, you love to get.
I LOVE THIS STORY continue please.
| Sonya Rivers chapter 24 . 8/11/2011
Amazing story, as usual. Thanks so much for it!
| Vi-Violence chapter 6 . 6/3/2011
Something about Azula everyone seems to be missing, her announcement of being evil is contradictory to her claims, as she is smarter than that it means she's lying, and a better person that she is willing to believe/admit, I would be happy to debate this while at a more stable level of consciousness (what am I doing up so late anyways?, Oh ya, reading this..)
| sporeman3 chapter 19 . 1/25/2011
thank you thank you thank you for putting those horrible parents in jail and for only one arrow hitting zuko
| sporeman3 chapter 15 . 1/24/2011
So that bitch akira finally gives up the act and shows her colors thanks I really don't think the avatar creators would go that far but you make an interesting story
| Guest chapter 16 . 1/23/2011
WTF now that is ripping off warriors by Erin hunter
Lionheart is a character in that series
| Sporeman3 chapter 6 . 1/19/2011
Love it love it love it I've read "mai" and "two no more" and are now working on reading this thanks to you even Iroh is getting married that is some thing I have't seen before
| Guest chapter 24 . 1/12/2011
plz make that new story soon oh and by the way great story