Reviews for first breath after coma
ACCT REMOVED chapter 1 . 5/19/2010
So I love Sweeney Todd and I love Mrs. Lovett so I love your story. The second person worked very well I think. Great story :)
parlouslymad chapter 1 . 5/17/2010

This was so incredibly lovely. The entire story flowed beautifully!

My favorite line was definitely the last two.

"Your heart stops, and after an instant, it starts again, pumping new life into your body. You're back, and you'd almost rather be back in your safe haze, where pain and hurt don't exist, but it's too late now, and there's nothing to do but start living again."

AAAHHHH! Sheer brillance.
Snezhinka chapter 1 . 5/16/2010
Short & neat! Second person is quite hard to do, and I think you did it very effectively - it's the most effective perspective to put the reader into the shoes of the character, and yet still make it very personal.

I liked how you put so much in a short space - you even manage to sneak in a Lucy reference :-)! "Respectable Christian woman" kind of sums up Lovett's character for me - maybe you didn't mean it that way, but the fact that she's exactly the opposite makes it ironic and darkly humourous. Same goes for the bit "you stretch the truth a little"...perfectly sums her up.

My favourite part is "..the your chest...that you're coming awake" - a very vivid, relateable image. Shame that "she", Lucy, wasn't given the chance to wake up, too.

Great work! So much in such little space! faving :-)

Love Snezhinka