|Reviews for Conquest of the Emperor: The World of Avatar|
| god of all chapter 2 . 5/11/2011
Great chapter and story so far pleases continue this story soon.
| ObsidianUnknown66 chapter 2 . 8/9/2010
Please dont end the conquest Emperor story. I think they are great and intresting to read. Again please please dont end the story this one is just starting. P.S look forward to the other world stories in the series.
Keep up th good work.
| ObsidianUnknown66 chapter 1 . 5/26/2010
Nice finaly moving to other worlds. Keep up the good work
| Sun Daughter chapter 1 . 5/4/2010
Ooh! This sounds cool! You can't just leave it like that!
Haha, sorry, I'm in a gushing mood right now.
First off, I am really enjoying your writing style and I can't wait to see more of your OC. Your spelling was OK, your spelled "helmet" like "helmit", but that was the only thing that I caught.
Your grammar was strange in some places. It was pretty much the same error each time though. Here's an example for you:
"You dare treat the phoenix King in this manner!" He yelled at the guard.
You don't capitalize "he". It stays lowercase.
Other than that, I'd suggest you make it a little bit longer. Use more detail (in your character's precise movements), description (of their surroundings), and development (for your characters, of course!). It'll lengthen it out more. I'd suggest aiming for maybe... 8-9 hundred words next time. Hope this helps! I hope to read more from you in the future.
Keep writing and have a nice day.