|Reviews for Commedia|
| Flayne chapter 1 . 7/15/2013
| RainbowSkittlePuffs chapter 1 . 9/2/2010
My god, I would KILL to see Suzaku say that to Lelouch on stage. It was really sexy just reading it! Good job.
| RemindsmeofaWestSideStory chapter 1 . 5/19/2010
XD Nice job! Totally didn't even see that ending coming. I laughed
| X-Potion chapter 1 . 5/8/2010
I've noticed from a large number of your fics that you have a habit of over-feminizing Lelouch. It is reasonable to assume that he'd be bashful on the topic of sex, yes, but you... sort of take it a bit too far. It's difficult to pin down the exact areas in which this becomes too much, unfortunately, otherwise I'd point it out to you. Er, either way, work on toning that down and I think your fics will benefit immensely.
Apart from that, your Lelouch needs more formal/intelligent-sounding speech. The line "'Oh god, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!' Lelouch said bitingly. 'Or in other words, shut up, idiot.'" is good IN PART, for instance. I say "in part" because the "Or in other words" etc. bit is, I think, a bit too... abruptly casual? I think it'd work better if he simply delivered the line and then waited for Suzaku to ask for clarification before giving the Shakespeare-to-idiot translation. Along this same vein, the lines "'In sooth, I know not why I am so stressed,' Lelouch quipped, smiling wryly. 'Oh, wait. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Millay. Mystery solved.'" could use some smoothing out. The transition's just a bit too... well, again, abrupt. It seems like Lelouch would occupy more of a middle ground in terms of his speech patterns.
... And yeah, okay, I'm really nitpicking for something that was a response to a kink meme prompt, BUT... I like a lot of your fics and think you have a ton of potential. You just need to work a bit on refining Lelouch's voice. :b Looking forward to what you turn out next.
| luckless-is-me chapter 1 . 5/7/2010
I'm going to be honest and say the end of this made me extremely happy~! LOL
Lelouch would look so cute in skirts!