Reviews for Telos
Laura-Jean95 chapter 16 . 5/4/2012
Stupid JILL! Stupid stupid stupid, now how is it going to work? either she will die or he shinobi will have to. ! I love your story I can't wait to read more!
BundleofContradictions chapter 16 . 5/3/2012
"See you next month!" Is that a promise? :P

This was a great chapter! There were a lot of spelling and grammatical errors, but who cares? The plot is rolling, all the main characters are awake and accounted for, and it's all exciting! Plus, Rolf & Luna got a cameo!

You really know how to up the tension in a story and leave the reader at the edge of her seat. I was completely absorbed in the meeting between the aurors and the shinobi, and very curious as to what Harry told Ginny to bring, when BOOM! Keep that suspense in check 'till the next chapter because we are switching gears and moving to the Hogwarts setting. And there are all these new characters at Hogwarts being teamed up to find the 5-point barrier (Did you make up most of the names yourself, or are they from the Pottermore website or another official source? How do you keep all the characters straight?) You also knew how to tease the reader about when Naruto would finally wake up. There was a lot of great detail throughout-I loved how you described the Room of Requirement, making it seem like the TARDIS!

I actually thought Theodosia's plan (great name, btw) was gutsy and clever. Naruto is not a priority over Hogwarts, and if she somehow knows how to do an Unbreakable Vow, she thought she could save everyone by trying that technique. Of course, she doesn't realize that shinobi are trained to gives their lives for a mission, even a Slytherine wouldn't think of such a horrible scenario (nothing against Slytherines, don't mind me) ;) So it's a really good thing that Naruto woke up, and figures that the first person he'd save would be the person who cared about him least. If he ever gets a chance to talk to her, one-on-one, who knows? She'd probably turn into a Gryffindor! (Again, nothing wrong with...oh, who am I kidding? JKR clearly set up Slytherine as a house that few would root for...) That's just what Naruto does with people who try to kill him!

Great chapter overall! I hope you have the time to respond to this review. Good luck on all your finals & may the next few chapters come easily to you!
bostafu chapter 16 . 5/2/2012
OMG he finally AWAKENS! MWUAHAHHAAHA! Now everything REALLy begins!
CassandraSnakeCharmer chapter 16 . 5/2/2012
amazing has to meet the other shinobi fast or i will scream
Tanpopo97 chapter 16 . 5/1/2012
fuck yes
Lily of the Shadow chapter 16 . 5/1/2012
This is getting intense. I can't wait to see what comes of all this!
Blinded in a bolthole chapter 16 . 5/1/2012
At first I didn't like this story, too many OC and too much AU, but at this point I pretty much like it because of interesting OCs and an AU that works just fine.

Goess didn't know Shinobi and Kunoichi would die for their missions if need be.

Great job this far.

And hope Tsubaki can be released from Madara's suggestion (I think a skilled healer like Sakura or Tsunade can do it given time, considering Tsunade's ability to heal victims of Itachi's Tsukuyomi).
Blinded in a bolthole chapter 10 . 5/1/2012
Actually Harry-san, if there is a battle of weirdos Sai would defeat Lee, Gai and Kakashi and take the the cake. He just LOOKS notmal.

Otherwise, great job this far.
furuba-suzume chapter 16 . 5/1/2012
Yaaaaay! Naruto finally woke up! XD And oh dear, that girl really didn't understand...Did that shinobi break the vow already? That means he's dead now, right? Oh, and since Theodosia is feeling a little guilty now, does that mean that SHE'S going to go back on her Vow? It'll be sad if that happens, but...oh well, that's how it is. :/

And ouch, finals...Good luck with that! Gambatte ne! XD
Esaria chapter 16 . 5/1/2012
Loved the chapter, but I must say I'm rather annoyed at where it ended D: Cliffhanger, really?

I'll just have to wait sadly for the next chapter to clear things up then I guess ;-;
IPreferLemonPie chapter 16 . 5/1/2012
You were right, it was jumpy and choppy.

BUT!

GREAT. AMAZING. WONDERFUL. I LOVED IT.

It was really really f*cking good! I loved it. I need to read what's gonna happen next because Naruto is awake and ASDFGHJKL I love Naruto. Hahahhaa and Sasuke.. but yeah, I love fight scenes! It was good :D

You are awesome and I forgive you for the late update but still... I WANT THE NEXT ONE ASAP.
Demon Flame chapter 16 . 4/30/2012
Omg I love it when you update. This story is so epic! I can't wait to see what happens next so please for all that is holy update soon
UsuiXMisakilover chapter 16 . 4/30/2012
Oh fu** I cannot BELIEVE I have to wait a month(or most lowly like 2 or 3) for a new chapter! It was just getting good! GAAAAAAAHHHHH! Sorry but I have a very low patience level for certain things and I hate waiting for new chapters the MOST!

I can't wait for kick-ass Naruto!

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!

UPDAAAAAAATTTTEEEEEEE!

XDDD
KamilahKaliope chapter 16 . 4/30/2012
Helll yeahhh O He's awake! One of ma dream comes true O Yay!

and I haven't angry and upset because of your late update lol

Worried and Nervous? yes. But No angry

So pleaseeeee Next chapter? *O*

I want to see Naruto in action!

He's sooo cool O *scream in the pillow*
DemonKittyAngel chapter 16 . 4/30/2012
lol I'm really glad to see him awake. I bet the reunion will be priceless. And amazing.
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