|Reviews for Demons Within|
| Guest chapter 40 . 5/5
Hm. The reason why I read this story was because its a narusasu mpreg...but I think I would have enjoyed this story if it wasn't too focused on Naruto. There's a very clear bias towards him. Too much emphasis on how he much he's loved by everyone else and what suffering he has been through. He's basically your typical Mary-sue. His childhood wasn't even that bad in the manga. He was ignored, sure, but he's never abused physically. I never got why fandom loves overplaying his "I'm a poor boy" image. It annoys me. On the other hand, you ignored Sasuke's childhood and sufferings (which I think it's much worst than Naruto's. He had to watch his clan die over and over. Traumatising). I think if you're gonna focus on the tragic past of Naruto's, you shouldn't ignore Sasuke's. He hasn't got it easy either.
I also didn't like how you make Sasuke a pervert. I don't know where you got that idea from (cliche sasunaru fics maybe?), but it's one thing that annoys me about this fandom. And about the obvious bias towards Naruto, it's also very clear here by how you make Sasuke initiate everything in their relationship. He's the one who came on to Naruto, confess to Naruto while Naruto's honestly just a passive wimp which isn't like him at all. If anything, Naruto would be the one initiating everything. It's always Sasuke thinking how amazing Naruto looks/is, but rarely do I read about that from Naruto about Sasuke.
So an advice from me would be easy on the Naruto glorifying please.
| AzucenaXshadows chapter 40 . 1/7/2015
This was really interesting to read.
Thank u for sharing.
| WitchL0v3r chapter 18 . 10/22/2013
YES I FUCKING LOVE YOU! Sorry Rose. :(
| WitchL0v3r chapter 12 . 10/22/2013
Rooooossssseeee why? Why no lemon? ; ; I still wuv y'alls story...That's totally correct spelling.
| WitchL0v3r chapter 11 . 10/22/2013
How do you hover two feet in the air at once? Wouldn't that be floating, especially if it's the heel?
| WitchL0v3r chapter 10 . 10/22/2013
YES! SENSUAL NARUTO AND SASUKE SMEXING RULES LIKE FUCKING HEAVEN!
| WitchL0v3r chapter 1 . 10/22/2013
That's southern english!
| kimmynosubaku chapter 4 . 10/19/2013
awwww...kyuubi is such a sweet heart...the part about yanking naruto's shirt caused me and all of my friend to cooo...
| takuya chapter 40 . 8/23/2013
oh that was a great chapter i really enjoyed it
| medusa85 chapter 40 . 7/29/2013
Loved the story though I wish the chapters were longer. :)
| Vanillamoo chapter 40 . 7/5/2013
Awwww i really loved it that few chapters with all the lemon scenes especially! Thank you for writing it!
| thecartoongirl22 chapter 40 . 7/3/2013
Good story I loved it! normally i hate mpreg but you did great, you gave reasons for a male being pregnant and didn't have a male pushing a child out of there ass. it was very descriptive and detailed i enjoyed it very much. i loved the ending it was soo cute XD
| Nica8860 chapter 40 . 7/3/2013
Thank you for the very long fanfic. I enjoyed it very much, seeing a happy Kyuubi made me happy and I was thought it was fun to see you try to end the story. The male pregnancy was a little surprising and the smut was lost somewhere but it was very entertaining.
| TigerDemonOwnz chapter 40 . 7/3/2013
nice nice nice
| Normal Doesn't Exist chapter 40 . 6/28/2013
I just read through this whole story today and it is really great! The only thing I see wrong is some of the names like Sakura is a Haruno not Haruna and Ino's last name is Yamanaka. Those are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head.