|Reviews for Secret War Warhammer 40,000|
| BIBOTOT chapter 26 . 3/10
10 out of 10.
Lots of emotion and suspense. The conversation between Attelus and the Farseer is good, too. So, he is a perpetual now, like the Emperor. I feel sorry for anyone opposing him already, having him coming back to hunt them over and over again.
| BIBOTOT chapter 25 . 3/10
10 out of 10.
Great style, nice combat and a lot of Inquisitor-in-action. A few grammatical mistakes, not a big deal.
| BIBOTOT chapter 23 . 12/11/2013
8 out of 10.
This is looking quite good. Except for the short paragraphs which put to much focus on conversation. Nice actions and characters. Hope you continue this.
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/3/2013
This is an excellent fan fic, gripping story coupled with what seems a great deal of insight into the warhammer 40k universe I love it it's a shame you don't have more reviews you certainly deserve it. An interesting choice having the protagonist start of seeming incompetent not helpless he is a highly trained killer after all but still unable to save what he wants. Then having him under the heel of yet another being that controlled his first mistress keep writing it would be a shame for this to end on chapter 22
| Kit chapter 20 . 7/18/2013
Very nice descriptions and good plot work. I like this story and shall wait for the next chapter. Great character persanalities.
| BIBOTOT chapter 19 . 12/25/2012
Very nice and detailed characters constructions. Need more descriptions of the surrounding areas, though. Hope you keep up.
| BIBOTOT chapter 17 . 12/9/2012
Reminds me of Eisenhorn and Ravenor.
| BIBOTOT chapter 18 . 12/9/2012
Very decent writing style and quality of reading. Good job.
| BIBOTOT chapter 1 . 12/9/2012
Looking good. Keep up.
| Whirlpool-Maelstrom chapter 14 . 10/3/2011
Uhm, what to say? Well! First things first congratulations in writing such a compeling story, I'm really liking it so far, probably one of this filters best IMO, you have a very solid plot that twists so much you can't actually predict it (well... At least I can't) also you've probably got one of the most interesting POV characters I've ever read and this is no small praise i'd say with all the crappy POV characters out there. So congratulations on writing this i hope to see more from you, not just this one but the more to come in the future I hope.
| Tomking chapter 1 . 9/29/2011
What assasin temple was he trained at because it couldnt possibly be vindicare they can only say a few word ie: Roger, negative, target eliminated, for the emperor, ect... Only stuff that involves their job. Also a company of space marines sure not like their SUPER SOLIDERS who have two hearts and have a gland in their mouth that produces acid so they can chew threw metal.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/21/2011
Its chaos not kaos u cunt
| ClickaholicAnonymous chapter 1 . 5/28/2010
Quick review here, as I didn't have time to finish the entire first chapter, although that's not a bad thing. I caught a few grammar errors here and there as well as a few mix-ups, and I want to clarify a couple things for you: Las gun is actually supposed to be spelled lasgun, and most weapons aren't named unless they are holy relics (usually only Inquisitors, Space Marines, and Imperial Guard commanders have these weapons)
I will try and finish reading as soon as I can.
| Lord Magos Jadinar chapter 1 . 5/14/2010
Very good, lots of imagery and description, good character detail as well. I might suggest that you add a intro into your first chapter as it sort of jumps into the fighting, which isn't bad, but you do don't really explain why the conflict is occuring at all or what location the characters are at or why they are there. Besides that gj
| Pixo chapter 4 . 5/13/2010
"I am not a partier I'm an assassin who kills people for a living" ... heh!
I'm just now joining this story, and its an excellent story! You write very well, even more so when you considering the first person aspect of the tale. You have a clear picture of your characters and you present it to us neatly. Good character voices too - each person is speak in their own way.
Two things occurred to me, though. Firstly, I have to say, I found it a strain to read. May I suggest you add some section breaks, to ease the readers experience. Breaks would also provide some dramatic tension, which your single, non-stop, narrative doesn't. Secondly, sometimes your characters are curious to me, maybe its on purpose, but they seem rather immature. Especially considering they're assassins. Being unaware and being childlike are two very different things. I would think trained assassins might be unaware of the finer points of Imperial society, but, I can't imagine they'd ever be childlike.
Keep it coming!