|Reviews for Life At Pizza Hut|
| Anon chapter 874 . 4/7
You thought that this was an ordinary comment? TOO BAD. WALUIGI TIME!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *gasps for air & takes deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... (this goes on for several hours.)
| Superior Serperior chapter 1 . 2/15
OMG this story is SO funny! My fave pizza place and my fave video game series IN ONE FANFIC!... thank you so much for making this!
| Silver Air chapter 872 . 2/14
im baffled yet highly impressed that this fic is still going on
| Guest chapter 867 . 1/1
| Xeno224 chapter 1 . 12/7/2017
Surely you must run out of ideas
| Darfur Maxx chapter 859 . 12/3/2017
Dan "Life At Pizza Hut? More like Cry More Feet-sy Slut!" Schneider approves of this fanfiction. Probably.
Chapter One: Fuck You and Gotta Hell
TWIGGER GWARNING: Travis 2017 guest stars in a minor role.
Bob Dole relishes the fervor of his yiff stick making hot yaoi with the face of Pissyard, the Gayest Gun in Ganton. Emo brains of an agenda steeped in male urine has effectively destroyed all attempts at peaceful defusion and has brought the world into a full fledged Warhellride of Emily Youcis boobkiss proportions (of shit that Chris chan puts into his new vag _). A gay man is watching, and he is masturbating his filthy nullo hole, which is a hole that is for his rerouted peehole that famous fanfiction writer and ennuch Travis 2017 likes to show to children. Not sexual, though. Because he has no genitals or even (female) nipples to offend relentlessly bored harlots of despise on Facebook. The very same ones that love showing their very own (female) nipples to people on Facebook, at that. Because their (female) nipples are just part of their natural (female) anatomy and isn't meant to be inherently sexualized, unlike THOSE FUCKING BITCHES THAT KEEPS POSTING CLEAVAGE SELFIES TO GET ATTENTION FROM EVIL DEGENERATE FUCKBOYS.
You know the ones.
Evil cuntboonies from fucklick cummed into the scene. They were all scenesters and they all suck cock, especially the white ones. They masturbated to Donald Trump memes, and only Donald Trump memes. They hated the gays and think it's cool to fling burning bags of shit at them at the first sign of faggotry. They kick ginormous male bodyguards in the shins so hard that they break, even though they can't so much as do a single squat to save their lives. They love to animate awful anime porn starring Alfred Alfer, who is usually being fucked in the ass by Futa Queen Emily Rose Youcis, who cosplays as various characters from Kantai Collection. She prefers being Ushio, you can see it in her eyes.
"You are all fucking fagwhores!" said Taylor Swift. She was eating cottage cheese that was made out of aborted fetuses.
"No you, you fucking fake news cheese nigger!" said Donald Trump, because he was on an "Alt-fanfiction" legal high and was also loaded on novocaine and robitussen.
"blalblabla" said Emily Youcis. Because fuck you.
Then they all die of Mario Cum.
Chapter Two: The Chapter Where Luigi Hires a Prostitute For His Birthday
TWIGGER GWARNING: Everybody dies of Mario Cum at the end.
"Hello!" the naked nullo eunuch known as Mario sez, no, says; no, shits. "It's-a me, Mario!"
Ushio was busy masturbating to animal poarn, as all shitty kanmusu do when otaku aren't watching. Her ship cloaca chirped happily and sappily at the Alfred Alfer x Drew Pickles x Pee-Wee Herman hentai threeway, mixed with a heavily edited episode of Law & Order: SVU that was forcing its florescent, mood-altering strobes, to subtly rearrange the wiring of her frontal lobe in such a way that will cause her to lose her eyesight, and vote for a libertarian U.S. presidental candidate in 2020, before she turns twenty-five years old. Her mood soured the moment she noticed the greasy man standing behind her.
She turned her head slowly, glaring over her shoulder as she swiveled around in her chair to face Mario. "Go away," she growled in her best impression of Olivia Benson. "I hate you."
"No." Mario wagged his mustache and eyebrows in defiant, unrestrained anticipation.
Suddenly, with all the agility and professional foresight of pornographic variants of every single episode from every single series and spinoff of Law & Order, she pulls out a handgun and cocks it, aiming for the heart, like an elite police detective from New York City. "I said GO AWAY! You fat, dirty FUCK!"
"FAACK-A YOUUUUU-SHIO!" Mario screeched as he unleashed a torrent of Super Mario Fury from his nice and smooth front. It hit her right in the brain stem, killing her instantly.
Mario stood in truimph, having finally put one of the attackers of Pearl Harbor to a fate worse than overly sexualized brown-skinned American male prison gang rape.
"YEAH! HAH-HAH-HAAAAAHHH!" This filled him with so much Patriotic Pride that he enlisted in the U.S. military, using the Nintendo Power .
Because he was Super Mario, he was soon thrown in the back of a garbage truck at the earlist convenience by two Green Berets, who were disguised as undercover police officers, disguised as registered sex offenders, disguised as Chris Hansen in a desperate attempt to molest children on school property.
"You wan' goin' de ahhmy?! Fatty bi'ch whit' boii, huaaaahhh!" one of the two, non-descript pedohpile warriors/felons/PROUD AMERICAN PATRIOTS screamed, right in Mario's scrunched up testicle of a face. It was really loud and mean and it turned Mario's doughy nullo eunuch sensibilities into an embittered gutter demon of castrations. Mario mindlessly salutes and nods, before shitting himself.
And thus concludes Mario's grueling boot camp experience. He now posseses all of the skills and tactics needed to become a low level drug dealer, in the name of national security. The two Green Berets had Mario dress in the blood-stained clothes of a Serbian immigrant. Next thing Mario knew, he was clad in a cheap, smelly, black and red coloured track suit someone got murdered in, and a pink trucker hat that proudly displays "WILL HONK FOR YUGE BOOBS!" in eye-catching gold and black Comic Sans font.
"Now, go forth, and unleash your poarnstar destiny, you fat dego cuck!" the Green Berets saluted him, before uncerimonously dumping him out of their moving vehicle into a busy intersection in Detroit. Mario was almost run over immediatly by a cop car. Then narrowly avoids another one. Then a third one. Mario was about to panic as he saw an entire squadron of police cruisers zooming past him. It had't even been ten minutes and he's already facing the fuzz at full throttle. One car actually hit him, as if on cue of his realization. It crushed his kneecaps and it caused him to fall down, like a doughy midget man. He made inhuman noises of pain and hatred, now fookin' pissed that his knees got broke by the cops.
"JEEWWWWWWWAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS! SPICSLIT FUCKER WHOOORRREEESSS!"
That was all it took for the remaining cop cars to start spiraling and drifting around him at high speed.
Little did Mario know, that in Trump's America, unacceptable, or even fake racist, or sexist phrases in public are punishable by DEATH!
Lowriding dirty ass cops are swirling around him, like the water inside a toilet bowl relentlessly sucking down a giant turd, like himself.
Even Mario can't stop this many cockholes and birth canals. He slaps his ass fiercly, partly to empower himself staring into the face of death itself, in the form of twelve police cruisers.
Partly, however, simply because he likes making an ass of himself at the worst possible times. It was part of the reason Luigi had moved away from his lecherous ass. The other part, however, Luigi and his friends don't like to talk about.
It had to do with that one, fateful summer night.
Chapter Three: Breast Fetishism Combined with Heroin Addiction
TWIGGER GWARNING: May or may not mention Emily Youcis, The Shit Demon of Time.
"Let's kill the boob sniffers!" Baby Huey and his heroin addicted entourage cheered. Watching these doomed fucking morons had lit a fire in my belly, burning my guts. There they all were; broken beyond all recognition, glassy eyed drones of shit.
First was the leader of these bushwhackers, Huey. He was but an adult child, I believe. Today he stood before me in uniform, as did the rest of them. They wore their thick, ankle length black trenchcoats and steel toed boots. They fucked in the head and asshole. fucing fuck fuckers
"Let's sing a song, for the undesirable elements~! Let's praise the misogyny inherent in all of our True and Honest Christian hearts~!"
"Dirty fleeting titty anymal, you bad bad animal dog whore~! We know the pain of 1,000 tumour-ridden bosoms being secreted all at once on public websites~!"
"So fuck you, fucking bitches! Fucking bitches! BITCHES FUCKING BITCHES! Dirty ASSHOLE FUCK GOD DOG FUCK YOU ALL!"
"Nice of you to melt in the sun, after being shot by low powered gunfire, may we forever shut all of your whore mouths! If you tell anyone, I'll fucking kill you!"
"I fucking hate you all, fucking dirty animals."
"DAADAAADAAAA LSITEN TO THE SAD LITTLE BABY GIRL ANIMAL BREAST HEATHEN SLUT! SHE BEGS LIKE DOG BEGS FOR DICKS!"
"IF SHE HAS BIG BREASTS THEN SHE MUST LIKE FUCKING DOGS TOO~?"
"DIRTY CRIMINAL SUSPECT OF MORAL LIVING SHIT, WHEN OUR 0 TO 98 YEAR OLD SONS LOOK AT YOU AND THEN DO NOT LOOK DOWN AT A NULLO EUNUCH'S NCIE AND SMOOTH FRONT AND SMILE WILL BE CORRUPT BY THE GODLESS BUST DEOMN WHORE!"
"KILL ELVIRA, THE DOMESTIC TERRORIST OF CHRIST AND BELOVED SENSIBILITIES!"
"I hate it when girls take my lunch money and blame me for calling them names when I just want to be a pretty pretty brony prince! MOM AND DAD WILL FIND OUT EVERYTHING!"
"What the fuck is the point of this shit this is going nowhere."
"try to direct this bullshit to something meaningful and fun, such as CUTTING THOSE DISGUSTING FUCKING TITS OFF YOU COW! JESUS FUCK!"
wow this is bad :(
Chapter Four: Demonic Shit Diarrhea
TWIGGER GWARNING: I need to take a dump.
Hey boy heyyyy you can't fuckin' write to shave your own ass!
Fucking fuck fuck PHUFCK YOU BITCH BOY
DOGGY BITCH BITCH BITCH OH WAIT SHE's BLIND NEVERMIND.
"We will definitely not lose to Father Maskell's tentacle dicks!" Ushio exclaimed. "Tonight, we will all partake in turning him into a nullo eunuch!"
"Ushio, what in the world are you talking about?" A gay dog demon that was groping a cactus said. You could tell that he's gay because he's holding hands with his boyfriend, who was a magical old-timey garbage can filled with used (female) condoms.
"What I mean InuYasha, is that I finally know a way to defeat Maskell. He has to be castrated. He is an immortal that will only rise again if he is killed, and he will find his murderer, and kill them."
"Wow. You're pretty fucking gay, Ushio."
"Fuck you, dog shit."
Chapter Five: Relentless Animals of Retardation
TWIGGER GWARNING: Partially based on one of my Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead games.
One day, in Survivorman Land, Les Stroud was snorting cocaine off of smooth dog leather. He may have been partaking in hard drugs over the processed remains of his neighbour's dog, but in a survival situation, the neighbour's dog was fair game. He was on his 25th day of surviving in Survivorman Land, which was a private island previously owned by indeginous peoples of polynesian descent. Within the past year, however, it had been quaratined by the Canadian government, which was assisted by the usual terrorist whores responsible for making the world go 'round: the United States of America, Japan, and Israel. The reason for this?
A brand new season of Survivorman; one that would blow all the previous seasons out of the water, combined.
Chapter Six: Ushio Finds Weed
TWIGGER GWARNING: If you don't get the reference, then you've probably never played any ROM hacks.
| Emmaishere chapter 858 . 10/29/2017
your dedication is honestly life goals
| xX-Royally-Mystic-Xx chapter 1 . 10/14/2017
I haven’t read this in years, but it’s still funny as always.
| Villager of SmashVille chapter 857 . 10/4/2017
I want to learn from you.
| Sodium Chloride chapter 857 . 9/28/2017
That's what I said!
| Guest chapter 32 . 9/26/2017
That last bit was absolutely hilarious :3! Your such a good writer!
| Super Salty Edgelord chapter 35 . 9/19/2017
Waluigi is my favorite Sanic character.
| Lucent Shadow chapter 1 . 9/16/2017
I'm so late to this, so if it already happened, I didn't know - but is there gonna be a crossover between Silver's Pizza Hut and Waluigi's Taco Stand?
| wow chapter 1 . 9/5/2017
Oh shit this fanfic is iconic. I want to meet you Yoshizilla lol
| Guest chapter 857 . 9/5/2017
yoooo this fanfic is STILL alive? holy shit i remember stumbling upon it when i was 12... i'm going to college now. author, you're a legend.