Reviews for Avatar Shorts
Guest chapter 4 . 10/4/2011
Other than the extremely negative perspective, it has an interesting story line. I skimmed the story because of the grossly negative attitude. You missed some caps on Karma and there are other puntucation/grammatical errors.

Overall - not my cup of tea.
Bigoldfrog chapter 3 . 10/24/2010
Great short fic.
Melissarocks chapter 2 . 6/1/2010
Hey everyone, I took out "the joke" in my summary. And I know this was crappy writing. Promise I'll do better on my next one.
raincaster chapter 2 . 6/1/2010
I didn't think the 'joke' funny. Just think before you write. There is a wide audience on this site and I think it'd be safe to assume that quite a fair amount of them would be offended by that.

The first story was fair,though the dialogue at times is choppy and unrealistic to the characters. It seems like you rush through the emotions of the story like their minor details when in truth emotion is a BIG part of what can make a story so great.

The second one I found Norm to be way too childish and out of character. Yes, I could see him being upset over Trudy's death and yes, I can see how in some way he could blame Jake as a way to vent, but it wasn't done in a manner that was believable. Screaming "I HATE YOU!" is far to much like a little girl who got in time out for drawing on the walls (sorry for the harsh analogy but you get my point). And it felt very rushed.

You have some interesting ideas, just need to work on presenting them. Make the characters believable in words and actions, and add emotion, and make it real for the reader.
Melissarocks chapter 1 . 5/30/2010
Hey sorry if anyone is offended by the summary but it was just meant as a joke.
I Am Me And I Can Fly chapter 1 . 5/23/2010
its NeytirI not Neytri...just helping out, no offense or anything! This is pretty good!
delete me plz1 chapter 1 . 5/21/2010
it was ok. u can keep writing these if u want but i think ur talent would b put to better use elswhere
Lord Scrambles chapter 1 . 5/15/2010
Not bad. I would recomend quotes in a few more places, and make the dialoge a little smoother, but other than that it was a very good story.
foreverangel1806 chapter 1 . 5/15/2010
Most authors just post the rating of the story and rely on that to show if there are lemons or not. Thank you, however, for your foul language and insulting manner in getting across your point. I think you should delete that part, don't you?

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