|Reviews for Ryan Harlow|
| Guest chapter 4 . 7/10/2012
wish u wouldn't treat dean like he's stupid, he's character
is smart, street smart, where sam's is book smart.
| Bamz chapter 6 . 2/27/2012
This is a really good story , please update!
| WarwomanWay chapter 5 . 9/18/2011
I have a few issues with this story, first off Dean is too ooc. Can you try to channel his heartbreaker additude just a little bit? I like that he has found a girl to marry but some parts in this story you made him seem way too pervy then normal.
And second theres something about Ryan that rubs me the wrong way and idk wat, I mean asides from the fact that most the time shes a real bitch to Dean she has a few redemable qualties about her.
The storys not to bad and I hope you dont take this reveiw to hard it just seems way to simple then what it really should be.
But please dont let me stop you from updating bcause Id like to see if it gets any better!
| Wallatrance chapter 1 . 7/1/2010
You might want to change your Summary to Dean/OC for people trying to figure out who 'Ryan' is.
Other than that, you might need a beta, you're missing a lot of punctuation and grammatical errors when you're reading things over. Check your facts too, I'm not seeing any errors, but just make sure, use SuperWiki to your advantage! That's what it's there for!
I really like how your character talked with Jessica, not many authors do that, so props on orginality.
Attempt to explain the character's background slowly, instead of throwing information at the reader right away. You could write it in to the story easily if she decided to explain her past to Sam, and pushing information on people makes your story seem childish.
The only part I didn't really like was when Ryan punched Dean. I thought it was a bit extreme for her personality and the situation.
You have a great idea, a loveable character and a drive to write, so continue to do so. It's clear that you love the show and have watched it many times. I look forward to seeing how this story turns out!
PS. Decide how far you want your story to go, is it just going to be first season, or are you going straight through? Think about this because you could potentially run into some problems with season three and four.
| AprilC3604 chapter 5 . 6/8/2010
Awesome update :) I like how you are fitting ryan into the season and you are doing a great job. Can't wait for more
| Sams Witch chapter 4 . 5/25/2010
| Sams Witch chapter 3 . 5/22/2010
i love this story! update soon!
| AprilC3604 chapter 3 . 5/20/2010
So glad you updated so soon. I love this story. Can't wait for the next chapter!
| AprilC3604 chapter 2 . 5/20/2010
Lol Dean and hit flirting. I am ryan keeps him in line. Great chapter!
| AprilC3604 chapter 1 . 5/19/2010
I really like the start of this story and I really do hope you contiune it. It sound interesting. I can't wait to read more.