|Reviews for Children of Oblivion|
| Guest chapter 11 . 3/23/2013
PLZ FINISH THIS IT'S AWSOME! :3
| PhantomaCourage chapter 11 . 12/2/2012
I again was too lazy to log on but I'm asking can I continue this story for you I have great ideas and I am willing to do this story in order to help you with the reviewers so please look me up and please respone to me if you don't then okay but I will always be happy to continue a fantastic story like yours get completed.
Phantoma. ;3 I know you can finish this if u try!
| ArtThouStupid chapter 11 . 10/25/2011
I hope you continue this story, it's really good!
| Pebby chapter 11 . 5/19/2011
| MegaKiraraLover chapter 1 . 8/9/2010
okay, before i start this review, i just want to warn you that i am going to give you constructive criticism. THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE A FLAME. i cruise this site specificly to help people with their writing, and that's what i'm doing here. so. let's begin.
the story sounds promising enough, but i can't seem to read it with the writing all scrunched up as it is. i mean, i can, but it's uncomfortable and i'm honestly not interested in this enough to want to try. try starting a new paragraph whenever someone new speaks.
also, make sure you use capitalization and correct punctuation. it's almost as annoying to ignore those as it is not to space things correctly. capitalize whenever someone says something and make sure you have punctuation inside of the quotes, "Just like this!" there shouldn't be a period after a quote, nor a comma. it should be inside the quotations.
i'm...not sure about your characterizations. they all sound pretty generic to me, but that might be just because i haven't read any farther. i won't say anything more on that.
anyway, i hope you take this as constructive criticism and not a flame. i'm here to help, not hinder. feel free to respond if you have any questions.
-MKL, signing out.
"Any sound can shake the air. My voice shakes the heart." -Sho Minamimoto, The World Ends With You (NDS)
| itsolive chapter 1 . 8/4/2010
You should really pu them in different paragraphs, chapter 2, 3 and probably more(didn't go past 3) needs more paragraphs, don't scrunch it all up
| DaniPotterLovesGod chapter 2 . 5/15/2010
I think the chapters could be a lot longer. And what's up with the massive paragraphs? Still, I like it.
| Artfox1498 chapter 1 . 5/11/2010
You might wanna add your chapters together for a longer one... Good luck :)
| candinaru25 chapter 1 . 5/11/2010
Well what can I say but... What the Hell?