Reviews for First Time Failure
Lolo84 chapter 1 . 12/4/2011
That was awesome! Cause yeah seriously most peoples first time are awkward and painful as hell! No orgasms and seeing stars and whatnot!
jmolly chapter 1 . 10/5/2011
Holy crow that was funny. I almost expected them to be linked long-term by vaginisimus and end up with Chief Swan and his flashlight outside the car window. lol

I enjoyed your o/t for the FLLS compilation, so here I am. Thanks for writing.
romanceaholic chapter 1 . 6/24/2011
Cute. Funny. Screaming Clenching. I felt for Edward, Thought he was losing his manhood. Glad Bella finally took the chance later to get back on that horse and try it again. Seems like it worked out just fine and dandy.
LauralHill chapter 1 . 4/30/2011
I'm one of the lucky girls who didn't really have much of a hymen by the time I got around to intercourse, but my first time was like "why bother? "

Good story!
meadow11 chapter 1 . 1/6/2011
loved it!
cycah chapter 1 . 10/23/2010
I hope this isn't how it really goes! *horror*
mutemockingjay chapter 1 . 7/20/2010

First off, feel ya on the 'not being used to writing comedy' thing. Angst ftw~

But you did an amazing job with the comedy here. Made me laugh out loud quite a lot, and while my...first experience was not quite as...traumatizing as it was for poor Bella and Edward, you captured the awkwardness of that situation really, really well. Especially the emotions afterwards- the confusion and miscommunication.

I am really enjoying your fics so far, and I think you're a brilliant author. :)

sleeptalker1 chapter 1 . 6/18/2010
Nicely done - it was just what you said funny/awkward/cute first time sex - quite accurate as well lol
meimei42 chapter 1 . 5/26/2010
Not lame at all! It was awkward as hell, but I think that was the point. Awesome job, hon, sorry it took me so long to read. I had it saved in my mailbox for far too long!
sunfleur chapter 1 . 5/23/2010
That was hilarious! Ah memories of my first time. Good thing it only happens once! Great o/s!
KarenSanDiego chapter 1 . 5/11/2010
Aw, bb. You're too hard on yourself. I think it captured that awkwardness and handed-down expectations that we all had with the first time.
Ef-Ef-Addict chapter 1 . 5/11/2010
haha i loved this so funny :)

my favorite line by far was edward saying its sink or swim time and for the first time i hope to sink and that nothing swims :) great job :)
pippapear chapter 1 . 5/10/2010
I LOVED this!

It was so cute, & funny.

I wanted to clip Edward around the ear a few times through it. BUt there were so many cute moments. Like when he caught the kiss she blew him. Or when he was thinking that when he marries her he can't kiss her - just shake her hand... LOL. I snorted a bit at that before i realised how cutey it was... . .

I love Bella grabbing the bull by the horns as it were at the end & how Edward deffo's got over his reservations/hesitations . .

Very cute. I love how they blundered through.

thanks for this. I love your writing. I cannot wait till I can read BH again! (no pressure though!)

Lotsa love.


x x x x
HopeStreet chapter 1 . 5/8/2010
I think people forget just how much it hurts the first time because it does feel a heck of a lot better the second time and every time after. I can totally understand Bella feeling like she was lied to and not really wanting to do it again, but teenage hormones usually kick in and win out. That was a completely enjoyable, imperfect, and believable coupling!
EdwardsVampTramp chapter 1 . 5/8/2010
Well done, my Dear! *stands and whistles* But I have to disagree with you...I don't consider this your cherry popping for comedy. Yes, this is a comedy and yes, you do write angst, but even in your angsty stories, you write ALOT of comedy within them. And I find myself always laughing uncontrollably during many of them (especially BH). The internal dialogues you give the characters in those stories always have me spitting some sort of liquid out of my mouth or shooting out of my nose. (I'm going to need a new computer monitor shortly at this rate!) So yes, you should be proud of yourself for this little O/S, but again, you've always written comedy as beautifully as you write angst. You need to give yourself a little more credit. *wink*

There were quite a few gems in here that were too precious not to mention...

'He chuckled to himself as it occurred to him that this was one of the few occasions in life where you desperately wanted to sink, and you prayed for nothing to swim.'

'He was locked and loaded and sighted in; all he had to do now was squeeze the trigger.'

'She wanted off the ride. Or rather, she wanted the ride off her.'

Again...congratulations and I hope we'll continue to see you flex your writing talents. After all, it's authors such as you that keep the streets of my little city safe, much like BINGO keeps the streets clear of senior citizens. :)

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