Reviews for Gilead
disco.pop chapter 1 . 9/25/2010
Are you writing outside of fanfiction? You must be; your prose transcends the Gilmore universe and enters its own throbbing vibrancy.

First off, I have to tell you that you didn't achieve the dreamlike feeling you were going for, instead you fell into what you do best-romantic bitter melancholy-which has an ethereal quality all to itself. In the end, your realism won out, but it works so much more in your the flavor of the piece, of the characters. Even the dream sequences played out in realistic tinged flashes. (I love imaginary Rory's for Jess. Out of, really, anyone in pop culture/literature I love to his mind hallucinate, crumble, and spread the most. It is sick.)

'He shakes his head. "I was always leaving," he tells her.'

You explore universal themes and truths within the piece with an unreliable narrator who might say to fuck it all at any point. Secondary characters come off less as hastily sketched side players, and more like they just happened to wander into your story, whole lives lived behind the words.

I love Hemingway, Kerouac. Your references to Neruda appease my soul. I feel like I've meet someone new, or that I've just kissed someone very, very old. His lips cold and wrinkled and they did not kiss me back.

It's so sensual, but not sexual. The adjectives you've chosen for certain lines create a feeling at my spine.

'He is savage and solitary, but he will not pretend. He is too alive.'

'The throb of the electric fan in the flat below him makes the floor vibrate against his feet. Sunlight filters in, dirty and diluted, clawing with weedy fingers through the smog and smoke of the city.'

You must tell me what you've done outside of fanfiction. You really must. The names could be changed in this piece and you've got yourself a fully fleshed out story.

I've lost myself in gardenias.
MyUsedRomance chapter 1 . 7/9/2010
oh, god, hold me.

this is so fucking perfect. and i needed the use of language.

i love marquez. so much. so this is just great. and ahh, fantastic. favorites.
MonisMelody chapter 1 . 7/9/2010
This... this is incredible! The writing, the setting, the characters: everything flows nicely together. I sincerely hope you get published one day.
HelloSunshine89 chapter 1 . 7/6/2010
It's so hard to review your work because I feel like I've already said everything there is to say in the past, because it's all just so much. Ah, is that lame? I'm at a loss for words because this is what we all strive for and never achieve. This could be about anyone. This could be printed in any short story lit mag. It's beautiful and painful and hopeful. It's a cold and broken hallelujah. I hope you know that. Your writing is just so you.

And the fact that you have taken Rory and Jess and absorbed them and created this, damn. I just love how it's all these little fragmented vignettes that don't necessarily build on each other but at the end, bring you crashing to this place of hope. Finally, after all these years of torment, you gave them hope. Really beautiful.

I could go on and on about your writing style but I won't cause then I'll be gushing a bit too much. Just know, you're the only writer on this site I'm kind of in love with.
Morning-Sunset chapter 1 . 6/17/2010
Sometimes it's difficult to describe why you love something so much. This is not one of those times; I won't bore you with the million-and-one reasons why this was so right and soo bitter-sweet and so sard and so achingly perfect but I will say I can definitly see influences of all that literature you love which happens to be literature I love in your writing.

I'm going to go grab the first Marquez or the first Kerouac or the first Neruda I see and I'm going to read it and remind myself just why I love touched-up realism.

Loved this- did I mention that? Thanks xx
bdevils76 chapter 1 . 5/30/2010
Really wonderful stuff. I’m a huge fan of yours, and think you have one of the most unique voices out there in fanfic land. Incidentally, Marquez might be my favorite writer. I can see his dreaminess in this story, but I still see some of the Kerouac influence I often see in your writing (or maybe it’s just something about Jess that makes me think of Jack). You do a good job of only providing the essential information necessary to piece together a plot, revealing things very slowly until the end. It’s so compatible with your character, as it would be like Jess to only reveal a bit at a time as well. It allows the reader to concentrate more on the words and phrases, and not the overall plot. (One of your skills is in the power of short sentences.) The funny thing, of course, is that in a life created to keep his distance, Jess is able to acknowledge to ‘dream Rory’ that he loves her, that she’s the most beautiful thing he’s seen. I loved the little snippets of his life we get even as we see that he never let go of her. And I have to tell you, never have I considered a story in which they rediscovery each other in their 60’s, but you make it work so beautifully, particularly in describing their aged selves. The ‘God, I miss you’ line made my stomach clench, in the best way. Wonderful ending and wonderfully executed throughout. Hope to see more from you soon.
Mebabs chapter 1 . 5/26/2010
Late I know, but I just found this. I've no idea how I could have missed it. Anyhow, wanted to tell you that this story was heartbreaking, awesome, and so...real. Your writing - don't know how to put it exactly - its captivating, it holds your attention, and stirs up a swirl of emotions, and the effect still lingers long after you're done reading the story. Brilliant work.
deborah misfit chapter 1 . 5/22/2010
you made me cry.

it was so beautiful and intense.
boredliteratireader chapter 1 . 5/22/2010
So happy to see another piece from you!

This was absolutely amazing. I love the way you've divided the story.

The last part where Rory comes to meet god. I was holding my breath! Fantastic.

I love the angst in your stories.

I don't visit these days..but came to read yours :) I really hope you come up with more! Can't wait.
MadToLive chapter 1 . 5/21/2010
First off, thank god you are writing on here again! Seriously I was going alarmingly crazy waiting for more of your stories. I must say that this was not what I was expecting. The writing was absolutely stunning and I definitely could see what you were going for, but I sort of missed the hardcore Jess-ness of your other pieces. This held perhaps a little too much Marquez in it, the thoughts were a bit too Florentino-like and the essence of the characters was sacrificed a little in the process. However, that is just a matter of preference and you must know that your writing is utterly amazing. Also, props for writing this like a week after I finished 'Cholera' - I was extra excited! Please write and post more!
TeenageDirtbag23 chapter 1 . 5/21/2010
this was with out a doubt the most beautiful thing i have ever read... it took my breath away. thank you so much. you did a fantastic job. the words flowed and the images were vibrant. i loved every second i spent reading this.
skinnylove chapter 1 . 5/20/2010
This is brilliant. Your writing is brilliant. I adore your portrayal of Rory and Jess. You hint at a deeper, more beautiful level to their story and to them as characters and bring them alive in a way that I have seen no other person do. Please, please keep writing because you are fantastic.
kylielink chapter 1 . 5/20/2010
good story
AllRose chapter 1 . 5/20/2010
I'm so glad you posted again! I really love your work! And this! Took my breath away! I just love your style, and the dreaminess of the whole piece! I was all prepared for a sad ending, psyching myself up, and it was happy! That makes me so ecstatic!

There's something about this story that is really reminiscent of The Old Man and The Sea. I think it must be the references to tiredness and old age, and exotic places, and Antonio and the fish, but I also think your style is a little influenced by Hemingway, perhaps? Anyway, that's a big compliment coming from me because the old man and the sea is my favorite story ever, it's sheer perfection in writing! Please keep posting again!

(Also the line about Fitzgerald and Kerouac made me laugh!)
Notthere chapter 1 . 5/20/2010
I love this, and undoubtedly it could stand alone as a short story with minimal reworking. You should try and get it published, if you haven't already. I'm serious.

Have I said before that I love your work? I can't remember. But if I haven't, I do. Always so evocative, such complete and haunting images and worlds you create. So much beauty and sadness and aching hope.

Utterly magnificent. Congratulations.
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