|Reviews for Echoes of the Forgotten|
| Phantomflower chapter 22 . 1/21
Ohh boy. It looks like Mayu had gone too hard on Mina. The poor thing seems to be at the breaking point.
Don't make Mayu let go of the lingering feeling that's she's been too hard on Mina. It really isn't fair how she's treated different from her brothers.
Has is occured to Mayu that she should explain to Mina why she reacted to Cross in that way? It doesn't need to be complicated. Honesty is the best policy, after all.
Something to the tone of "Cross was the dog who gave birth to your uncle Mao and I, but she abandoned us when we were pups. Finding out she made a new family and forgot about us has made me angry. I don't want you to talk with her. Cross is not as nice as you think. How about you spend more time with your father and I?" could be enough.
In one passage, it mentions how Drake eats pups for enjoyment (eww). For some reason, Cain's name is where Drake's should be (Cain had eaten that pup while it was alive, feeling his pain and savoring it). Please fix it.
Ohu will need to send some platoons to deal with the Clan and soon. The Setsu incident has caused some panic in Ohu, I'm sure.
That's another problem - who will the Grandmaster choose as her container with Setsu dead?
Cross' sons are good dogs. Maybe the experience will be good for George.
Even Mina's sons are realizing how their sister is being treated differently. Hopefully, there is a solution.
You're handing it over to your co-author? That's alright. Sometimes, we need to take a step back from writing.
| Princess Unikitty chapter 21 . 10/4/2013
looks great so far
| Phantomflower chapter 21 . 6/3/2013
Beautiful. There are many things I like about this chapter.
First, bringing back Drake was a good idea. He's shaping up to be a good opponent for Ohu.
In his situation, Tesshin needs to not only get his wounds treated, but alert Ohu and the Koga elder. The elder will not be happy about a traitor in the midst. Among ninjas/shinobi, betrayal is very bad. Perhaps Teru or one of the other puppies can be sent to Ohu as a messenger?
I like how Mayu is being honest and frank with Mina about the danger that comes with their gender. The little pup will need to defend herself from pushy, overbearing males as she gets older. Mayu is also realizing some of her parenting mistakes.
She may not like Cross, but I hope Mayu will realize that she will be an invaluable ally against the Clan. Cross is powerful, even in her old age, and will likely not spare mercy for the ones who murdered her son. Preventing her from visiting Mina would be a bad idea.
I would like to see Cross and Mayu come to an agreement, more of Kuro and Wing (where are those boys in this mess?), Ohu preparing for the Clan, and the Clan causing problems for other allies of Ohu (example: Kisaragi and his sons, maybe even Gin's former owner, Daisuke; the Clan doesn't seem too picky on victims).
I can't wait for the next chapter.
| Dark Scimitar chapter 21 . 5/30/2013
This is a terrific chapter. Tesshin's an underused character in my opinion and the fight scene in this chapter was fantastically written for him. Also, I truly feel bad for both Cross and Mina. Neither one of them can seem to catch a break at all. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where you take this.
| Phantomflower chapter 20 . 9/16/2012
This was a nice chapter. I wonder what's in store for Alucard after the questioning. Mayu is horrified at the discovery of Setsu's corpse. Bat and Mina have some father/daughter time. Cross is being comforted by Ben.
Things I'd like to see in the future: more Ben/Cross interaction, George reappearing, the Grandmaster rallying the Clan, and mother/daughter moments with Mayu and Mina.
As always, I can't wait for more.
| Phantomflower chapter 19 . 6/15/2012
This is very shocking. Setsu is now dead. I assume the two dogs watching from afar are Cain and Alucard. Their futures are now in question due to her death.
The Grandmaster will need to be informed somehow. She will be very pissed. Hopefully, she gets that Akakabuto possessing Setsu was not something she or certain others could prevent. Another container will have to be prepared, and she does not have much time left.
If Mayu is allowed to see Setsu's corpse (to show her what nearly killed her daughter), will she talk about knowing her, even if they hated each other? This is a prime time to introduce the Clan's threat to Ohu.
Again, it is nice to see Mina bond with her grandmother. Please do more of those sorts of scenes. Maybe have her bring Kuro once!
Although I spotted an error (Gin calling Ben 'Dad' when George should be), this is good writing. I would love to read more.
| Phantomflower chapter 18 . 4/10/2012
There are many things I like about this chapter.
Akakabuto's spirit being channeled by Setsu was very unexpected. It sounds like Akakabuto is using her to destroy the Ohu army. For both them and the Clan, it will not end too well.
Cain and Alucard are out of their depth, though. The Grandmaster will likely find the dead dogs soon. If so, will there be signs of Setsu channeling a spirit in the wounds of her victims?
All creatures cannot go without water for long, however. Even if she can go all of that way without food, Setsu cannot last too long without water; dehydration will set in quickly. Akakabuto should have her stop to drink before Ohu.
There is no point in possessing a dog if that dog is going to be weak from lack of water.
I liked the Mayu/Bat and Cross/Mina interactions a lot. What will happen when Alucard and Mayu meet again? With Setsu's destination, they're going to meet again for sure. It's inevitable.
Good job. This is the first Story Alert I've gotten in months, so I'm very happy.
| Phantomflower chapter 17 . 10/3/2011
Wow, so much is going on in this chapter. Setsu has ran away and now Alucard and a search party must find her. Possibly, this could lead all of them to Ohu. If that happened though, Cain might be in for some hurting from Mayu and maybe Bat (if he was told about Cain at some point). And maybe Wing should not eat so much, LOL! Poor Mina. Wing needs to learn that he can't exclude his sister from his games.
I can't wait for the next development.
| Phantomflower chapter 16 . 7/30/2011
Well, this was an interesting chapter. Kuro just wants to make sure that Mayu is okay. Family issues are rising to a head. It was cute of Mina to call George 'grumpy mister'. If only George was a little more friendly to puppies...
The Grandmaster is still alive! I'm guessing that she is preparing to transfer the spirits into Setsu and switch containers. Of all the notable Clan dogs, Zakura is dead, and Lazarus, Cain, Drake, and Alucard are unaccounted for. Mako, Julia, and Maria still appear to be around. Were Cain and/or Alucard maybe killed because of the Mayu thing? The Grandmaster has her ways. Then again, Alucard's ghost would probably appear to Mayu (or near her) if he were dead.
Still, keep going! The Clan has something brewing...
| uknown chapter 15 . 6/18/2011
please write more I'm desperate to know wat happens next poor Mao (howls in sadness and excitment)
| Phantomflower chapter 15 . 5/12/2011
Your story is amazing. I like the Ginga series, but there are not many that are this well-written.
I think Mayu's reaction to Cross is understandable. Given that she never came back from Akakabuto's attack and now is finding that she's alive, she might be in the right direction to think that her mother abandoned her.
If they can calm their tempers enough, I think that Mayu should eventually befriend George. He will notice the scars that still remain from Mayu's time in the Clan, and perhaps they could trade stories about their deceased siblings, maybe delve a bit into what happened with Cain.
Speaking of the Clan, could you move back to their POV temporarily to show what they're doing years after Mayu left and who is still alive over there? It wouldn't even have to be for a whole chapter. Mind you, I am not expecting the Grandmaster to still be alive as she was already elderly when they (Mayu and Mao) entered the Clan. But I imagine that someone is still alive and kicking.
Gin should make a short appearence if only to tell Weed that, like fathers and sons do, mothers and daughters have conflicts and it takes a while to resolve one like Cross and Mayu are having.
Because of the mention of Miney (who appears in a GDW manga flashback, but not in the anime) and George, I can tell you read the manga. But how many volumes have you read? There's up to 60 so I cannot blame you for not reading them all. I'm just wondering because this is currently unclear about what arc it is, except that its' after Hougen's death. After Hougen, there's the Monkey Arc where Weed meets his mate Koyuki and also (for only a little while) reunites with his older brother, Yukimura, the Russian Dog Arc where some mistreated war dogs used by Russian soldiers swim to Japan for territory and kill off Hakuro (one of Gin's old friends)...I wouldn't mind this being AU somewhat, but I think that there should be hints of some sort (i.e, dogs talking about monkey troubles or that their leader's brother has died, or hearing about German Shepherds who are from Russia that show no mercy on their foes, etc) if this is not AU (which I don't think it was intended as).
Still, this is a good quality story. I never mind an author taking their time, but keep going with this fic!
| Kage no Sendo chapter 8 . 4/26/2011
...I suppoe you have t feel little sorry for Grandmaster,but she's still twisted.
Also, I spoke too soon- Mayu is screwed, hopefully not literally though...
| Kage no Sendo chapter 7 . 4/26/2011
Aawww! Fluffy family bonding! So cute! A pregnant Mayu...Lol that would look funny. Weell..With Setsu's title being Container, and the Grandmaster breathing her spirit out... /
| Kage no Sendo chapter 6 . 4/26/2011
Close call with Mao and Mayu...But nice save Alucard!
I'm glad you showed wha Cross was doing and feeling...I never looked at the relationship between Gin and her that way /
Lol what ifshe named th female Mayu? tht would be awkward when (if) Mayu and Mo meet up with Cross again.
| Kage no Sendo chapter 5 . 4/26/2011
Looks like Mao and Mayu are adapting quite well... but I have a feeling going outside won't be a good thing...
Go Cross D She deserves to be happy with Ben after what she went through.