|Reviews for Price of Victory|
| Syberian Quest chapter 14 . 12/19/2012
Really loving the brother-sister dynamics between Ian and Natalie here. :) That was really one the biggest things that bummed me out about the new series; everything they built up seemed to disappear and start over at square one. So double yay for your family dynamics!
I'm curious, though; when you mentioned the double murders and fire, were you referring to Arthur and Hope? At this point, I don't think Ian and Natalie knew about that... unless this is some other fire, which is entirely plausible because I'm assuming Isabel likes killing people.
Anyway. Looking forward to the next chapter, which looks like it will involve goodbyes. Or maybe it won't and this is all a ploy. If so, I've completely fallen for it. ;)
Thanks for another lovely chapter! :)
| Syberian Quest chapter 13 . 12/19/2012
Summer, I love the story's cover! always thought the guy from Victorious whose name escapes me looked like Ian, and that girl is a gorgeous Natalie. Okay, I just have to heart this again. 3
And now I'm going to feel guilty for being such a late reviewer. :( You know, I actually wrote that first part with all the hearts about a month ago and saved it on my email so I could put it on my review when I had the time. I just love it that much. ;)
A lot of action in this chapter, for sure! You write actions scenes really well. I think this is your genre, Summer. :)
There was one sentence a little off, but that was all I noticed. "Well, that figures since he didn't have tackle anyone" I think it should be "that figured since he didn't have to tackle anyone."
Anyway, the part that really caught my eye was where Ian told Irina to "get them out of Russia." In the book, it seemed like an indicator that he liked Amy, but with Janice right behind him looking horrified... Haha, it almost seems like he was merciful because of peer pressure, not love. Hmmm...
Again, loving how well you're making everybody fit in behind the scenes. I love this amazing detail-oriented stuff. It makes my day! :)
Off to the next chapter and still loving the cover 3
| aramiey chapter 14 . 11/13/2012
Goodbye Forever...what an ominous name. (Did I spell that right?)
Here, when you say:
"Really, you shouldn't let yourself get so phased by my sister."
I think you mean fazed, not phased. :P
*cue the creepy music*
| aramiey chapter 13 . 11/13/2012
YAY! You updated! *randomly hugs Summer who stares at the random stranger virtually hugging her*
Lol, I'm calm. Very calm now. *assumes meditative position*
You forgot a quotation mark here:
"There was only one man. He can't go after all of us at the same time," Jack reasoned at rapid pace. There are trees all along the side of the road. If we can disappear into those, we should be fine."
"There was only one man. He can't go after all of us at the same time," Jack reasoned at rapid pace. "There are trees all along the side of the road. If we can disappear into those, we should be fine."
Can't wait to read the next chapter...and I CAN read the next chapter. Yippee!
*WARNING: HYPERNESS AND UN-WOLF-NESS IN THIS REVIEW DUE TO CHOCOLATE*
| Volcanic Lily chapter 14 . 11/9/2012
Another good chapter, and a very quick update! It really is nice to see how much Ian and Natalie care about each other, even though they usually aren't so inclined to admit it. Looking forward to more. :)
| music4evah chapter 14 . 11/9/2012
I like your story, Summer.(: The action is so great. And I must say, that moment when she got the shoes from Ian? Perfect.(:
One thing that bugged me: The whole incident had made Natalie care more about her brother. Even in her groggy state she knew that what he had said on the boardwalk in Kyrgyzstan was true. They were a team and wouldn't get anywhere without each other's help.
That paragraph seemed so. . . rushed, I guess? I don't know, but it somehow just seemed so insincere compared to everything that had just happened. Only saying it didn't make the message hit home for me like it should have. I wish you'd shown us more how much things had changed in perspective for Natalie through her actions or dialogue. You make it sound like a summary or the thesis of an essay here, frankly.
But I loved a lot of this, honestly. I'm just curious as to how fast Natalie can really recover and what this will mean for the rest of the story. I mean, you're trying to keep everything within cannon, right? I don't remember any mention of Natalie struggling with an injury. . . I'm really intrigued as to where you're going with this.
| Volcanic Lily chapter 13 . 11/3/2012
Wow. That was an intense chapter. I'd really missed this story; glad you updated. Poor Natalie: it's really true, no matter how mad we get at our brothers or how useless we feel like they are, when it comes down to it, they really do become the first people we look to when we're really in trouble.
...Wow, I'm growing sappy. Anyway, nice work, and I really can't wait to see what happens next! :)
| aramiey chapter 12 . 8/18/2012
Nice job! It's well written and I love all the story twists! Keep it up!
Wait, you're Summer right? From FGTC?
| magicdemi-god223 chapter 12 . 7/15/2012
Hey! I wondering when you'd update this. It's really good! like, seriously good! PLEASE update this soon :)
| Syberian Quest chapter 12 . 2/9/2012
An update /and/ a dedication? Seriously, Summer, you are just too sweet. And I really did mean all that I said. :) [I wouldn't say I'm exactly "famous," though... Now /or/ then.]
I was really excited to get that little alert in my inbox about a week ago, although I got a bit too busy to review... It was a really action-packed chapter, and you left it off with that little bit of suspense because now we all wonder what it is Petrov wants with the Viners and what exactly he has in store for Irina...
I especially love how you incorporate all those little details from the books into your chapters. That's probably one of my favourite things about this story. Keeping all the little details and finding a way to intricately weave them together is my secret pleasure. ;)
Everything was quick and you definitely didn't dilly-dally on any unnecessary stuff, which is definitely important with action scenes. I probably would have kept things a bit slower in some parts, but then I have the terrible tendency to go a bit overboard in that way. There were a few dialogue scenes where the action and the words might have been better separated, as in, I would have rearranged some of the paragraphing to separate the parts that weren't really that connected.
Your grammar was flawless as far as I could tell, although I think FF messed up your spacing between the several of the italicized words and scrunched them all together. It does that sometimes, which is really annoying... But at least it's not our fault! :)
Ooh, and before I forget, I loved your bickering. Instant score. :) Another reason you're so good at the Kabras is because you come up with such IC one-liners that are come across both humorous and self-centered, which really adds some extra charm to it all. :) I kind of remember a few places where you didn't use contractions, although it would have made it a little more natural, but that's sort of just a random afterthought.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to another update! I'm really curious as to how you're going to tie everything in together and how you'll incorporate all those little book details in, like Mary-Todd taking the phone from Hamilton and yelling encouragement from the sidelines [I particularly enjoyed that for some reason, the fact that you showed that from the other side of the action.]
So, yeah. In summary: update soon. :)
| Illuminating Flames chapter 1 . 2/5/2012
Interesting. An FF in which Ian actually wishes he listened to Isabel. That's unique!
| music4evah chapter 12 . 2/3/2012
Ooh, that last bit was ominous and exciting.(: I like the interaction between the Kabras and the Viners- they're similar yet different, and they sort of bring out both the best and the worst in each other I think.
You were really good at keeping this at a fast pace, although the fight scene did seem a bit off. I don't have much experience with that, though, so I get the sense that it must be difficult. I think it's especially hard to decide which details need to be presented first and when and just how exactly, because this obviously isn't like a movie where you can have all sorts of things happen in a matter of seconds but which take a lot of words to describe and certainly take more than a few seconds to read.
I loved the little bits of humor, too. That was such a perfect touch, especially since a lot of this chapter was serious "get the clue and try to beat up the Holts" stuff.
I'm excited for the next chapter, and hopefully we'll find out more about these mysterious agents that are keeping track these subjects.(:
| Cecily chapter 12 . 1/31/2012
Oh, goodness. You updated! And I loved it: from the Natalie-esque simile at the beginning to the last line, it was lovely. And so you'd best update again soon.
Like, really soon.
| Volcanic Lily chapter 12 . 1/31/2012
I'm not sure whether I've reviewed this or not; if so, it's been a long time and I don't remember. Anyway, if I haven't, let me start off by saying this is a fantastic story. I've really enjoyed it; you're a great writer, and I think you write action very well (I wish I could... XD). Your descriptions are good, your characters are IC, and you make me keep wanting to read more! (Hint, hint, update soon. XD) Good luck with the rest of this story! :)
| Illuminating Flames chapter 11 . 11/20/2011
I. LUV. IT. It's exceptionally good, according to me. I didn't review any of the other chapters, because I wanted to keep on reading. Please update ASAP.