|Reviews for Max's sister, Skyler, is back|
| Heart on a Postcard chapter 6 . 12/18/2010
A ? ! *CRY* PLEASE SHORTER I LOVE IT IM OBSSESED AND I JUST READ IT TODAY 3
| simplyme99 chapter 1 . 12/18/2010
| stelianqueen chapter 5 . 12/18/2010
Bad: Max's sister is cliched. It's on my list of MR cliches. It's been done WAY too often.
Good: At least, Dylan falling for her IS different. Thank goddness he isn't being bashed.
Bad: Speaking of that, Dylan's NOT going to suddenly realize he was made for Skyler. No. That isn't ever going to happen. Dylan is made for Max. Dr. G-H said so. And he's out of character. Very.
Bad: What, is Fang her brother or something? Really? How the crap are Max and Fang related?
Bad: Your grammar's off. First, commas. Whenever there's a short pause in a sentence, you need a comma. Such as: "Maximum Ride that is no reason to smack your sister." is read as: "Maximum Ride (pause) this is no reason to smack your sister." In that short pause, you need a comma. Try reading your chapters out loud before posting them.
Second, dialogue. Anytime the speaker tag is _ said, or any said synonym, the word after the quotation marks is lowercase if it isn't a proper noun. Such as: "Hi!" said Mary, or "Where are you?" he asked. Also, whenever the speaker tag is in said format, if the punctuation before the quotation marks should be a period, it is actually a comma. So, it would be: "They are coming," Angel told me. Not with a period.
Remember, though: if there's an action after the quotes, keep that normal.
Bad: I highly doubt, after being isolated and tested on for YEARS, Skyler would be happy and sarcastic. She'd be feral, and probably wouldn't have very high intelligence. Don't take the Flock as an exanple, because that was very badly executed in the books.
Bad: I'm very confused about Skyler. WHY wouldn't Jeb break her out with the rest of them? Did he magically forget her? And why is she with the Flock now?
Bad: Never. Beg. For. Reviews. Or not write until you get a certain amount. (42 is WAY too much to ask for. I've been writing since February and have a total of 18 total reviews for 8 stories. They don't pop up overnight.)
Please. The Maximum Ride fandom doesn't need more crap.
| alexadria345 chapter 4 . 11/16/2010
cool disclamer mwahaahaawhaa
| Backhanded By Tragedy chapter 4 . 11/11/2010
NO LEMON'S! But u can update! :)
| UPDATE NOW chapter 3 . 5/16/2010
UPDATE SOON. BTW DYLAN IS HOT.
| 8 chapter 3 . 5/15/2010
What happened to Jeb? did he get put in a full body cast?
| bees buzz chapter 3 . 5/14/2010
I love your story everyone knows Max needs a sister.