Reviews for Telos
monkey kix ass chapter 5 . 9/23/2010
oh, finally in japan. only a matter of days before harry and the gang meet up with the ninjas now. i wonder how nat is going to decide to do about his whole amnesia thing. can't wait to read what you have in store next. hope you update the next chapter really soon.
Axalion chapter 5 . 9/20/2010
Hey abstracted,

This story is awesome so far! All of the characters seem like their cannon selves (much to your credit).

However, there are two points i get confused over.

the new headmaster being deliberately "evil" or is he just misguided?

only other problem i had (which is more of a personal one) is that i get confused by all of the second generation HP characters. Maybe i just haven't read enough fics with them, but many of them seem similar and you always present them in bunches of 4 or more, and i get very condused at who is who.

Besides that i am loving this story! very creative, and i love Nat, #1 hyper active wizard lol. He does seem slightly juvenile so im wondering what his age is, i think you said it but im not sure. anyways this review is getting way too long so good luck with the writing, and keep up the good work!


Ps. I will definitely be looking out for the next installment!
BundleofContradictions chapter 5 . 9/20/2010
Okay, I love this story. The concept, the characters, the eventual bloody battle it seems to be leading up to...everything!

Specific points:

1. Your "next generation" Harry Potter characters are really cute! I especially like Al and his relationship with Scorp is adorable. Al himself seems like a bit of a genius. And, yes, everybody in the Wizarding World could use some therapy! ;)

2. Your original HP characters, including Harry, Ron, Hermione and Slughorn are all in character. (Hagrid seems a bit...harsher than I remember him. He's not an insulting, slave-driving type)

: I have no problems with the nickname, but he seems dimmer than usual. Maybe it's just the broken English (I appreciate the realistic representation of a language barrier, though), but he seems, off, somehow. My main annoyanve, though, is that he should *not* be using honorifics when he's trying to learn proper English! It detracts from the story. I wouldn't mind if you sprinkled in actual Japanese (even an occasional Dattebayo!) into his dialog, though.

5. If Madara's involved, things won't be pretty...

6. My main question now is *who* called the Wizarding World for help? I hope it was Konoha, or one of the other villages, but for all we know, it could be Madara or the Akatsuki!

7. I'm definately looking foward to the next chapter!

8. If you want to do another story, or a continuation of this one, or even a crackfic, involving the HP characters discovering a hidden continent in which people use Magic!Kung-Fu to manipulate the elements in a style known as "bending," I'm all ears! ;)

Thanks for the fic! :D
glassfragrance chapter 5 . 9/18/2010
Wonderful story line! This is so very interesting...I can't wait to read more (:

Oh Naruto! _ I wonder what that potion and that manipulative headmaster did to you...):
Kyunika chapter 5 . 9/17/2010
this story is so cool! you have to continue it, you just have to! when does naruto regain his memories? how did he lose them in the first place? is sasuke involved? is there going to be a battle scene? i'll be waiting for answers in you next chapters! Ja ne!
Belle Mort 13 chapter 5 . 9/16/2010
another absolutly wonderful chapter
pkp033 chapter 5 . 9/15/2010
I've just read the first five chapters and I'm truly impressed. This story has got me feening for more!

The link you have created to connect the two worlds is very strong and I'm truly impressed by depth of Japanese culture in the story. I'm eagerly waiting to read more of your story. Best of luck writing in the future.
ZahreSthr chapter 5 . 9/12/2010
I was a bit hesitant to read this at first, but having nothing been updated in my archive and a large pile of homework looming before me, I decided to give it a chance. I'm glad I did! This is an extremely fascinating story. I commend you on your plot development, it is something completely original. I have never seen anything remotely like this. The only thing I can say is that the story mostly focuses on the harry potter portions, but i'm hoping it balances out with the introduction of the "hidden continent". I'm excited for a new update and to see where this story leads to.

-Zahre (I suppose since i'm done reading I should work on my geological processes and mineralogy homework...)
Foxy Fennec chapter 5 . 9/12/2010
I'm loving it so far! I love how a shinto temple was a floo powder station! Actually, I love the blend of Japanese culture and HP magic!

Update more!
Namikazelil chapter 5 . 9/11/2010
Wow this is a really awesome story! It's a very unique crossover and I'm interested in seeing how you're going to continue it! I REALLLLYYY can't wait until they meet the shinobi, as well as which ninja they are going to be meeting, Tsunade? Kakashi? Some of the other Kages? anyway, please update soon I really wanna know!
fayfan chapter 5 . 9/11/2010
AWESOME CHAPPIE! I can't wait for your next one to come out! When do you think you will post the next chapter? I can't wait! :D
Dennisthepinkgoldfish chapter 5 . 9/11/2010
that was so cool! I was definatly not expect that! can't wait till the next update!
yarra chapter 5 . 9/10/2010
Too true... If only the Wizarding World take psychology more seriously...
redrobin chapter 5 . 9/10/2010
great chapter, so happy you updated. and the current headmaster of hogwarts is manipulative and should be beaten for guilting naruto in taking the potion. i'm surprised that kyuubi has not contact naruto in any way since he's imprisoned in naru's stomach. please have more naru in the next chapter and i hope that he won't be pressured into taking the potion. when will the shinobi make an appearance? anyway, update soon and i can't wait for more.

Leprechaungirl chapter 2 . 9/9/2010
Hugo and Rose are Hermione and Ron's kids

James, Albus, Lily are Ginny and Harry's Kids

small typo
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