|Reviews for Mahou Tenkousei Sora?|
| Guest chapter 18 . 5/6/2014
Make him go dark soda already cause it's awesome and he's a badass
| vokun chapter 13 . 5/6/2014
Well that last bit was messed up
| Vahn chapter 1 . 2/28/2014
./takes a deep breath.
I like your story, I like it's flow, I like the character all of them analogues of the FF characters and all. Simply put you made a true KH original cross over and it WOULD have been the best once had you not had all those typos.
Some readers are story snobs and big misspelling would make them drop your story. I would say had you clean up all your grammars and misspelling your review would have been in the thousand by now.
Simply put you wrote emotionally and published it. I get it, I sometime get like that myself. That however hurt your story badly in the eyes of the readers and so only those that truly want a great story power through it and auto corrected it in our minds ourselves.
Pros that I liked.
Sora in the Negima universe. Some of your review suggested Sora should act different but they forget, Sora usually blend in with his surroundings or whatever world he land on. In this case it's the Ken Akumastu world. Nose bleeds, panty shot, misunderstandings and and betting uppercut by girls into the stratospheres?
Well THEM BE THE RULES of Negima world. Sora landed on his world he play by their rules , it's a simple thing and I understand it.
I love the girls you have going for Sora, this is a REAL sora in Negima world fic or any fic really instead of a Sora INTRUDING on said world and taking over the main character role. See how Sora worked along side Ariel or others? Well guess what, he's doing the same with Negima.
Ariel still fell in love with the prince per the story , well Negima still get his girls however what makes things different? Sora enemies intruding on the new world and in this case you have Sora cast intruding on Negima world.
It works and you did a brilliant JOB of it. I was very impressed. Sora also tend to be a flirt and lover. Case in point Chain of memories, even Donald and Goofy knows sora get sappy around girls.
In my opinion he deserve that harem.
Now onto the Cons:
The most obvious blemished would be the misspelling of words like Lesion /listen etc etc. Nothing can be done about that, and seeing that date on that story it's too late for a beta now. Otherwise I might volunteer to do the whole thing from the ground up so you can re-release this properly.
The other thing I found...I guess you can say distasteful for me is the fluctuation in power for Sora. He's a fighter , in that regards he should be like the Thousand master with magic as supplement skills. He also have reaction commons so his reflex should be good. He should be pretty high level in terms of raw power but he got trounce by Dyemx of all people. That one pushed by suspension of belief a bit.
I am of course not advocating god mode Sora but I would have like them to see him in his drive form actually pushing the fight in some way.
I know this is 2 years too late but great job on the story. Hope you get back to this, do you think if you don't mind if You can PM me with how this story was suppose to go?
| enigma95 chapter 2 . 1/22/2014
hmmm... for some reason reading this is making my head hurt the text i mean but oh well i'm sure i can cope up w/ it
| enigma95 chapter 1 . 1/22/2014
... wow this sora looks too different and he says too much OOCness ahahhahahahahahaah
| Sornek chapter 18 . 9/10/2012
I've to admit that this is a really good story, but in my opinion there are some things that don't add too well.
First, dear lord sora can throw freaking buildings away, without using magic, as seen kh2 during the first part of the final battle with xemnas, can hold his ground against sephirot and doesn't faze when he have to face an army of thousand heartless (damn it's too easy that one, why they didn't put at least one behemot), and while he is one of the good guys, he doesn't show sympathy for his enemies, heck he readly beats sense in riku.
Second you are making him seem too much as an akamatsu character, yes a bit of pervy and misunderstunding situations are good, but he is a really spontaneus guy that hardly makes other step on him and he his good explain himself.
And at last he have too little interaction with negima cast other than asuna, negi and konoka and a bit too much with the oc, it's almost seem that the major part of the oc girls will end up in liking sora, as the major part of the negima girls likes negi.
you should really get a better idea of the power level of the characters, mostly for sora, after all he saved his reality twice, going even against the organization and maleficent and i would tier them at ala rubra level, konoemon even stated that sora could give nagi a run for his money, yet while he pratically waltzed through setzuna fight, in the other two he struggled too much, in the last he didn't even use any of his sword techniques. i don't say of making him a god that doesn't find trouble at all, but the fight against tsubaki, to me was a bit one sided on her part.
By the way i really like your story and i can't wait the next chapter. see ya
p.s.: obviously all i've wrote is strictly IMHO. :P
| the boss99 chapter 13 . 8/2/2012
Great story! I've been reading it since it first started. What's the update on the story's status.
| Deadzepplin chapter 2 . 11/11/2011
Needs less words in bold
| Hyp3rB14d3 chapter 18 . 11/8/2011
This fic is pretty good. It's by far the best Kingdom Hearts fic I've read (granted, I haven't read that many) and is an okay Negima fic. I'd put it in the top five ongoing fanfics that I follow.
The Negima characters retain their original personalities and the duplicates are consistent. Sora has seemed a little off for a while, but Vanitas's presence explains that. I'm not sure where you got the name of Sora's style of swordsmanship from, but it sounds cool. There are quite a few original characters in the duplicates, but you've managed to give all of them personalities distinct enough to keep them from feeling like extraneous extras.
I have noticed that Negi gets overshadowed by Sora pretty badly. This seems to be partly because everything that happens to him is basically the same as in canon, while Sora's story is new. If possible, you might want to see what you can do about that. Negi has 10 new students in his class that weren't present in the original story, but they've all basically ignored him. The other new characters might not interact with Negi much, but it's a little odd for all ten of his new students not to interact with him at all outside of brief greetings (especially since they apparently interact with the original students fairly often). Even when they are present, they tend to either stay in the background, or only interact with each other or the original 31 students.
Likewise, Sora hasn't done much interacting with the original students of A-2/A-3 outside of the occasions he meets them while they're with Negi. He's interacted with Setsuna once when he dueled her, there was that incident with Howaido and Aikuchi hanging out with him and taking their friends along for the day, and he's had a few run-ins with the twins. And I think that's all of the interactions he's had with the original 31 members of 2-A/3-A when not in Negi's presence (not counting Asuna).
That said, I would like to congratulate you on giving Sora a separate set of relationships from Negi. All too often, when crossovers occur where one character moves to another world, the immigrant character just ends up joining the group of main characters of the world they moved to and forming relationships identical to those of the other members if the group they joined. Your version of Sora didn't just end up as another generic member of Ala Alba and instead made his own friends and enemies.
It's good to hear you have a beta-reader lined up. While far from the most difficult to read fanfic I've come across, you make a lot of mistakes with homonyms (words that sound like other words when read out loud, but mean different things, such as here and hear). You also tend to use commas where they aren't necessary. Hopefully your beta reader will help catch those mistakes.
| black-ace-rockman chapter 18 . 9/29/2011
awesome! so awesome! i can't wait sora what will do next now that his dark side appeared. keep up with the chapter dude!
| Guest chapter 18 . 9/29/2011
Beutiful... just Beutiful. This is the kind of story that keeps me addicted to fanfiction. Well thought out, complete charecters, mantaining the leveles of power to be even and entertaining without one side being blown completly out of the water, enough of the original elements that we fell in love with but enough new ideas to keep us riveted and entertained. Great Attention to detail. You've definitly earned a fan in me and i can't wait to see what you come up with next. this story is is truly a great read and a credit to fanfiction everywere. i sincerly hope that you that you keep up the good work becase this is the kind of story that begs to be continued. thank you for this treasure and good luck.
| Nameless chapter 18 . 9/14/2011
Sorry to bother you with a double post, but I thought this might help show what I was talking about when it comes to Sora's power level(remove spaces)
outskirtsbattledome. / CharacterProfile-Sora
| Nameless chapter 18 . 9/12/2011
First, I know you said you have a Beta now so i'm hoping this stops, but you need to work on your spelling an grammar. It's not to the point where the story is unreadable (thankfully because this is an interesting story) but there are a lot of problems that detract from the overall effect (ex: you keep using "dose" instead of "does")
Second, I noticed Windraider's post, and I would have to say I agree with him, you seem to be really underplaying Sora. With the current enemies Sora should be doing much better than he has. Keep in mind, this is the guy who took down Organization XIII. He has the ability to defeat powerful opponents and the experience to deal with tricky ones (remember Xigbar? The sniper who F**king teleports?). Yet for some reason he seems to be having trouble dealing with the Xion expo who probably wasn't even going all out. Now this would be one thing if he was trying not to hurt her, then I could see Vanitas's screwing with him causing him to let her get in a lucky shot. But the thing is, he has no reason to do so. He is not close to Tsubaki, and he never even met Xion, and even if he was, she hurting innocent people and trying to kill one of his friends, which should give Sora more than enough motivation to kick her ass six ways to sunday.
Your story is pretty good, but you have to work on your spelling/grammar issues and you NEED to get a better handle on Sora's power level before you break the audience's suspension of disbelief.
| 28Werewolf chapter 18 . 8/27/2011
Not bad, but I'm a bit saddened how Sora didn't have more time to deal with either Evangeline or Chachamaru. Does Sora always have to deal with someone that resembles a Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy character?
| Windraider chapter 18 . 8/26/2011
Okay now this chapter was really messed up. What I'm about to say is hard, but this is the cold hard truth, if your a real writer, take it, if not just turn your eyes and keep making mistakes, your choice.
Seriously, you've been messing up and mocking Sora's level of power for a very long time.
Even without magic, Sora's level of power should be far above most Mahora beings at the moment.
And don't forget Laxerne or whatever her name is called. She can do Negi's goddamn Raiden Shundo along with clones, and even then he can still keep up.
Then even without magic, he should still have skills like Dual, Explosion, finishing plus, glide at incredible speeds and more.
Seriously. Even if you want to respect Negima, that's no excuse to lower his power so much just so you could make one side look good.
And not mention Sora is damn OOC here.
How many human lookalikes and real humans have he actually fought?
Hell he didn't even hesitate to bring his keyblade down on Riku, and he was his best friend.
And you think he's going to do so for some stranger? Seriously?
The main complaint for this story so far.
Is grammer, and clear favourism. You clearly Favour Negima far more then KH, and because of that, you make Sora both weaker and OOC just for that.