Reviews for Paenitentia
madagascarmaster chapter 2 . 4/26/2013
Ya know, I kinda want to know what went on after they found Swoop.
Ersatz Writer chapter 2 . 9/25/2012
Dinobots huh... I've never really liked them that much... I guess I found te Caveman Speech in te cartoons a little.. annoying. But, wow, what a gentle Starscream here, huh? The quotes were very effective, especially the ending. Very touching. Great stuff. :D

I started reading 28 Starscreams cos of this! In fact I started reading Taipan Kiryu's stuff too because of you! XD I've copied like half your favourites list and Im starting to think Im getting very annoying in my enthusiasm... -_- sorry
ElementalFallenStar chapter 2 . 5/21/2011
I LOVE IT ALL Expecially the ending qoute!
Demons Kin chapter 2 . 9/30/2010
awwwwwwwwww omg I feel so bad for Starscream I wish he could get a second chance
Archivist chapter 2 . 9/13/2010
I read this fic after reading 28 Starscreams. Great fic! I thought it was a great continuation to the original chapter.
Archaeopteryx Feather chapter 2 . 5/11/2010
I don't usually find this to be the case, but I enjoyed this story more upon reading it a second time. Why is that? I think that it's because this story is more about exploring the characters of Swoop and Starscream than about discovering a plotline. The first time I read it I sped through it, anxious to get on with the excitement, but upon reading it a second time I slowed down and took the time to savor the character interactions. I haven't taken much time to study Swoop, but I did like how you drew him-he always seemed smarter than the other Dinobots, and your characterization of him picks up on that nicely without downplaying his Dinobot identity. He seemed well balanced.

For Starscream, I must admit that I had trouble accepting his new penitant nature. It wasn't that I disbelieved that as a ghost he might one day be sorry for his past deeds (actually, I had a similar idea for him at one point), it was just that I wanted to see some transition between the cackling Decepticon ghost we saw in the cartoon and his new, sorrowful nature. As it was, there was always this nagging voice in the back of my head insisting, "That's not right, how did he get like this? Why isn't he still trying to kill Galvatron and take over the Decepticons?" But that aside, it's interesting to see the turn Starscream's character has taken as a ghost. It seems like he's so depressed by his afterlife that he's given up hope. He's trying, but redemption just seems so far off (an eternity!) that it's not really worth trying to achieve. Hard to blame him-he potentially has several million years of penance to spend all alone, unable to affect his world except in the smallest ways. In short, his life is over-literally too. No wonder he sighs and speaks softly throughout the story.

So, a little bit of concrit.

One thing that I think would really help your Starscream characterization would be to a.) start using contractions as much as possible and b.) simplify his speech patterns.

For example:

Starscream: "Tell Bluestreak I am aware of his gratitude and am glad he thinks of me fondly even though I am far from deserving of it."

I would make something like this:

"Tell Bluestreak I know how grateful he is. I'm glad he thinks of me fondly, though I deserve far worse."

I don't usually find this to be the case, but I enjoyed this story more upon reading it a second time. Why is that? I think that it's because this story is more about exploring the characters of Swoop and Starscream than about discovering a plotline. The first time I read it I sped through it, anxious to get on with the excitement, but upon reading it a second time I slowed down and took the time to savor the character interactions. I haven't taken much time to study Swoop, but I did like how you drew him-he always seemed smarter than the other Dinobots, and your characterization of him picks up on that nicely without downplaying his Dinobot identity. He seemed quite well balanced.

For Starscream, I must admit that I had trouble accepting his new penitant nature. It wasn't that I disbelieved that as a ghost he might one day be sorry for his past deeds (actually, I had a similar idea for him at one point), it was just that I wanted to see some transition between the cackling Decepticon ghost we saw in the cartoon and his new, sorrowful nature. As it was, there was always this nagging voice in the back of my head insisting, "That's not right, how did he get like this? Why isn't he still trying to kill Galvatron and take over the Decepticons?" But that aside, it's interesting to see the turn Starscream's character has taken as a ghost. It seems like he's so depressed by his afterlife that he's given up hope. He's trying, but redemption just seems so far off (an eternity!) that it's not really worth trying to achieve. Hard to blame him-he potentially has several million years of penance to spend all alone, unable to affect his world except in the smallest ways. In short, his life is over-literally too. No wonder he sighs and speaks softly throughout the story. Let's hope he makes it one day...or at least gets his old body back so that he can start doing more good. Hm, I'll read it if you write it! ;)

So, a little bit of concrit.

One thing that I think would really help your Starscream characterization would be to a.) start using contractions as much as possible and b.) simplify his speech patterns.

For example:

Starscream: "Tell Bluestreak I am aware of his gratitude and am glad he thinks of me fondly even though I am far from deserving of it."

I would rearrange this sentence something along these lines:

"Tell Bluestreak I know how grateful he is. I'm glad he thinks of me fondly, even though I deserve far worse."

The thing is, while Starscream is smart, he doesn't speak like Perceptor at all. Unless he's being deludedly overdramatic (in which case he stops using contractions and gets all formal), he speaks loosely and unformally, using slang and speaking in shortish, simply-constructed phrases. He rarely gets technical. He doesn't speak in a dignified manner at all. His sentences tend to be short and to the point rather than wordy with a lot of explanatory clauses and extra words. Here are some examples I yanked from More Than Meets the Eye: "Let's just blow 'em away! They've seen us!" "I'm just saying goodbye." "Thanks for the ride, Prime. Too bad you can't go the rest of the way." "What about materials?" "Let's do it!" "Well, any ideas?" So I guess to sum it up, I'd say he has speech patterns that are closer to those of Terrorsaur or Cheetor rather than those of Tarantulas and Perceptor.

One last thing-when I saw your title, I immediately thought, "That's Latin!" and reached for my Latin/English dictionary. :) It said that "paenitentia" meant "redemption," but I have no doubt that it can mean both words-just depends on the dictionary you consult. ;) If gave out five star ratings, I'd give you an extra one just for being cool enough to use Latin.
dixiegurl13 chapter 2 . 5/6/2010
I shall review both chapters seeing as how I couldn't stop reading to review the first ;)

The first chapter was highly intriguing. Swoop is a character I don't come across that often and where most assume the Dinobots as slow and dimwitted, I like how you wrote Swoop in this. He talks haltingly, but his internal musings are intelligent and well-collected. Overall, a nice, well-rounded portrayal of a little-considered character.

The ending to chapter 1, had me feeling very much like Swoop-I think I know...I think I know who's helping him...*Light Bulb* So that's who's helping him!

I can seriously see Starscream as a penitant ghost. For what other reason should a ghost exist except to be haunted by his own misdoings? Very well done! I like-ee!

And thank you very much for the congratulations! Should I make it all the way thru, I shall let you know.
Shadir chapter 2 . 5/2/2010
*Snif* Prety, pretty.
Balrog Roike chapter 2 . 5/2/2010
Looks like Swoop got it right, more than once.
Blue will meet the ghost again, at least if I ever come around to write it.

I wonder, if next Halloween, Swoop will have an own story to tell or if he will keep silent there as well.
I like the end quote, it fits perfectly.
So sad...

BR
Trapped in Reality chapter 2 . 5/2/2010
So, what chapter of the 28 Starscream is the Bluestreak part in? I think this story would make since after reading that.

I like seeing this new side of Starscream. I loved the Dinobot quote at the end. It puts the story in a whole new perspective.
9aza chapter 2 . 5/2/2010
Oh...Poor Starscream. I liked this very much.
Shadir chapter 1 . 5/1/2010
Wow! very good.
Trapped in Reality chapter 1 . 5/1/2010
I'm assuming the Bluestreak part is the reference to the other story... I really liked it; it shows a different side of Starscream. :)
recyclablefoxx chapter 1 . 5/1/2010
Oh, I just love this 3 I hope Swoop gets the courage to redeem/save Starscream while he is still alive - time parodox :D
Balrog Roike chapter 1 . 5/1/2010
I really hope Swoop doesn't try to thank Screamer the next time he faces him in battle.
The results could be ugly. "

I like the story so far.
You don't see Swoop/Seeker interaction often, even if he's one of the few flying Autobots and therefor one of the few Bots who are constantly directly fighting with the Seekers and not just shooting at them from the ground.
And your Starscream is brave enough to admit to his faults, mine is still trying to help but too much of a chicken to ever show himself to anyone.

BR
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