|Reviews for The Last Spartan|
| RyuuyaOoguro chapter 7 . 10/7
here's my like, take it, for that wonderful old spice commercial.
| Mirrors Cracked And Broken chapter 6 . 9/13
sadly can't block a fic on mobile...
| Mirrors Cracked And Broken chapter 5 . 9/13
far too talktative, big nope.
| Mirrors Cracked And Broken chapter 3 . 9/13
kinetic... not blocking plasma... I'm not seeing the benefits. I'd much rather have my shitty 10-shot shield with armor that definitely blocks out most bullets than an only kinetic barrier. ugh.
| Ray SK chapter 1 . 9/6
I hope you continue to enjoy to write but the whole base of the story makes it seem like the CHEIF should of just been sent to ME universe as I see very little halo influence
the UNSC and Covenant remnants gave up everything and I see no gain for them. it makes no sense the UNSC alone had to much to lose from the stipulations I can't imagine what it's like for the remnants
I wish you the best tho it just feels weird to see the xenophobic UNSC with access to forrunner tech fold to aliens so easily
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/30
This story is heretical
| Pyronormal Simplicity chapter 1 . 7/21
Upon further review and another reread, I rescind my earlier review...mostly. Make no mistake, I still prefer the stoic and silent Chief to this one's pseudo-Shepard, but even if it's out of my comfort zone, that doesn't make it bad by any means. Different can be good.
To all the newcomers scrolling down here and seeing all the hate comments, please ignore them. Yes, a few of them bring up a few glaring weak spots but everything else is just useless rambling on how *they* would've written the story. Hate to break it to them, but you ain't getting more. Your lack of tact and common decency for someone wanting to share a work that they poured hours into is staggering. There's a reason all the hate comments are on guest accounts. They're too cowardly to say it on their main accounts because they don't want to be criticized.
Criticism is always going to happen but these haters are really just avid fans who don't know boundaries. Ignore them. Instead, focus on enjoying this work and making your own judgements.
Author,.I hope you're doing well. I know you probably won't return and I don't expect you to but it was a good run while it lasted.
| ALAN chapter 2 . 7/6
If you are looking for realism, or a story that stays true to ME AND HALO, THIS STORY ISNT FOR YOU! Turn back now and don't waste your time.
| Silverwingzz chapter 31 . 6/17
My question is why you keep having Master Chief lose all the time, and another is that you make him act more like Shepard than what the chief would actually be like.
| Joseph Miguel Arango chapter 1 . 6/15
| snow in the darkness chapter 12 . 5/22
you should put humor tag in your story. God I can't stop chuckle in your natural humor.
| ClayPidgeon chapter 1 . 5/17
You write characterization well, very well. Your humor and action are quite on tack. But your worldbuilding (and in some secondary respects your premise by extension) are so fundamentally awful and broken that you scuppered your story from the start, which is absolutely heartbreaking because you wrote it so goddamned well in and of itself.
I mean, seriously, what the FUCK? I wouldn’t care (and wouldn’t have even read this) if we were dealing with some whiny, near-illiterate 13-year-old edgelord, but how the hell could someone with such clear writing ability as yourself drop the ball on worldbuilding this spectacularly?
You GENUINELY expect me to sit back and believe that the UNSC would sit back and let itself be neutered by the Citadel Council to any degree at all, let alone that to which you pushed it, for better trade deals when even the post-war UNSC could easily, easily overrun Palaven, at least in space (not too likely on the ground to say the least)? To say nothing of the MOTHERFUCKING COVENANT REMNANT!?
You do realize that EVERY SINGLE COVENANT SHIP that isn’t a stealth ship or an escort corvette classifies as a dreadnought by Mass Effect standards, right? Or that they could Slipspace away Relay 314 to keep the Turians out if it came down to it? Or that Covenant slip drives (which the UNSC now uses) move at OVER 900 LIGHTYEARS PER DAY to the Citadel’s 15 and don’t need to discharge? Or that the UNSC’s hundreds of systems to say nothing of the Covenant’s thousands far eclipse a Mass Effect cluster? Or that the Reapers wouldn’t have a prayer at wiping away any Forerunner installation with actual defenses? Or that any attempt to roll over to the Council like your story suggested the UNSC did, especially after the Human-Covenant War, would see a mass mutiny, riot, and revolution and the successor state would tell the Council to go fuck themselves (ditto with the Covies)? Or that Covenant plasma would be terrifying in Mass Effect? Or that 20 Marathon-class cruisers with gigaton weapons thousands of times stronger than mass accelerators was considered a near-impotent main battlefleet by the UNSC (that said, you should equalize the weapon disparity as that’d nullify the point and threat of the Reapers and make the story meaningless)? Or that the Citadel would be utterly unimpressive to the people with an Ark portal in their backyard? Or that the Turians have goddamned brains and wouldn’t try to gun down what they’d see as a whole armada of hyperadvanced superdreadnoughts (particularly when they see what they can do), so they’d likely de-escalate things themselves if they even started shit in the first place (and would’ve never made it to Shanxi)?
No? Didn’t think so. And beating you up over it further is meaningless, I’ve made my point and you’ll either get it or you won’t, extra shit won’t change that.
Look, I get that you wanted Chief to be Shepard and that’s an awesome idea, but you could’ve just dimension jumped him over, and if you wanted Covenant species along, then you could’ve brought some over with him. Alternatively, you could’ve just bitten the bullet and hard-rewritten the First Contact War to reflect the dramatically stronger, dramatically different Humanity and their allies that we see in Halo. It’s workable without making mess of it, I’ve seen it happen - not too often, but happen it does.
Also, some quibbling could be done over the Master Chief being far, far stronger than you wrote them particularly in terms of strength and his MJOLNIR’s shielding unit, but you still balanced your action scenes well enough that I don’t truly care.
You absolutely should keep writing because you do have real talent for it, but first you need to unfuck your worldbuilding, because I routinely see better worldbuilding in Harry Potter crackfics.
| Hellwyrm chapter 55 . 5/13
Bloody fucking shame that this seems abandoned now. Fuck all the haters on this fic, its well written and definitely an interesting change of pace to the canon ME story. You did well on the characterization as well as mixing up the plot to keep it interesting.
It was nice to see Thel still alive and kicking, and the bond brothers... oh my fucking christ, I was in stitches laughing at how absurdly overpowered they would be. Literal 3 ton walking tanks biotic charging some poor schmuck and making them absolute paste.
A friend and I used to play the fuck out of ME3s multiplayer and could duo Platnium difficulty without cheesing it with both of us being Krogan Vanguards. We eventually began calling them the Krogan Wrecking Crew because bodies would be flying everywhere for the whole game.(Fuck the Geth Flamers though, those assholes burned my Krogan's stubby little tail off more times then I could count over the years.)
Seriously though, this was a joy to read, and its a shame your motivation died. I also appreciate Zgamer for stepping up to the plate on the three chapters he did. They were well written, just a shame you didn't get enough positive feedback to deem it worthy to continue.
I was really curious to see if the 'ghost' Spartans were going to be Blue Team, since Halsey fucked off into the Dyson Sphere after kidnapping Kelly, and the rest of Blue Team wound up there after finding Kurt(though he sacrificed himself to allow them to get there in the first place.) on Onyx, along with Mendez. The Dyson Sphere had an interesting time dilation effect to it that you could have used with a little creative freedom to have them live long enough to make it into your story. I was also curious to see if they had managed to find a way to fix rampancy over the last 130 years. Which judging from the run of the talk and Cortana's thoughts, they hadn't quite figured it out yet. Though I bet it wouldn't be too hard if The Assembly got in the Quarians good graces and worked together with them.
Anyways, gonna favorite this on the off chance it gets updated some day in the future. Stay safe out there in this shitshow we call our home world.
| AvidGamer chapter 3 . 5/3
Look, while I appreciate the fact that you actually gave a half-decent reason for crippling humanity, It's still unrealistic and beyond retarded for us to give up the massive advantages the Halo-verse tech has. Eezo limits ship size to approximately UNSC frigate size. Turian dreadnaughts aren't much bigger than goddamn frigates! The Infinity could carry 10 of those inside her bays! The MAC output of the infinity is, and this is not an exaggeration, literally a magnitude stronger (at least) than a Turian dreadnaught. It's capable of one-shotting the Destiny Ascension...
Halo-verse humanity (post war at least) is OP for the Mass Effect universe. So either don't combine the two or make the conflict about diplomacy or something like that. But don't randomly nerf one faction to try and keep them from curb-stomping the rest. No one likes or appreciates that sort of thing. It's just as bad as throwing End of Series Naruto into the Marvel-verse then nerfing him so he struggles with people on Spider-man's level just to create "tension" and "conflict". It's a sign of an unimaginative or biased writer...and no one likes that.
| dwdadw33 chapter 1 . 4/29
This story is what happens when you combine IDIOT and a ME fan boy who jerks of to to puny ME mass accelerators