|Reviews for Our First Time|
| Paradoxalpoised chapter 6 . 6/29/2011
My dear 'phfina,
I was reading this chapter thinking it is very much you. It's always you in your chapters but I mean this one is really interesting of your own reflection.
I liked how you show Rosalie's growing process, because it is just that. She is growing and learning what relationship means, and how equal footing is possible.
She is always so harsh on herself, just like you are I guess. It's quite fascinating to see that Rosalie has the right analysis of a situation pretty much every time. She is capable of understanding the dynamic of things incredibly well yet she always blames herself in her inadequacy to reach perfection.
Isn't it exhausting to be a perfectionist?
I also like how you wrote Bella and Esme in this chapter, it really feels like they interact with Rosalie in order to deliver this fitting reflection on equal footing and how there needs to be two to tango.
I will join Esme and say "Brava!"
| Paradoxalpoised chapter 5 . 6/28/2011
This chapter is... Total crackage ! (Yes I know it's not a real English word, but it works out.)
"Um, while I'm … you know … could you go downstairs and tell Esme that she doesn't have to cook me breakfast? I'll just have a pop-tart or something, okay?"
Now that was seriously brilliant. Rosalie in Bella's champion in a ferocious battle against Esme over pop-tarts.
Did I ever told you that you are brilliant? (And beautiful lol and :p)
This idea is really brilliant and I thought once again that you are revealing your characters in a way that is beside hilarious, pretty agile.
Rosalie's attitude is really what I appreciated the most, because no matter what happens, she doesn't back down from her true self nor from her love to Bella. She defends the girl, she stands up for her and most of all she of integrity.
Integrity. Do you know how rare this quality is? It's beautiful, and rare and the price for it gets higher and higher every day that passes in our age of madness.
Even in her extremes she is still of integrity and I really love that about your Rosalie.
Oh you also taught me a new word in this chapter: asinine.
The first time I read this chapter, I googled Twinkies, because I have never had Twinkies. I have been perplex about trying them though all American people I have discussed Twinkies with are unanimous, you have to try Twinkies to fully integrate American culture. It's like calling soda 'pop' and eating hotdogs when you watch baseball, and not being allowed to like both the Red Sox and the Yankees.
So I will have to try eventually.
I loved Esme's intervention and Alice's as well, they both have quite interesting personalities, and you explore them very well, giving us details here and there. I can't begin to tell you how Esme got me laughing so hard in this chapter.
But really what I loved the most was the part when Rosalie is doubting herself and her self-esteem goes down the drain because she thinks Bella doesn't find her attractive or anything positive.
And then she has to correct her grammar.
So yeah, the whole existential doubt, it was cute, yet sad too.
Again an excellent chapter, and I am so glad there is a next one. Thanks for that.
Be good Little One,
| BellaFields chapter 9 . 6/7/2011
Congratulations on the story ! i thoroughly enjoyed reading it (:
Bella & Rosalie are such a great pair in a totally unorthodox way :D
onto reading the next story now :p
| Paradoxalpoised chapter 4 . 5/18/2011
*sigh*... Sweet 'phfina,
I love this chapter. I am just so touched by this insinuating ever so authentic and sincere tenderness that you have lovingly placed in your Rosalie's heart.
She loves besides herself, what else could she do really?
And your little innocent sweet Bella? She is handling her Rosalie so well...
This chapter feels like a tender caress, I enjoy it very much. You have this store well under control, I am impressed with your style and your choice of words. You are very efficient and quite classy, I appreciate it.
There is something so gentle about this love you're writing for us.
| Paradoxalpoised chapter 3 . 5/18/2011
"Never mind the touchy blond..." *smiles*...
This chapter was simply adorable. And I can so see you "EEEEEEEKKK!" and turning around in that dress of yours, wanting to look pretty for your Rosalie. And I can so see you being a Rosalie, so merciless in your criticism and then dismissing the first meaning of the inevitable question: "What to you think?" to give the true. Answer of a noble loving heart.
I love you, no matter what you wear, no matter bald or banal, I love you for you and how hard you work at pleasing me and all I ever want is your happiness.
Miss top... Rosalie, dazzled, by her sweet little Bella who went into a great deal of effort to please her Top. I like the sincerity and truth of Rosalie's feelings and her reasoning. I really like how she takes responsability for herself, her half of the way, her love who knows her better than she ever thought possible.
You pulled it off quite nicely...
| Paradoxalpoised chapter 2 . 5/18/2011
My dear 'phfina,
See you always do this to me, I read a chapter, I am a bit perplex about things, and BAM... You get back at me I don't even know how.
I say 'me' here but I mean it like you know, the reader who might feel like I felt last chapter 'cause you didn't even know me when you wrote this.
So what I am trying to say is: this chapter is perfect. Actually, it's perfectly just.
The tone, the progression, the angst, the message and meaning, how you answer some very tricky questions on the whole dynamic of the Cullen family, the Swan family, and the girls couple.
Renee's reaction, or Charlie's, for instance, it's good, very human, and very plausible, very coherent with the books. And I might not go for that style, but it works out just fine.
I love Rosalie inner monologues, I love how you actually succeed at rendering what her process is, in tune with who she is, so justly.
See that is why you are brilliant. Not just when you write your stories, but also in your emails, your blog, all the things you write. You might be wrong, immature, full of yourself, perfectly merciless, or adorably cute, caring, enlightening and delivering breathtakingly honest truth, but you always do it with an articulation so heavy with meaning and everything else you have cooking in you stainless steel machine which never stops, so spontaneously just to your own character, that is what makes me say you are one of the most brilliantly tortured girl I have ever met.
You can *preen*, you little genius you, and please please please, write. You would not be able to take your magic away, even if you wanted to.
Just write, the he'll with everything else or everybody's feeling on the matter, just write, the rest will follow. It will follow because you write just, just like someone with the perfect ear can find the just harmony in every sound, or someone with the perfect eye can see the just structure if every thing.
You, my dear, have a magical conscious that can render justly what you amazingly articulate so genuinely, just like a painter, or a photographer of talent, there is nothing you can write badly, even if you were to write wrongly.
| Paradoxalpoised chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
This is quite intriguing. You sound different in this chapter. More guarded maybe. It's a first chapter and you're building, maybe I amused to bolder you, though Bella's shaved head might be bold enough.
I do appreciate your Alice. Did I ever tell you ho much I like you writing Alice as well? I think you have the jut of her, and you give her depth, much more than I have seen even in stories where she is the principal character.
The wit is here, the Rosalie touch and sardonic comments, the disdain and haughtiness, it's all here. Yet I feel you are not liberated enough in here, maybe it's because you are coming from JT's story. maybe you were just nervous about your new baby.
I do love it, don't run with my words, the fight between Alice and Rosalie was lovely, and as I said I enjoy very much your approach of Alice in here.
Ah! I know what is different! The angst! That's what. Rosalie is more introspective though she reflects on things, and you tell us something is in the making (as in Bella and Rosalie), and you introduce all of the cast and events just fine. Rosalie is not decisive here, not as rigid as usual. The angst the lighter. It feels different you see?
I like it, more room. For the characters to be and develop.
On to the next chapter...
| djsmith10186 chapter 9 . 2/13/2011
I do hope you come and finish this story. It's really good.
| naomily4ever chapter 1 . 12/6/2010
esta es mi historia favorita la incontre cuando buscaba mas historias sobre rosalie y bella
| Wither chapter 9 . 8/10/2010
Poor Jazz. Love the bella/rose action.
| TheMonkeySong chapter 9 . 8/10/2010
So here comes the epic review-a-thon I promised. I know its a few days late but Im going to try to catch up on all the reviewing I need to do for your stories tonight! We'll have to see how it goes.
My New Review for CH8: I just reread this chapter. and because of the experiences I had in my month long sabbatical, I realized that this chapter is GOLDEN. It is such a sweet and honest and sweet moment between Rose and Bella. You really showed Rose's ability to worry and care in this chapter. She believes she is truly a selfish creature but this chapter shows her to be different, she is so concerned about Bella that she does something as silly to Bella but is such a big step for a vamp, as take care of her bug bites. even the one on her neck over her pulse point! I also think it was brilliant to show Rose as being a bit insecure of herself in the beginning. She puts on this front as being all tough, cold, confident, heartless beauty but when she's with her Bella, She is anything but cold and heartless and just a wee bit less confident (she's still gorgeous tho!)
Ok. Now on to chapter nine:
I love how you portray Alice as being a perverted little voyeur, it cracked me up!
Another thing I love about your now epic of Bella and Rose's story (which pt.1 has yet to be finished BaR) is that you don't put the characters in a box that SM created and many (many many many way too many) FF authors put them into too. The characters have soo many layers and so many dimensions it really brings them off the page. Favorite line of this Chapter: 'if I had thrown Bella to the ground and humped her senseless."
ok my review-a-thon shall carry on later tonight or tomorrow! so Be ready!
| DesireeStorm chapter 9 . 8/8/2010
Ahhh ch 9 ended so sady. Poor Jazz. Though the kiss/bit scene was wycked. cant wait to see how the girls make it work though i know eddie-boy is off and about, wheres Emmitt?
| Kiara Mysteria chapter 9 . 7/30/2010
Come on now you have to give Bella a little bit more credit than that. She has more than enough backbone to stand up to James but she backs down to Alice! And come on even if she hadn't been expecting to be bitten by Rosalie she has enough knowledge of vampires to know that to be anywhere near a human's neck that vampire has to have alot of control. She seems like a little kid in this story.
Good chap though. Jasper seems like a depressing character to write.
| Kiara Mysteria chapter 7 . 7/30/2010
That is freakin' hilarious that Rosalie thought Bella was all into the kiss, which she probably was before she damn near died, but instead she wasn't even breathing!
That's right girl bring out that Righteous Rosalie if somebody gets outta line! Where do you live? Texas?
| Sook03 chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
Sweet, sharp irony.