|Reviews for A Patrol Changes Everything|
| Guest chapter 5 . 9/17/2013
First off, let me say that I really like this fic so far. It's very poignant, and I'm only 5 chapters in. That being said, the main reason I'm leaving a review is to point something out. When reading this chapter, and the previous chapters, I can't help but notice some, well, some gay overtones. I doubt you meant to do it, but I kept getting the feeling that Albus seemed a little too... affectionate, or touchy, than was really appropriate. He seemed lovestruck or something, which is really creepy. Again, I don't think you meant it that way, but that's the way it came off, at least to me. I understand that I might be the only one expressing this opinion, but if other people are also saying this, you might want to look over what you've written.
| Robert E. Lee chapter 48 . 9/9/2013
What a beautiful, well written story! Thank you so much for the read.
| Lucimoon chapter 48 . 9/1/2013
I absolutely loved your story! Can't wait to read more of your work.
| Theblackbook chapter 5 . 8/7/2013
Haha, Snape just stole a kind's drawing.
But I seriously did not get the part about Harry putting a cat under the water tap? English is not my main language, did I translate that wrong? Did he just try to drow a cat?
:I I feel confused..
| Tricia chapter 48 . 8/1/2013
I really enjoyed this! It was nice to see a well crafted story that had plot, character development and a real ending! Thank you for sharing it with us.
| Himawari-no-Ichizoku chapter 5 . 7/28/2013
"Fawkes has mated with one of Hagrid's flobberworms Albus. What do you think he'll name the new species?"
What the fuck Fawkes?
| Guest chapter 48 . 7/22/2013
Amazing story! Read this all day travelling. You truly are a talented and fantastic writer :)) Gar x
| lastcrazyhorn chapter 16 . 7/17/2013
Severus relaxed there, observing the domestic scene, while idly wondering what it would be like to be in Potter's place, so trusting at Albus' knee, for a little while.
| lastcrazyhorn chapter 13 . 7/17/2013
"You will stay out here, play with that ball and mind me, you better had enjoy it."
| lastcrazyhorn chapter 4 . 7/16/2013
Fine. I'll just bawl this entire chapter.
| lastcrazyhorn chapter 2 . 7/16/2013
| SilveSun chapter 28 . 7/4/2013
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 2 . 7/3/2013
Ooh, nice fuzzy startof imagery. And leads nicely from the previous chapter as well. And good use of senses there; it shows things coming into better focus without relying on something unreliable like eyesight (which for Harry is more so without his glasses).
Singing souls? Now that’s something that belongs in a poem.
[can confirm that they were less than three hours old, well within the time prefects were supposed to be patrolling.] – the two parts of that statement are actually contradictory. Let’s say the curfew is at 10pm. The prefects then should be patrolling till 11pm. Albus found Harry at 1am, so if the injuries were less than three hours old, they could have taken place anywhere between 10pm and 1am, leaving two hours where the prefects were not present. I think what you meant was “more” than three hours.
Ouch, Albus certainly was harsh. But everyone needed a wake-up call by the looks of things, so I guess it wasn’t ill-placed. Again, most of the subjectivity appears to be related to the Albus omnipresent POV, which in this case can be a little risky. I’m curious to see how you’ll balanced that out in the rest of the fic.
And that sounds a little odd for Hermione. I would think she'd claim her own points first. :) She is rather competitive.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
[It wasn't a well known fact, indeed most considered it just another fable passed on to each successive generation of Hogwarts students.] – I think a semicolon would go there better than a comma, since they read as separate phrases even if the second follows on from the first. Though definitely an attention-grabbing first sentence; a spin on the usual “this was unusual” setting.
I like how you beat around the bush in the first paragraph; each of those possibilities would be completely crazy in a real life setting but in the Harry Potter fanverse could turn out to be completely plausible.
[No it wasn't the] – should have a comma after “No.” … actually, you’ve got a few rogue commas so I’ll just leave it at that.
Ooh, nice portrayal of Albus there. Reminds me of the Pokemon episode with the Noctowl using Hypnosis to appear like a tiny Pidgey. Anyway, it does wonders for his character, especially since he so often gets the short end of the stick. And I also like how you had that first section very general, slowly leading into a specific plot almost like telling a legend…which you’ve made this into, in a sense.
Albus was quite perceptive. Makes you wonder just how close of an eye he had been keeping on the Dursleys. And he’s quite good at the comforting department, even if he still has the awkwardness that comes with switching age and lack of experience in certain departments. Sort of like a fairy-god mother or a guardian angel I should think. Harry comes off a little extra meek compared to the books, but this is omnipresent Albus’ POV so I guess that’s to be expected.
And Albus does seem far more sympathetic here. I suppose it’s all the extra contact with the students. :)
| Guest chapter 48 . 7/2/2013
This is actually my third reading of this story. You are a very in depth and complicated author. WELL DONE! I love the relationship you threaded between Albus, Severus and Harry. I also loved the story line . Thanks