|Reviews for The Clier Path|
| Mae Equinox chapter 21 . 2/17/2012
Wow. It was an amazing chapter, and i thoroughly enjoyed it. And because i love how you describe and set the scene for characters and how you write fighting scenes, it all came together very nicely. I could imagine all this happening, well, you know, if it was real, because it just sounds real from the point of view of the characters and the stress and pressure and fear.
Also, the paragraph where you describe Envy's transformation. I have to say i thought it was brilliant. I loved how you wrote it and described how it happened. I know it was a small paragraph but it was very memorable!
Obviously very sad about the situation with Trin and Neo, but i hope that will be resolved... But the main part in the room with Mr Smith is all very good, and all the lines sound perfect for him. You know they are when you can see him in your head saying it- You've gotta love him! And all that alchemy stuff with Mustang and The Truth Syrum was great. And also, i really hated Envy, so, you got him just right!
Anyway, all in all, i loved it. Now my favourite chapter i think. The only thing that i could perhaps say was that i was so into the part with Morpheus and Roy, i always really wanted to get back to that part of the story, and so i sometimes rushed the other parts. That is only because you make it so darn interesting though, nothing you can do there! Thank you for the chapter. I hope all is well and to be honest, you remember to take a break from all this work once your teachers have stopped nagging!
Oh, and thank you for the dedication x
| Guest chapter 20 . 9/12/2011
Thank you, another brilliant chapter, and sorry this is a day late. Great fighting scenes yet again, you seem to write them ever so well, like everything else, and i liked how you did the disco bit, a sort of inner monologue and the music, it worked really well.
I did get a little confused at some parts about who you were talking about, but i got the gist, so it wasn't too bad. Sorry if this is a rubbish question, but i am just checking, what was Havoc talking about in central that was like the elephant in the corner of the room? Sorry if it sounds stupid to you. Anyway, i liked the banter between Roy and Switch was it? Very enjoyable. I am sorry this is so short, but Doc Martin has just right now started and i have decided to give it a go seeing as my parents enjoy it. Usually i just drift in and out of it.
And, regretably, i myself am taking a hiatus from fanfiction, sorry, but only for 2 months i should say. You see, i need to do my grade 5 theory and i am so far behind but i want to get it done for November because i hate it and i am sick to the teeth with it and if i don't get it done now i never will so i have banished myself from this until i have finished so the next time you will hear from me i will be so very happy. I am sorry for this quick heads up, but it is a very quick decision but i am happy with it, because now I AM DETERMINED. This actually may be a good thing because i will not miss a single chapter of this :D And when i get back on, i can catch up with the other story :D I may try and get on msn to at least talk to you because that will be ages without talking to you D: So, see you on msn, hopefully x
| Ruin Dun Burnit chapter 5 . 8/31/2011
Just read your chapter 5, I really liked this one, a nice taste of the humour and backchat that I'm sure we'll see over the course of this fic.
I really do like your versions of the characters, especially Morpheus, Mouse, Switch and Neo. Don't ask me why, but I just love these guys (probably because of the football and cricket conversation). Mouse is still funny even without that conversation, I mean "I feel so unclean!" Gawd, he's cool.
You've really caught Morpheus' personality, hence why I love him here. As for Switch, we never hear that much about her, so I like your take on the little information we get about her. As for our Mr Neo, he is just a little bit of epic, and like looking into a mirror - like learning what he would be like if he emoted at all.
Great work so far, I know this will get better and better. Sorry if this review is too small for your tastes, but as I've just about been reviewing every chapter so far, make do with this, okay?
Thanks for another great chapter,
| Ruin Dun Burnit chapter 4 . 8/30/2011
Not much to say on this chapter, other than that I really love your Oracle, and this was really well written out, too. I can tell this is gonna get better and better.
Thanks for another great chapter, I'll be on to 5 soon.
| Ruin Dun Burnit chapter 3 . 8/30/2011
Wow, this one was really quite good. The use of soul a lot at the beginning was a little disconcerting, but I really do love your Smith - you've portrayed him as the dick he really is.
While I was reading this, I was checking through your Amestrian translations, and found only one mistake so far: You put Zekadiu instead of Zekadiw for 'What'.
Really, I'm just really happy with this one overall, and I really loved the action scenes in this one.
Thanks for a great chapter, I'll be onto chapter 4 v. soon!
| Armor and Soul chapter 3 . 8/20/2011
Sorry about the wrong assumption at the last review. I fell sad for Al being used so harshly against his own brother.
| Armor and Soul chapter 2 . 8/20/2011
As I said at my other review, good story. Although I don't understand Edward's dreams and why, who I think is Morpheus, is trying to kill him.
| Armor and Soul chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
I never liked the Matrix, but I'm finding this interesting. To be honest I envy you for writing so good.
| Mae Equinox chapter 19 . 7/17/2011
I am so happy i decided to check up on your story today! I breathed a sigh of relief when i read it had only been out a day. Phew. And so happy that you dedicated a whole chapter to me. Not even half of one so thank you so much. And may i just say, what an awesome chapter to dedicate to me! xx
This has got to be one of my favourites, and not just because of the dedication. It was full of words (ok, i know that sounds weird, but it just really got down into the nitty gritty, although i loved the Roy chapter before, i mean it is now back on track with the storyline.) I also loved reading the diary entries you came up with and honestly, sometimes i forget this is a fanfiction it is so real. I loved it how Falman had to spell it out for him but i worked out myself the reference to flames and the sun (oh clever me. Even though you had to come up with the thing hehe, i still give myself credit!)
I loved the Mouse and Roy team and think they actually worked pretty well together, and to be honest, look away here if you haven't finished FMA Brotherhood which i am totally sure you have and before me and i could have sworn i asked you before but i am pretty forgetful, when Mouse goes partially blind i just thought you were being irnoic because Roy becomes blind in FMA Brotherhood. Obviously barking up the wrong tree but yes, don't worry, i won't be putting bleach in my eye anytime soon, i managed to read the notes this time! Oh, and also the banter between them both, Colonel Whore's phone call to Dick also made me smile and i am glad you included a lot of Mouse this time because i actually think he is great in the films but they just don't include enough of him!
Although, one thing that i had hoped for because i would have sworn he would do it, was Roy bragging that he would be better at picking up the girl in the hotel anyway and that was why he should get the girl and Mouse should get the information. You obviously have a reason not to include it, oh wait, maybe he thought that would be being insensitive to Ed, i gettcha now, doesn't matter ;). Wouldn't put it past him though! Oh, and i liked "Michael" by the way and thought Roy's little self assessment was pretty good. I have always liked Havoc anyway and actually decided that he is one of my favourite characters, perhaps the orde going Roy, Havoc, Ling, Ed. I know, it is a shocking order for favourite characters but i just love Ling/Greed too much. Don't get me wrong though, i do love Ed. Are you an Ed or an Al person because in my experience you either prefer one brother or the other? Usually there is no middle ground and the other brother is half way down your list of favourites, Al is definitely for me! I also did know as soon as you mentioned Chase that Roy would choose that room. You see, i am learning! But i hope that Trinity doesn't choose to help Mr Smith and Envy...
As always, spelling and punctuation was almost perfect and nothing to complain about and the describing was great. Just to let you know, first week of the holiday, i am off to Greece so you obviously won't hear anything from me then but for the rest of the break i am present and free to read whatever you throw at us. Happy to announce i have no more homework finally and it is bliss, although a little cautious of our RE teacher because she can be a little, homework crazy. We have 2 hours with her on Wednesday, we will just have to try and keep her off the subject!
Thank you for the great read and well done for getting to the end of the year too. Sorry about the cold and i hope you get better soon. Tash xxx
| skywalkerchick1138 chapter 19 . 7/17/2011
I'm only about half-way through the chapter at the moment, but I have to say this right now: I am very very thankful you put in those beginning scenes with Havoc and Falman. One of the things that irritate me the most in a lot of yaoi stories is that nobody has problems with Roy and Ed's relationship. Everyone accepts it like it's the most natural thing in the world, and the authors don't realize that maybe someone, even just one character would not like it. So I was impressed that, yes, Havoc did have a very big problem with it at first; it helped make this story seem even more credible to me.
| Ruin Dun Burnit chapter 2 . 7/15/2011
I have to say, this was a good chapter. I mean, the characterisation of the characters were great, the humour was actually funny ('hey, Dream Guy!') and you did really quite well with the language I gave you. You gave Neo the jealousy i could imagine him having, you wrote Tank and Trinity the way that they would be naturally. In fact, the most in-character character in this chapter would be Morpheus, in my opinion. I SO love him for that!
Where you went wrong? I can never imagine Roy being that romantic. Ed, at a push, I suppose, in a confused teenage kind of way, but not Roy. When Roy is romantic, it is an act (or in my humble opinion, it is), and he wouldn't think like that. He is a WAR HERO, for Briggs' sake! That is where I think you failed here, but i'll forgive you because it was such a long time ago.
Other than that, great chapter. Can't wait to read more of it! (Or maybe I will wait, and wait until I actually have time).
Thanks for the chapter!
| Mae Equinox chapter 18 . 7/7/2011
Ok, firstly, i am sorry it has taken me until 10:30ish to write the review you have been anticipating, and secondly, for only getting a minute to glimpse at the authors notes which i usually read every chapter. But the bit i did skim over... I LOVE SPIRIT, i think it is a great film and i love the whole soundtrack and think it was the best idea they ever made to get Bryan Adams to do all the music. I love Get off of My Back and Here I Am, but all the rest are awesome too, don't get me wrong. Also Matt Damon as the narrator. Superb. Everything just fit i think. Ok, done talking about the marvelous film, onto the amazing chapter.
To start, anything to do with Mustang is a hit with me and since you gave him a whole damn chapter, well, that made me happy let's just say. The describing in it was just amazing and even though the whole story was basically inside Roy's mind which could have felt like it dragged on didn't and you made it all seem new and fresh and as if his brain kept on changing plot lines in his own story, each time him obviously being the main character... if you see what i mean? And yes, the characters were all as awesome as ever (still never going to forget the carrot) and i just loved it. I was so happy at the end when Roy finally woke up for real and i knew he would come just in time to help out with the whole Trinity thing. I can't remember if you said that alchemy would come back into it but i am dying to know. Please say, will they be able to use alchemy in later chapters or not, i just love the flame and will never not want to see more of it 8P.
I have finished watching FMA Brotherhood now, i know it has taken me ages and i usually wait for it to come out in english but i couldn't wait this time to be honest, and i am sure you have already seen them all anyway? But i will wait to discuss them with you until you can just vouch for that because i have made that mistake before but i am sure you finished it way before me, some of the last episodes clips are in your music vids on youtube. I do know, i checked ;) Btw, science was a drag XD
| skywalkerchick1138 chapter 17 . 7/2/2011
I have to tell you, I am extremely impressed with this story. I don't usually read FMA yaoi, because quite frankly it's just not my cup of tea. Even so, when I stumbled across this, I was a bit wary at first, but I thought I might as well give it a go. I was very pleasantly surprised. However, I do have just a few complaints: one, I feel that Ed is just a bit too out of character, and two, you keep saying how Ed is supposed to be everything opposite to Neo. He seems to fit most of that criteria; younger, freakin' genius, blonde, short (dodges frying-pan and ignores obnoxious rant) but it seems to me, that if the Beta-Matrix's One were to completely fit that description, Ed would be a girl. But that's just me, and hey, then this story wouldn't be a yaoi, now would it? ;) I probably would've attempted a gender-switch, but again, that's just me, and it's your story, not mine.
Even so, I'm enthralled with this story, and I'm eagerly awaiting updates. Please do continue, I'd like to see how this pans out.
| Mae Equinox chapter 17 . 6/26/2011
I just love Roy's followers in FMA, always have, always will. I just love how they work together, Havoc, Breda, Fallman, Fury and Riza and you write for them so well (obvisiously not Riza or Fury but you get the point!) I will still never forget Havoc and the carrot, and now the diary entry yet again showing one of Ed's usual rants - you really do do something right, it made me smile again.
I loved the link between Roy's relm and Ed when he was in the room, and the way you described the scene in Mustang's head was beautiful. I just like the way you transition when there are difficult scenes to write like that. i have only ever managed to do it once yet, but i still have time :)
Thank you for the update, i don't care it took ages, it was worth it and i am just glad you think your exams went well. My brothers last one(for GCSE though) is on Monday and then he is free too.
I looked at your deviantart account and i love it, i wish i had asked for it before! My favourite is Punch Face but i do like Sleepy Head too.
There were a few errors but again i don't mind at all, at least i got to read it! They weren't that hard to decipher anyway.
| Ruin Dun Burnit chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
Wow, Ophelia, now this is good! It's nice to find a good crossover on here without having to make one myself, y'know?
I don't know if you're aware of this, but there may be a couple of mistakes. The one I can think of is 'felt hard down by', when you should really say 'hard done by'. That's about it so far.
I'm only gonna make this one quick, so let me say that I'm gonna carry on reading when and if I have time, just so long as you read my things too! Promise?
Thanks for a good one,