Reviews for Awakening the Old Her
ArcaneMaverick chapter 1 . 4/20
Great work and great reasoning. I approve of why you wrote this like Psi-liloquy said.

Haha Albert. "You must appreciate what everyone did." Oh gee wiz thanks. My choice n'everything!

Even though I feel similarly, I did like the scene in the game. The blunt and sudden admission is a nice change than the trope unnecessarily dragging confessions out for so long where they blabber and stutter along a build up to the "I love you". The directness was refreshing is what I am trying to say.

I like your subtleties of Dart's speech. Like when he says nothing to Fester's assertion and his reaction to Libria's intrusive question.

Since you have Dart follow the game without Shana and he found everybody, what the heck was she doing? Surely, she would have found one person. Or been talking to Lisa I guess.

The subtleties of the Haschel/Meru scene were weird. Dart looks on coldly and Meru scowls? Seems incorrect. But without voices and faces for tone, we can't tell from game text.

The execution of having Dart find Rose on his own was weak, but I get it and you did lampshade it which is good. The Haschel glance and Dart's recognition of it though recovered the moment some.

Yes, thank you for understanding Dart's character. He is not oblivious, maybe a bit tactless, he just doesn't know how to handled that situation so he lets it be.

Since the story was primarily from Dart's POV, it's weird to jump into Rose's thoughts, although they are kinda funny. But I found Dart's confession clunky and sudden, maybe it's because we are being divergent here. I wouldn't know of course, but it seems weird to fall in love from one event. I think Dart would be more interested in having a relationship with Rose than straight to love, but that's just silly ol' me writing a review for a decade and a half old game on a fic that's 5 years old.

Besides the sudden love portion on Dart's end, I like how this conversation is written.

Like Psi-liloquy said, Rose's admission is too forward, but hey, it's a one shot. Gotta go fast.

Does Rose give awkward smiles? I don't think she's recovered enough emotion for that yet.

Dart's not a person to fly by the seat of his pants or be ruled by his emotions. He is passionate, but not stupid. I think you handled his character well.

Her hair isn't mauve. Disliked, unsubscribed! Check your facts! :P

I like that you brought up the other game lines from Shirley and Pete. It's like proof!

It's fun to imagine if this game was an anime or something. A movie couldn't do it justice and a cartoon isn't serious enough.

Aw, poor guy Kongol always has to stand. Don't think Haschel was a pervert. He wasn't really that old guy trope, he subverted it a little. I like the Dragoon characters because they all seem to avoid some parts of the trope they are based on.

Anyway, despite of the blabbering dumb words I wrote here, I enjoyed reading and thank you for making a good representation of LoD here in this fic with a pairing we all like.
Officer Hot-Pants chapter 1 . 1/21/2013
A nice little one-shot. Favoriting if for no other reason that I had the EXACT same feelings on the matter. Blasted game even got my hopes up when Shana checked out of the party, no.
Sincerly Me chapter 1 . 1/7/2013
WOW...I have never read a K story before. I also stop myself because they are childish or not intense enough romantically for me. THIS STORY HOWEVER IS AWESOME! I enjoyed this story very much.
firedragoonknight chapter 1 . 12/12/2012
amazing job will ull make more dragoon fanfiction with dart and rose
kimi-lee22 chapter 1 . 10/11/2011
I have to be honest, I liked it and didn't like it at the same time. Maybe because I've always pictured Rose with Dart's father rather then Dart. Though they do make an awesome couple, and I did love the crying scene. It was a good story very cute and romantic. I did enjoy it
blackdeathmessenger chapter 1 . 8/21/2011
Awesome story. I've been thinking of something kinda similar, though different of course,lol, but never really got to writing it. This is inspiring me to actually write it. Glad to see someone out there likes the Dart and Rose pairing much better then the original as well
Animelover6000 chapter 1 . 2/7/2011
YAY yes yes THIS is how I wanted it to go! Omg I HATE SHANA! lmao, I'm happy there is someone out there who shares my passion. OOO I would love a Dart and Rose story..sadly all the stories here on fanfiction. net i either kiddish or poorly written. You seem like a well writen author and I can't wait for another LOD story for you to write and post. I'll keep you on tabs until then. Ttyl hun
greigar chapter 1 . 1/23/2011
I really enjoyed this story Dart and Rose seem like a better match than shana i HATE her its like... you know that feeling where there's that little kid just staring at you and you just wanna, PUNCH him but he's "special" and sets fires or something its a bit like that
Breezybiatch chapter 1 . 10/8/2010
I did the very same thing, always chosing rose themed answers, i blame this reason why i grew to dislike shanas character so very much!
Kratos181 chapter 1 . 7/15/2010
Oh my god... that... that... that was the best LoD story I have read... EVER!

I am sorry if I am coming off as a kiss ass, but there is no other way of saying how much I love this story. Everything in it is so.. well done. In every way imaginable. The interactions and reactions of all the characters for these turn of events, its phenomenal how well you made them all stay withing character. All I can say is Bravo, and great job! :D
Psi-liloquy chapter 1 . 7/8/2010
I agree with you on how the game makes you a puppet in regards to Dart's love life. I really do wish the game had given you that option, just to show how the game could have gone.

You did an absolutely exceptional job in expressing the emotions fighting within Dart, but I was put off a little by Rose's sudden admission that she is the Black Monster. It worked dramatically, but I don't think it would have come out that way in reality.

I really enjoyed reading this and I'd love to see a continuation of the story, showing the characters' emotions and everything. Maybe Dart accompanies Rose to Neet and you could have a scene there. And when Dart finds out Shana is the Moon Child, will he try to help his love destroy her?

So many options. Please continue!
Hobohunter chapter 1 . 7/3/2010
I always thought Rose and Dart should get together... I don't know why, I just always thought they fit together.

Also I never like Shana... XD Thank God Miranda replaced her in the later half.

Nice job on this one, I enjoyed reading it :)
Starcalista chapter 1 . 6/12/2010
I really love this! I too agree that Dart should go with Rose, and in the beginning he only saw Shana as a baby sister, and according to me she's a bit annoying... ;P

So I really really love this story of yours, and I also love how you potrayed them...

Star
Nadia Blackrose chapter 1 . 6/3/2010
First and foremost, I agree with your author notes completely : it's more than obvious that the creators of the game tried really hard to force Dart and Shana become a couple. I mean, Dart considered Shana a baby sister, and all of a sudden he's in love with her- that's not natural! Now, on with your story : I loved the part when you mentioned that Dart wasn't really unconscious when Rose was holding him in that cave. One of my all time favourite scenes of the game, you gave that moment perfectly only by using a couple of words! You're talented! :)

Also, I loved the fact that you used some dialogues from the game, it seems you enjoyed it a lot! But not only that, the dialogues you made up on your own fit very well the personalities of the characters! All in all, it was a deep, well written and detailed fic full of emotions! Well done! :)
le stylo chapter 1 . 5/30/2010
i liked this a lot. it annoyed me too because i found Shana annoying throughout the story and she wasnt even really THERE. and its not only the NPC's that regard them as couple. Even the playanle characters, Albert, Meru... and sometimes the others hint them as a couple. Rose to me gave more of an indifferent kind of attitude when it came to Dart's relationships.

But I really enjoyed this