|Reviews for Control|
| WTFWonder chapter 1 . 5/29/2011
You are a virutoso of macabre descriptions and I envy you. The imagery was perfect and was sleek, simple poetry all the way down. Thank you so much for submitting this and please accept my apology for not jumping on this story the minute it was published.
| Kingdom in Flames chapter 1 . 8/27/2010
First. That disclamer scares me.
Second. I really like that this story is written in the second person it adds to the effect quite nicely.
And lastly. Each detail of the fear toxin's effect on the subject made me feel as if I really was the victim.
Very well done and I cant wait for you to write more.
| olivia chapter 1 . 5/19/2010
it takes talent to make someone feel deep horror in such a short that you have.
| Lauralot chapter 1 . 5/19/2010
Okay, this? Is awesome. Usually horror stories written in second person are hard for me to follow, even if they're short, because I always find the emotions and reactions "I'm" meant to be having aren't how I'd actually feel. This, though, is great and completely sucked me in. I imagine this is exactly how Jonathan's therapy sessions would go, before he got to the poisoning and creepiness. And the way he introduced the drug was perfect, as was your description of his twitchiness (particularly when he was described as avian).
In short, awesomesauce.
| Night of the Living Monkey chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
Well, we know what that person was afraid of: leeches and that scene in Indiana Jones where all the Nazis melt.
Seriously though, that's rather nasty. It's neat to get the point of view from one of Crane's patients. I feel bad for them. Making it in second person only adds to the creep factor. Because it's 'you' who's suffering hallucinations. Good show, as usual!
| theatre-gypsy chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
I see that you are a wonderful horror writer! This was just downright creepy. I can imagine the blue of his eyes running down his face, mixing with his melting flesh, and every time I do I look like this - D:
The second person point of view definitely added something, and about that disclaimer? *looks over shoulder* *locks windows*
On the subject of that writing contest: I'd love to see it happen! I've never read the comic (though I should) and know almost nothing about her character, so writing for it is out. Reading, however, would be in. :D
| HoistTheColours chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
Man, this was terrifying. I forgot how much I have enjoyed reading your little one-shots.
The images and sounds you described of what "I" saw (I liked the second-person POV, by the way, ;) is probably the most horrible fear toxin induced description I've ever read in any Scarecrow story. The part about the "my" screams sounding like metal on metal - ugh, that just really got to me.
I loved this. Amazing job!
| AZ-woodbomb chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
That disclaimer scares me.
The description of his twitches are pretty good. The cold doctor that looks down on you and silently mocks you is an uncomfortable figure, but the twitches move him into creepy territory. The head movement completes it.
I like most of the hallucination descriptions but the pizza grease kinda knocked me out of the flow. I understand how it can be icky, but I guess it’s just not my cup of horror. The "screaming is metal on metal" description is awesome. Good stuff.
| Joker'sOnlyFear chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
I agree with the previous reviewer - you described the Begins/TDK version of Crane so well, especially how his personality is reflected in all those little tics of his (these, I'm ashamed to say, I've never really thought about before, but it's actually kind of cool because it reminds me of the Joker as well, and this similarity between two such iconic characters is just awesome). I also agree with the previous reviewer about the patient mentioning that scene in "Indiana Jones" - it fits what the patient was seeing perfectly, so kudos to you both. Oh, and I love your disclaimer, it's so simple yet so creepy, it's nice.
| mushi6618 chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
Totally interested in your contest! (cause I need to work on my horror as well)
This story was creepy and an interesting sight into the BBDK version of Scarecrow, I think you utilized his tributes well. I get the feeling that Crane's patient going to say:
"That scene from Indiana Jones where the Nazi's open up the box and everybody's faces melt off..." XD