|Reviews for A New Dawn|
| ReachingTheLost777 chapter 2 . 5/24/2010
this is so interesting
please update soon XD
| Katsy17 chapter 2 . 5/24/2010
awesome! looking forward to more
| Molto Alesato chapter 2 . 5/24/2010
Cool. Though Harry seems to Godmod with his powers.
| aliengirlguy chapter 2 . 5/23/2010
your doing fine it iz, 'ow you say, adi'quit, non?
ok that might be bad, but her accent is something like that. you could always palm off any mistakes on her being part Veela, they probably have their own language. the chappie was good, i just hope you wont have them (harry and remmy) falling into each others arms yet, both thier personalities don't seem to jive with that. also, it would be fun to see the rest of the mutents discover in thier own way that the five are magical. as for luna, i think logan, because she would drive him nuts and it would be interesting to read, or nightcrawler because they seemed to really jive well together as a possible pairing.
| Haunt of twilight chapter 2 . 5/23/2010
Did you need to stop there? I look forward to more. I love that Harry automatically zeroed in on Gambit. I love it and can't wait for the next chapter. As for Fluer's accent...in most stories I've read it's a lot like your interpretation
| splitseconddecision chapter 2 . 5/23/2010
I'm going to offer you some constructive criticism, so please don't take this personally - I think you're moving a bit fast on this. For example, Gambit already knows Harry's his soul mate and is worrying about whether or not Harry will like him... but he hasn't even met him yet. This doesn't really leave much room for developing their relationship, which so far seems to be your main plot point.
Also, I found the whole thing with Luna's and Harry's developing powers a bit too convenient - you don't really go into detail about what troubles their powers have caused. Or rather, you just come out and *tell* the reader what's going on, when it would be more effective to have a few scenes slowly building up to the fact that they are developing un-wizardly powers.
Plus, I notice you've given Harry just about all of the main mutations, some of which could easily be attributed to accidental magic. My suggestion is that if any of these are not essential to the plot, you should nix them. If Harry has all this power, there is a danger of him becoming Mary-Sue-like. No one wants to read about a character who gets all the cool powers and reacts perfectly to every situation - they just aren't all that interesting.
In short: slow down, more complications, give characters some flaws. Otherwise, keep doing what you do. :D
Oh, and about Fleur's accent - my advice is to keep it simple. If you try and do to much with the accent, it pulls the reader's attention away from the actual story. Judging from my experience talking to French exchange students, just drop the "h"s and if you feel it is absolutely *necessary*, replace the "th"s with "z"s. For example: "Don't worry my 'Arry, everyzing will work out just fine. You will see."
Anyway, this is getting long, so I will just say that I hope you don't take offense to my criticisms. :) I really mean well.
| icarys chapter 2 . 5/23/2010
I usually don't write reviews. Actually, this is my first one, and I have been on the site for a few yeas now. I would like to say that this is one of the best written stories I have seen in quite a while. It captures the reader's attention and doesn't let it go. The lack of grammar mistakes makes it extremely easy to read and understand. You have an idea in mind and you are sticking to it. I applaud you for this story.
| brokenangelwings16 chapter 1 . 5/23/2010
plz keep wrting
| koryssa-kory chapter 1 . 5/23/2010
interesting! can't wait to read more! O
| Emperor Vanquest chapter 1 . 5/22/2010
um...How can snape have died in the final battle and then comfort Harry toward the end of the chapter?
| the-bunnys-echo chapter 1 . 5/21/2010
Cool story. I'm glad Harry is leaving with family. Is Snape a ghost? That would be hilarious if he haunted the there's some backlash for all those who betrayed Harry, even Mcgonagal (sp?). Thanks for the story, I look forward to more.
| aliengirlguy chapter 1 . 5/21/2010
great fic! please update soon! oh, and i can really see nightcrawler and Luna, they would be so cute together!
| charlie-becks chapter 1 . 5/19/2010
Does this mean harrys not going to become a healer? Or is he gonna study on his own of do some weird online course type thing? Either way i still love this story an i can't wait for ur update :D
| Undoubtfuly Lost chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
Very interesting start! I love how you went down a more unconventional path (so far) as to how the stories unfolding. I can't wait to see what happens next!
| Rokkis chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
Though a little fast-paced it was an interesting first chapter. Please update