Reviews for Legend of Zelda: The Fall of Man
fuckin' shit chapter 1 . 7/25/2014
The stupidiest thing i ever read.
Teamship and Friendwork chapter 2 . 6/11/2013
" will give away our position." So I did what he said and I took out the chameleon in three shots. I saw another one and took him out too, this time in two shots. He said, " Good, lets get going." I then deactivated and put away my Lens of Truth, and gave him back his gun. He said, "Hold on to it, your a good marksman. Just don't break it." Now I'm holding on to another's weapon."

"Now I'm holding on to another's weapon." is very repetitive, and you can probably get away without the inner monologue for every sentence, some thoughts can be taken for granted, like that he has obtained a new weapon.
Teamship and Friendwork chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
I do not have many critiques, though i do want to say that i am reading your story or book with interest and would love if you continued. I really appreciate how you have caught Links ability to pick up weaponry and really how you can go wherever you want with this because of how Link seems to jump between worlds.
Cyhyr chapter 1 . 6/23/2010
It was fine up until the last line.

Keep yourself in the same tense. You switched to present tense in that last sentence, when throughout the rest of the chapter you were in past tense.

That was very effective imagery at the end, though. Gross, but very nice.