|Reviews for Our First Time|
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 9 . 7/4/2011
My Dear 'phfina,
I am not confident about reviewing this chapter. I was going to say I don't know how, but then you'd get all 'phfina on me telling me how I do know because my brain and mind always know and ...
So, this chapter leaves me perplex. I have read it several times, and I feel the same each time. It's well written, sensitive, emotional, smart and very absorbing. I think it's quite good when you read something and you feel absorbed, you get really into it.
The chapter is intense, and I do feel for Jasper, poor Jasper. I also see how he does not regret the lives he's taken, but only that he is disappointing and not up to Cullen's standard. I see how he is not denying his nature.
I can never help but wonder if Alice ever slipped. And also if love conquers all. Alice seems to think that it does. After all she was ok with 1, she was ok with 56, slightly disturbed at a 156 but you know... One more, one less...
Jasper and his inadequacy feeling, feelings really, trying so hard for the woman he loves. I never felt as much as now how he is the one who doesn't belong the most. Maybe that is the part I always feel so sad about and that stings.
I will remain hopeful that you come back to this story, to all of them really, and until then, I will carry on in my mission.
Be well Darling,
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 8 . 7/2/2011
Bonjour dear 'phfina,
This chapter was quite something. I am not sure I can pinpoint it as I would like to.
Rosalie and her new sense of panic. I thought you conveyed that very strongly, and accurately. Fear for the one you love, maybe it is one of the first sign of true love. The fact that it is disconcerting to her is so very Rosalie, her observation on her own condition of being in love. I do love the inner dialogues you have Rosalie muse within herself.
The approach of time was quite intriguing. You explain here that Rosalie can count on her force, or the passage of time to solve her issues. I never thought Rosalie would: one have the patience to let time pass, second that she would be of the wait-and-see type. I don't think see is, but maybe are you?
I don't disagree that time passing can solve issue, actually think it 'calms' them. Of course in the absolute you are talking about, time resolves things, miss rational, but in a human consideration... Yes I know, she's a vampire. Still.
Rosalie's relief was the cutest thing, and Bella didn't get it lol... I guess I can understand how hard it is not to take Rosalie literally, she reminds in that, of a certain 'nothing of a little' girl that I know...
Yes Bella, I'd feel woozy too, that is now that I know what woozy is. And another one for my 'expending my English vocabulary' mission. Thanks :p!
Now I hate flying bugs. I am a mosquito gastronomic restaurant. If there is a mosquito, or a hornet, or anything that flies and bites, it's for me. Can I please have a Rosalie? I promise to keep my tongue in my mouth. Scout honor! (Though I was never a scout.) The kissing and bug itching treatment was... it was something else.
I enjoyed Rosalie enjoying her eager little Bella. Bella kissing a goddess, forgetting to breathe so good it feels, of course she is eager. It was sweet, and loving, relaxed, soft, tender. The whole moment was sexy, playful, serious, and I could feel their union, the intensity of the simplicity of them being together. How comfortable they were, even in the unknown and surprise.
Thoughtful Rosalie, beautiful Rosalie, so in love and vulnerable. Bella is equal to herself, much more adjustable somehow, but Rosalie is growing, and I like to watch how you write it. I like it because she took the step, she decided to have something happen and now she is responsible for herself and her choice, and she is learning, growing, in a new process she had never experienced before. She is also pleasantly surprised.
It feels good... Doesn't it?
Thank you very much for this chapter Little One.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 7 . 7/1/2011
The Zanshin. ou always teach me plenty of things I don't know. That one I had never heard of before. It took me a minute to get it, but you did a nice job out of explaining it without explaining it.
The joke. I loved it. I personally think Rosalie is extremely amusing, and she has a great humor. In French we would say she is an amazing pince-sans-rire. I have no idea what it translate into but it's something around the fact the she gets you to laugh without laughing herself or trying to be funny. She is so like that, and you are so in character, it's quite pleasant.
I enjoyed that she tried to teach Bella. Actually I am impressed with how much she is trying to "do" for Bella to feel loved and happy. She so 'woman on a mission'. I am afraid for her own feelings though. I was telling you in my previous review that she was of integrity, and in this chapter she is lying through her teeth. Do you think Rosalie will ever get over her own fortress of solitude and confinement and be able to tell the ones she loves when she is not okay.
Like when she stepped into the light in your chapter?
The kiss. Complete surrender, it must be an amazing feeling. I am impressed with Bella. I understand Rosalie. I liked their communion, even if it is dangerous.
The end notes. The whole mothering thing around Rosalie is quite complex. She is a complex character and she has a real serious issue with both her 'parents', humans ad vampires. I think, however, that you will do wonderful at this.
And your fair warning. Righteous 'phfina stating her piece of mind. Good for you sweetheart, you are right, and you are right to say it. I like it when you get all vindictive like that, it's amusing and informative. It's also definitely honorable and I thoroughly support your stand.
I like the end. I can so see Rosalie rolling her eyes... I smiled.
Thank you for this chapter, it's a good one, again.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 6 . 6/29/2011
My dear 'phfina,
I was reading this chapter thinking it is very much you. It's always you in your chapters but I mean this one is really interesting of your own reflection.
I liked how you show Rosalie's growing process, because it is just that. She is growing and learning what relationship means, and how equal footing is possible.
She is always so harsh on herself, just like you are I guess. It's quite fascinating to see that Rosalie has the right analysis of a situation pretty much every time. She is capable of understanding the dynamic of things incredibly well yet she always blames herself in her inadequacy to reach perfection.
Isn't it exhausting to be a perfectionist?
I also like how you wrote Bella and Esme in this chapter, it really feels like they interact with Rosalie in order to deliver this fitting reflection on equal footing and how there needs to be two to tango.
I will join Esme and say "Brava!"
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 5 . 6/28/2011
This chapter is... Total crackage ! (Yes I know it's not a real English word, but it works out.)
"Um, while I'm … you know … could you go downstairs and tell Esme that she doesn't have to cook me breakfast? I'll just have a pop-tart or something, okay?"
Now that was seriously brilliant. Rosalie in Bella's champion in a ferocious battle against Esme over pop-tarts.
Did I ever told you that you are brilliant? (And beautiful lol and :p)
This idea is really brilliant and I thought once again that you are revealing your characters in a way that is beside hilarious, pretty agile.
Rosalie's attitude is really what I appreciated the most, because no matter what happens, she doesn't back down from her true self nor from her love to Bella. She defends the girl, she stands up for her and most of all she of integrity.
Integrity. Do you know how rare this quality is? It's beautiful, and rare and the price for it gets higher and higher every day that passes in our age of madness.
Even in her extremes she is still of integrity and I really love that about your Rosalie.
Oh you also taught me a new word in this chapter: asinine.
The first time I read this chapter, I googled Twinkies, because I have never had Twinkies. I have been perplex about trying them though all American people I have discussed Twinkies with are unanimous, you have to try Twinkies to fully integrate American culture. It's like calling soda 'pop' and eating hotdogs when you watch baseball, and not being allowed to like both the Red Sox and the Yankees.
So I will have to try eventually.
I loved Esme's intervention and Alice's as well, they both have quite interesting personalities, and you explore them very well, giving us details here and there. I can't begin to tell you how Esme got me laughing so hard in this chapter.
But really what I loved the most was the part when Rosalie is doubting herself and her self-esteem goes down the drain because she thinks Bella doesn't find her attractive or anything positive.
And then she has to correct her grammar.
So yeah, the whole existential doubt, it was cute, yet sad too.
Again an excellent chapter, and I am so glad there is a next one. Thanks for that.
Be good Little One,
| KarouAz chapter 9 . 6/7/2011
Congratulations on the story ! i thoroughly enjoyed reading it (:
Bella & Rosalie are such a great pair in a totally unorthodox way :D
onto reading the next story now :p
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 4 . 5/18/2011
*sigh*... Sweet 'phfina,
I love this chapter. I am just so touched by this insinuating ever so authentic and sincere tenderness that you have lovingly placed in your Rosalie's heart.
She loves besides herself, what else could she do really?
And your little innocent sweet Bella? She is handling her Rosalie so well...
This chapter feels like a tender caress, I enjoy it very much. You have this store well under control, I am impressed with your style and your choice of words. You are very efficient and quite classy, I appreciate it.
There is something so gentle about this love you're writing for us.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 3 . 5/18/2011
"Never mind the touchy blond..." *smiles*...
This chapter was simply adorable. And I can so see you "EEEEEEEKKK!" and turning around in that dress of yours, wanting to look pretty for your Rosalie. And I can so see you being a Rosalie, so merciless in your criticism and then dismissing the first meaning of the inevitable question: "What to you think?" to give the true. Answer of a noble loving heart.
I love you, no matter what you wear, no matter bald or banal, I love you for you and how hard you work at pleasing me and all I ever want is your happiness.
Miss top... Rosalie, dazzled, by her sweet little Bella who went into a great deal of effort to please her Top. I like the sincerity and truth of Rosalie's feelings and her reasoning. I really like how she takes responsability for herself, her half of the way, her love who knows her better than she ever thought possible.
You pulled it off quite nicely...
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 2 . 5/18/2011
My dear 'phfina,
See you always do this to me, I read a chapter, I am a bit perplex about things, and BAM... You get back at me I don't even know how.
I say 'me' here but I mean it like you know, the reader who might feel like I felt last chapter 'cause you didn't even know me when you wrote this.
So what I am trying to say is: this chapter is perfect. Actually, it's perfectly just.
The tone, the progression, the angst, the message and meaning, how you answer some very tricky questions on the whole dynamic of the Cullen family, the Swan family, and the girls couple.
Renee's reaction, or Charlie's, for instance, it's good, very human, and very plausible, very coherent with the books. And I might not go for that style, but it works out just fine.
I love Rosalie inner monologues, I love how you actually succeed at rendering what her process is, in tune with who she is, so justly.
See that is why you are brilliant. Not just when you write your stories, but also in your emails, your blog, all the things you write. You might be wrong, immature, full of yourself, perfectly merciless, or adorably cute, caring, enlightening and delivering breathtakingly honest truth, but you always do it with an articulation so heavy with meaning and everything else you have cooking in you stainless steel machine which never stops, so spontaneously just to your own character, that is what makes me say you are one of the most brilliantly tortured girl I have ever met.
You can *preen*, you little genius you, and please please please, write. You would not be able to take your magic away, even if you wanted to.
Just write, the he'll with everything else or everybody's feeling on the matter, just write, the rest will follow. It will follow because you write just, just like someone with the perfect ear can find the just harmony in every sound, or someone with the perfect eye can see the just structure if every thing.
You, my dear, have a magical conscious that can render justly what you amazingly articulate so genuinely, just like a painter, or a photographer of talent, there is nothing you can write badly, even if you were to write wrongly.
| Deleted Account No Comment chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
This is quite intriguing. You sound different in this chapter. More guarded maybe. It's a first chapter and you're building, maybe I amused to bolder you, though Bella's shaved head might be bold enough.
I do appreciate your Alice. Did I ever tell you ho much I like you writing Alice as well? I think you have the jut of her, and you give her depth, much more than I have seen even in stories where she is the principal character.
The wit is here, the Rosalie touch and sardonic comments, the disdain and haughtiness, it's all here. Yet I feel you are not liberated enough in here, maybe it's because you are coming from JT's story. maybe you were just nervous about your new baby.
I do love it, don't run with my words, the fight between Alice and Rosalie was lovely, and as I said I enjoy very much your approach of Alice in here.
Ah! I know what is different! The angst! That's what. Rosalie is more introspective though she reflects on things, and you tell us something is in the making (as in Bella and Rosalie), and you introduce all of the cast and events just fine. Rosalie is not decisive here, not as rigid as usual. The angst the lighter. It feels different you see?
I like it, more room. For the characters to be and develop.
On to the next chapter...
| djsmith10186 chapter 9 . 2/13/2011
I do hope you come and finish this story. It's really good.
| naomily4ever chapter 1 . 12/6/2010
esta es mi historia favorita la incontre cuando buscaba mas historias sobre rosalie y bella
| Wither chapter 9 . 8/10/2010
Poor Jazz. Love the bella/rose action.
| TheMonkeySong chapter 9 . 8/10/2010
So here comes the epic review-a-thon I promised. I know its a few days late but Im going to try to catch up on all the reviewing I need to do for your stories tonight! We'll have to see how it goes.
My New Review for CH8: I just reread this chapter. and because of the experiences I had in my month long sabbatical, I realized that this chapter is GOLDEN. It is such a sweet and honest and sweet moment between Rose and Bella. You really showed Rose's ability to worry and care in this chapter. She believes she is truly a selfish creature but this chapter shows her to be different, she is so concerned about Bella that she does something as silly to Bella but is such a big step for a vamp, as take care of her bug bites. even the one on her neck over her pulse point! I also think it was brilliant to show Rose as being a bit insecure of herself in the beginning. She puts on this front as being all tough, cold, confident, heartless beauty but when she's with her Bella, She is anything but cold and heartless and just a wee bit less confident (she's still gorgeous tho!)
Ok. Now on to chapter nine:
I love how you portray Alice as being a perverted little voyeur, it cracked me up!
Another thing I love about your now epic of Bella and Rose's story (which pt.1 has yet to be finished BaR) is that you don't put the characters in a box that SM created and many (many many many way too many) FF authors put them into too. The characters have soo many layers and so many dimensions it really brings them off the page. Favorite line of this Chapter: 'if I had thrown Bella to the ground and humped her senseless."
ok my review-a-thon shall carry on later tonight or tomorrow! so Be ready!
| DesireeStorm chapter 9 . 8/8/2010
Ahhh ch 9 ended so sady. Poor Jazz. Though the kiss/bit scene was wycked. cant wait to see how the girls make it work though i know eddie-boy is off and about, wheres Emmitt?