|Reviews for Telos|
| Narue-Nara-chan chapter 11 . 4/29/2011
XD I like this fic! Now I can't wait to see Naruto kick-ass untill tomorrow! I'll love to see him protect everyone in a cool and scary way. And then the drama for being an assassin! Oh! I can't wait!
Thank you for the update!
| BundleofContradictions chapter 11 . 4/28/2011
Yes, the Potter & Weasley kids were awesome this chapter! I especially loved the rabbit conjuring, how clever! James is a natural leader.
It's been a while since I read the epilogue, and I rarely read HP fics these days, so can you please clear up who's who? For instance, I had forgotten that Lilly was younger than James and Al in this chapter, I wasn't sure if George Deer was an OC, let alone how old he is, I assume that Rose is the oldest kid (and Hermione & Ron's daughter?) But I'm not sure...
Also, what happened to Anne, the Japanese-British student? Was she knocked out or taken away?
The plan that James came up with seems pretty brilliant, although I think they should have muffled red-haired shinobi before discussing all the details *right in front of him*. He breaks out of those ropes, they're in trouble!
Back to Japan-confusing and harried, in a good way! I like that the Kitsune reveal was followed immediately by Hermione's protest, great way of using an established character quirk! Harry calling the Japanese MoM "bloody racist" was wonderful as well! Minami still has a lot of 'splainin' to do. She can't be left of the hook when she apparently had a huge role in the disastrous meeting between the wizards and the shinobi.
The confusing start of the chapter made the reintroduction of the shinobi characters seem like a nice surprise. The reader is in Harry's POV, focusing on Hermione, the Kitsune, the Japanese MoM, and all the problems at hand before Kakashi clears his throat. And, Shikamaru had a line! Yay!
This chapter had some grammar issues, nothing too bad. As a reader I'm just looking forward to the next chapter.
| Hanashi chapter 11 . 4/28/2011
Very intriguing! When will Naruto remember his past (and start kicking but)? How will they get to England? How did this plot begin? I can't to see how this is resolved. Also, I love that the 2nd gen is taking action. And I loved Kakashi's nonchalance. Kakashi, never change.
One note: I've noticed that your tenses tend to switch back and forth, but (I read it all in one sitting) that definitely improved over the course of the fic. It's a little jarring so I wanted to bring it up.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
| 6tailedninja chapter 11 . 4/28/2011
Nice story. It is very intriguing. It is rare to see an adult Harry crossover, especially such a well written one. I especially liked this last chapter with the children striking back better than the adults.
| Nocturnal Only chapter 11 . 4/28/2011
Wow. I am just in LOVE with this story! It's so... realistic. Well, as realistic as magic and ninja can be... It's very in character at any rate. The way you incorporated the next-generation-wizards is very nice, and you gave them such good personalities. Thank you SOO much for writing such a wonderful story, please update soon.
| Lena7213 chapter 11 . 4/28/2011
Man oh man! When is Naruto going to wake up? At least the kids no how to take care of themselves, sorta.
Thanks for your hard work!
| novembre seafarer chapter 11 . 4/28/2011
AMAZING story! The Potter-Weasley kids were awesome in that fight. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter!
| Monota Anthropina chapter 11 . 4/28/2011
That. Was. AWESOME!
Seriously. The way you had the Potter/Weasely Kids fight off the Ninjas was SOOOO funny! A Dancing Charm? Really? I would not ahve thought of that.
Anyway, onto the serious review now. While I really liked the section with the Orginal trio (Harry, Hermione, Ron), I honestly thoguht it could have been written a bit better. I understand that they were already becoming friends with Tsubaki, but Ron practically wanted to KILL Naruto when eh found out he had a Kitsune inside of him (granted, it was a an evil, demonic one, but still!), and his reactions just seemed a bit... un-Ron like.
Anyways, thats about the only problem I had with this chapter, so keep up the good work, and remember: Updates make the world go 'round.
| Rinnala chapter 2 . 4/28/2011
this is a sequel? I didn't know, but you should know that so far this story could be by itself
| Spectre.of.Apples chapter 11 . 4/28/2011
They DID kick ass. And I can't wait till the next chapter! :D
| Anzer'ke chapter 11 . 4/28/2011
I don't think it's narcisstic, you're the first person to write a story which I felt really kept to the power difference between them then have the wizards not just give up. The battle actually made a good bit of sense, with confusion, needing to keep them alive and inexperience of magic tipping the odds.
Excellent work. Truly excellent stuff.
Peace out and Rock on,
| IPreferLemonPie chapter 11 . 4/27/2011
OH MY GOSH IT WAS SO AWESOME! I LOVED IT! NEXT CHAPPIE ASAP! YOU ARE AN AMAZING AUTHOR! I loved the chap. I want Kakashi and the others get to Hogwarts! They are so going to kick *ss! asudihadsifh AWESOMENESS! NEXT CHAPPIE ASAP!
| DarkRavie chapter 11 . 4/27/2011
Another very good chapter. I look forward to reading what happens next in your fic.
| bakapervert chapter 11 . 4/27/2011
Thanks for the update.
| fayfan chapter 11 . 4/27/2011
AWESOME CHAPPIE! XD Yay! D You're getting rid of one of the OCs! XD Please do continue doing that throughput the fic! D And, PLEASE UPDATE SOON! X3