Reviews for A Cullen Story
Tornintopeices chapter 1 . 6/19/2010
Congratulations. You've made a crappy book (Twilight) even crappier and absolutely ruined one of Shakespeare's works.

For the record, taking lyrics from someone else and pasting them here WITHOUT CREDIT is plagerism.

Where to begin.

Ahh yes, your Mary-Sue (because that's what Niella whatsserface is). Either make her outrageous enough to actually be funny or actually attempt to make her a character. Niella is a boring, cardboard cutout of a character (although with Bella 'I'm so flat I'm paper' Swan as an inspiration I can't blame you).

Your plot, if I can call it that, makes absolutely no sense. They go from 21st century America to 13th century (fictional) Italy without any sort of confusion and then transition back to 21st century America perfectly. If you're going to transport characters to and from books ACTUALLY DO IT.

I have to say I had to take a short break to laugh maniacally at the whole 'let's challenge the Volturi to a singing contest' thing. It was implausible, turned out to be utterly pointless and simply provided a vehicle for you to post lyrics in horrible formatting without credit to the artists.

The lists of names were interminably boring. If you have to list every character's name because you're worried your readers will forget which characters are where then your storytelling in incredibly poor.

I feel the need to focus in on the fact the fight sequence (which I assume was supposed to be the finale of the story) was summarised in a paragraph. There was no tension, it was boring.

I really have nothing to say apart from Shakespeare REALLY didn't deserve what you've done to him.