|Reviews for When We Say Forever|
| megycool2 chapter 1 . 11/6/2012
| twistedfate13 chapter 29 . 5/6/2012
Well that was a very lovely story. It made my heart ache and cry in all the right places but also warmed it just the same. It was beautiful writing and I just loved the characters of Alice and Dominic, so infinitesimally perfect for each other and so intricate. Fantastic job :)
| Ashlyn Darke chapter 29 . 4/29/2012
This was a well written read, and followed Bible lore well for the most part. I was surprised that you didn't mention Shuyler's status as one of the incorruptible, as it was revealed in the series that she carried the mark of heaven on her arm, though perhaps that didn't fit with your plot.
While I thought it was well written, I did feel that it was far too Alice-centric, and it made her out to be more of a Mary-Sue than a lovable character. The repeated mentioning of how lovable and awe-worthy Alice/Uriel was detracted from the overall plot and the development of the other characters. It would have also helped to have balanced Alice out more. You repeatedly mentioned that Alice and Allegra went between mothering one another and being sisterly, but too little did Uriel go to Gabrielle, making Uriel seem far more powerful and stable despite being early in her cycle. It was good to give Gabrielle faults, but the emphasis on them was a tad overdone.
Those who read this story for the pairing of Shuyler and Jack, as well as the other characters and pairings from the series may be a tad disappointed with how little their characters were further developed in favor of the introduction of Uriel and Raphael who had little to no development themselves.
I apologize if I seem rude, or even overly critical. What initially drew me to this story was the continuation of Shuyler's quest in a different way and the search for Uriel and Raphael was an interesting twist, but it was not a difficult search, nor was their hunt for the gates overly eventful. They were meant to destroy the gates, however they put off this quest after merely finding one other, and it was around then that I felt the story lost the majority of its momentum in favor of trivial events. The well done descriptions and my own curiosity were enough to prompt me to read through to the end, but I lost much of my love for the story as it lost it's focus on the quest to vanquishing Lucifer and pushed Shuyler, Bliss, Mimi, Allegra, and even Lucifer aside in favor of Alice and Dominic. As you said in the final author's note, you had realized how it seemed a bit too Alice-centric, and I apologize if it seems that I am merely thrusting this old fault back in your face, but it was a glaring fault, and the only thing that kept me from thoroughly enjoying what started as a plot bound for greatness.
Keep writing. It is the only way forward.
| Alice Moscovitzhutchersonforce chapter 9 . 2/5/2012
You need way more loveydoveyness from jack and sky! But otherwise good
| Avalonia chapter 3 . 5/1/2011
The Archive schene was fine. Don't worry!
| Avalonia chapter 3 . 5/1/2011
Love the S/J fluff. Also, I thought that the names you made for the Lord and Lady, and their daughter was extremely creative.
Oh, and I also wanted to say thai I love your HP/CC romances. I actually thought that thepairing was stupid until I read this. No kidding.
| Avalonia chapter 2 . 5/1/2011
I'm writing a review for every chapter, so here goes...
Same advice. Be yourself. Don't worry about what other's think because, frankly, they have no lives. Conductive criticism is OK, but...
Great chapter, by the way! I loved the memory of R/U! He sounds like a character.A hot character!
| Avalonia chapter 1 . 5/1/2011
I loved this story! I was THE best BB fanfic I have ever read, and trust me, I've read most, if not all, of them.
Ok, so, I normally hate J/S fanfics. I stumbled upon this one while reading through different stories, to decide what types of characters are there ect. I read a few pages, and was captivated. You figured out how to use Mellissa's style, yet you still made it your own.
You also gave your OC characters depth, which usually does not happen in Fanfiction. I find they are usually flakes, or nobodies. But I digress.
My one piece of advice, as a fellow writer, would be to stop getting nervous about what other people think. People who use cruel criticisms just don't have a life. Relax. Be yourself.
Avalonia, Archangel of Love
| ChocolateChipCookiesXxo chapter 29 . 3/6/2011
AHHHH I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER EVER UPDATE I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS STORY CAUSE OF THAT! CANT WAIT TO READD THE SEQUEL AND PREQUEL! sorry i didnt update sooner cause i usually update on the last chapter so i would know what the stories about! but anyways its a great story i avsoulutely love it! but i would like it if there was more of sky and jack! and yeah! but great story! and also i hate isabelle and alices parents how could they worship lucifer? mahn they are traitors to their children! ahhhhhhhh!
| Afrenchgirl chapter 29 . 3/4/2011
Hey, I've just read your story and it's very good I love your character's personnality, Alice made me laugh a lot, I can't wait to be able to read the sequel, for now I'm going to read the prequel, have a good day D
| cherryblossom1031 chapter 29 . 2/21/2011
luv ur story!
i cant wait to read ur prequel, and sequel! u c, i just finished readin masqerade, revelations, and the van alen legacy, so i decided 2 go online, and find some good FF'S to read! and urs really caught my eye! again great job:)
| deltagrl chapter 29 . 1/18/2011
I couldn't help but fall in love with this story. Not only did I laugh but I cried. Cant wait for the sequel.
| stargazer235 chapter 29 . 12/21/2010
I just finished your story and i really loved it! I can't wait for you to put up the prequel/sequel. :)
| Victoria chapter 11 . 12/1/2010
I'm reading your story for the first time and just wanted to let you know I think it's really great :) i hate to say it but I might actually enjoy it even more than the 5th instalment of the series :( I really like the characters you came up with. I love Alice and Dominic is really entertaining to read. Keep up the good work!
| WindyCityGirl chapter 29 . 11/22/2010
Brilliant! I really loved the ending, how it closed one part of the story but opened another. Can't wait for the sequel