|Reviews for Walter and Harry|
| HarkerFire chapter 5 . 1/17
This story keeps getting better the more I read it. I wasn't sure in the beginning, but now I realised it's fab!
Great work! I like the fact that Harry has a lot of siblings, and I think you chose really cool names too. Damon and Myra are the best ones, in my opinion. Walter is a name I've always hated, so it suits the boy in this story.
A bit more dialogue would be nice as there isn't much, but overall it's really good.
| Moka-girl chapter 1 . 10/13/2014
Well, except for the paragraphs which are slightly too long for my taste, to the point where often I get bored and skip them, and the rather unoriginal title, the story has potential.
| geetac chapter 15 . 9/23/2014
I like the chapters
| ProcrastinationIsMyCrime chapter 15 . 9/1/2014
I remember this one! One of the first I read actually. Wow it's be ages
| HellIsHere chapter 13 . 10/27/2013
You came and reviewed my story, picking up on a couple of my oversights, which, in all fairness, you were correct about (apart from John understanding snakes - read year 2 for that). But before you start nit-picking other people's stories, make yours a little more engaging.
By that, I mean changing the style from what is basically a wall of statements, with intermittent bits of dialogue to an actual narrative.
I commend your efforts on trying to make an interesting story, and the plot isn't all that bad, but it's too monotonous in its style.
| Princess Eon chapter 15 . 3/7/2013
Please oh please oh please continue if you don't I might explode
| Abby Potter 318 chapter 15 . 12/28/2012
I think that this was a very original idea. My brother has autism and I can see where Harry is coming from. I really like the idea of Lily and James having so many kids. I think it would be funny if the Potters turned out like the Duggars. If he does, Harry should help with the birth of the child/children.
| kkkmkmkmk chapter 7 . 7/13/2012
that's a lot of kids..
| The-Resident chapter 15 . 5/18/2012
Interesting story with some original sub-plots. I look forward to reading future chapters.
| angelsarah22 chapter 2 . 4/23/2012
No offense or anything, but I had to stop reading because there was no speech, she said, he said etc. It gets very boring
| CheeseTheThimbleSneeze chapter 1 . 4/20/2012
I just want you to know that this isn't a story that draws people in. I've come across this story multiple times but this is the first time I've actually bothered to read it, simply because the summary, "Harry had a twin called Walter who was thought to be the boy who lived but it was Harry. James was a problem but on the whole Harry was well cared for," isn't an interesting summary at all. It sounds like something from a one-sentence answer of a question on a homework assignment about a book you had to read in class but really didn't want to and watched the movie instead. Not to mention that I almost stopped reading past, "On 31 October 1981 twin fifteen month old boys were playing on the floor in the living room with their parents when a very unwelcome person came to the house. The boys were Harry and Walter Potter." It's not an interesting sentence, and this one sounds like something from a very poorly written expository essay by a fifth grader who didn't care enough to re-draft it. I did actually stop reading and exit (though I did come back to give you this review) after the second paragraph, "Their father James told their mother 'Lily, take the boys and go and I will hold him off'. As they knew who the intruder was. He was a very dark wizard and they had been in hiding from him but he must have been told where they were by a person they trusted." You just gave away something you could have used for foreshadowing to keep the readers interested! Any good author knows not to do that! I highly suggest that you start this story over and actually put some life into it if you want readers to be satisfied by the time they're done reading it. If you want this to be a boring, monotonous statement-fest with nothing interesting about it whatsoever, leave it as it is.
| TheLycanLovegoodChronicles chapter 1 . 4/7/2012
Yay! I have a Nana Rose too, but we just call her Nana, and she isn't my real Nan either, she's my cousin's Nan on my Uncle's side while I'm on my Aunties. But she treats me the same as my cousins, her real Grandchildren. Sorry I ramble a lot. Good story so far :)
| Fallenangel700 chapter 9 . 1/20/2012
I’m not trying to be mean but this doesn’t really seem like a story, it seems like you are just stating facts with a bit of dialogue thrown in.
Don’t get me wrong it is a great story but you constantly use "Said" instead of using other variations it gets a little repetitive in a scene for instance right near the top of this chapter
Walter said, James said, Remus said, Harry said all within the first 13 lines with the only exclusion of this being "Lily asked".
I know this seems like I’m being really picky and mean and I will willingly admit. I am not a good writer so it seems kind of hypocritical to complain about your writing but it gets kind of repetitive to read after a while.
P.S thought you should know in case you didn’t realize you aren’t accepting anonymous reviews
| bubzchoc chapter 15 . 1/2/2012
| kittykatkitkat chapter 14 . 9/15/2011