Reviews for Edited Part Of The Notebook
Kateinabox chapter 1 . 10/19/2011
Hey (: Out of all of the fanfics that I've read so farr, yours is probably the best. I know that you took it out of the Notebook, but I sat here in class almost in tears. Its really descriptive, and it paints everything. I love it (: Keeepp doing what you're doing, and good luckk!

-KateeC:
MissHepburnthe2nd chapter 1 . 7/9/2011
This is a beautiful rendition of the last heart-breaking moments of The Notebook.

There are quite a few refreshing metaphors that I think provide an excellent description of the some of the most intense moments where there is no dialogue.

For example the kiss: “Not a kiss of fairytales, but more of nightmares, like he was trying to explain everything he was feeling at that moment in one kiss.” This is such an honest wording of the emotion Noah must have felt at that moment. And what’s more, it really adds to the story and enhances the moment, instead of being only an empty collection of descriptive words and clichés.

The same applies to the simplicity of the ending: “…so all he did was open her door and hold out his hand.” It signifies that the moment was so big, extreme actions would have almost spoiled it. It was a big moment, but also a moment of peace and contentment.

The only metaphor I think can be adapted is the one describing Allie as a “puppy with its tail between its legs”. I can imagine what the thinking behind this is, but isn’t a puppy with its tails between its legs usually guilty of doing something bad? Allie didn’t really do anything wrong, she fell in love with Lon while she had no contact with Noah and didn’t even know about the letters. Therefore something like “a little bird with a broken wing” might be more applicable, i.e. she’s hurting and in need of love and care and acceptance, and she chooses to turn to Noah.

A good read, thank you.