Reviews for Birth of a Legend
GeezerWench chapter 1 . 1/18/2012
That was pretty darn good!

Legends have to start somewhere, right?

Descriptive and well written.
unknown reader chapter 1 . 3/9/2011
Great story plot need to write a story of her child and how it afected joham when she died.
Slinkiee chapter 1 . 1/21/2011
Damn, that was powerful.
Sky Zorander chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
This deserves WAY more than the 12 reviews it has. What an amazing story! Your description is right on, not too much, not too little, just enough to give a perfect picture of the scene. The cliffhanger makes me crave more from this story. I wish this were more than a one-shot!
TwilightFan888 chapter 1 . 1/9/2011
this is pretty good! are you going to continiou?
HammerHips chapter 1 . 12/28/2010
I love this because it really shows your writing range. It's a beautiful, descriptive piece that's heartwrenching at the end. I absolutely adore it! More peeps should read it, srsly. *glares at the peeps*
arohalee chapter 1 . 6/14/2010
Fantastically written, I don't normally read FF where Bella isn't the lead but I currently reading The Quiet Room (love it) and curiosity snagged me.
WitheringRedRoses chapter 1 . 6/9/2010
I loved the end, even if it was sad. But, I'm sad to say I skipped past this each time I saw it. But, after reading another one of your stories, I decided to give this a try. Glad I did.
forestbellesy chapter 1 . 6/5/2010
That was an amazingly good story. Thumbs up!
roon0 chapter 1 . 6/2/2010
This was a fine piece of story telling. For a moment I was in the jungle with them, excellent.
AlteredLionsSacrificialLambs chapter 1 . 6/2/2010
Our recommendation as posted to our blog at:

.com

Well, the other Lambs are taking a day off today, so I’m using this as my opportunity to sneak in and steal dibs on my favorite entry - and winner of Lambs' Choice! - from our contest! *evil laugh*

Well, I was immediately intrigued when I saw the author used Joham. For those who don’t remember who Joham is, he is Nahuel’s father – the one who impregnated human women and spawned the half breeds.

When I read the summary, I was even more curious. At first, I thought it would be a love story. You know, something happened to his first love or she spurned him or something of that sort that made him the way he is, etc. But I was, again, pleasantly surprised. She actually kept true to what you would think of him. He is a self-serving vampire with no thought for anyone but himself and stumbles upon something unexpected.

It starts out with Joham watching a small village of Bora natives near the water in the jungle. Due to the location and the fact this must have occurred at least 100 years ago, though I suspect a bit more than that, the author describes the village as you would imagine it to be, with undiscovered natives who live off the land. They stay near the water, for obvious reasons, and use the rain forest for hunting and gathering.

When Joham first sees Anil, she is arguing which one of the native men. He is at first curious about their spat, imagining feasting on them as a way to end their quarrel, but he waits. When Anil runs to the river in tears, something makes her look up and she sees him. He watches her and is captivated by her – as much as a man like Joham can be, anyway.

He decides to have her, but for more than his usual feast. I get the impression he often slakes his carnal thirsts on his female victims before letting the bloodlust overcome him. After seeing Anil, he gorges himself for a while, silently watching her while building up his resistance to the blood lust that would arise during his taking of her body.

After first seeing Joham across the riverbed, Anil is often there, waiting for him to return, and she thinks of a local legend about a perfect man who comes from the water to seduce women and leave them with his fatherless child. She believes Joham to be this man and is unable to resist his allure, even from the single sight of him.

Of course, as you can imagine, the story proceeds to where Joham has his way with Anil without killing her. Who doesn’t like a juicy lemon, right? But he lets her go afterward and she returns to her village, impure but alive. She is punished for her actions by her father, who realizes what happened by the bruises on her body, but still she continues to sit by the river to wait for him to return.

When he does, it’s to find Anil being attacked. Swiftly tossing the attacker aside, Joham takes Anil and is surprised to find she is pregnant by him.

This story is written in the third person, which is not seen too often in fanfiction, but it’s very well done. She adds enough imagery to give you the scene, and even though it’s a short story, she does very well at giving you a feel for the characters. Joham is spectacularly evil and I love it. No pussy vampire here!

The only negative I can think of for this story is that I wish there was more of it. The ending, while good, seemed a little shorter than I would have liked. I was so intrigued by the story and would have loved to have seen more of Joham and Anil’s actual interaction after discovering she was pregnant.
Rosella Whitlock chapter 1 . 6/1/2010
Wow. Just wow. Much love to you for this one. It was beautiful.
GraceAdieu chapter 1 . 5/25/2010
This is very well written, really captivating. Good job!
Lucky.In.Kentucky chapter 1 . 5/11/2010
I like it. I like that you chose a less than obvious character. good job!
mc7575 chapter 1 . 5/11/2010
Wonderful, love the way you described the scenery. Characters are strong and extremely well composed. You have magic imagination! :-)