Reviews for Persona 4 FES: The New Generation
Alphakoka chapter 7 . 9/21/2010
Somehow, Zatch really reminds me of someone...

hahaha, guess that means I'll be waiting for updates.
P4anonman chapter 1 . 9/13/2010
I am liking where this story is heading. just remember to fix some grammar and the little OOC that show up here and there. But either way I'm liking this story and don't get too beat up when people say something is bad.
meshi-chan chapter 7 . 9/13/2010
Exellent! I wonder if Miwa will have her own execution, huh?

Update quick!
Deidara'sgirl19 chapter 7 . 9/13/2010
This is getting real exciting! I can't wait to read what happens next! :3
GoldMotel chapter 7 . 9/13/2010
Love this chapter. However, I do hope we see some cameos from characters from Persona 1 and 2, please. :)
Astrih Konnash chapter 7 . 9/13/2010
Dont worry about the fluff - it was very well placed and actually made the chapter better

As for the final scene - ahhhh just as I suspected about Zorn's rival's identity...

A mistery now is about Souji and the Investigation Team's whereabouts - I think very soon you'll answer this one (actually I have an idea about where they are, but will keep for myself for now)
Kisdota-The Freak Gamer chapter 7 . 9/13/2010
THEY'RE MESSING WITH ALIENS? THAT'S NEW, THOUGH I GUESS IT'S BETTER THAN THE SAME BAD GUYS FOR THE THIRD TIME. YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Varianto A chapter 1 . 9/8/2010
oh man this is one friggin' awesome! please hurry to update i want to read more of tis story!
1095-Libra Princess chapter 1 . 9/1/2010
It was really nicely written D from what I could read of it anyway I've gotta go to bed soon so I'll finish reading it as soon as I can. But I like the idea of Persona 4 being continued with an older version of Nanako.

Keep up the awesome work!
zephyran chapter 6 . 8/25/2010
It's good to see the SEES team again in all their eccentric glory, and Fuuka's definitely living up to the role of "Captain Obvious" that she fulfilled in the game.

I must admit, I'm having a bit of difficulty following the plot, with the constant jumps back and forth from "The Present" and "July 24th". I know the information is in the text, but I found myself having to stop following the plot and dialogue to remind myself when and where the current section was taking place.

It's not necessarily a bad thing to do setting jumps like that, but they should segue into each other more. One of my favorite ways to segue between two time periods is to have a character say something just before the jump, and then after the jump, the character will:

-finish the sentence (in a way you wouldn't have expected from the part said before the jump)

-repeat what they said before the jump

-say the exact opposite of what they said before the jump.

You're doing better on your punctuation. I noticed a few missing words here and there, but still much improved.
Deidara'sgirl19 chapter 6 . 8/25/2010
Wow I love this story! I would want this to be a video game if one came out! Make it the sequel to P3 and P4 haha. I can't wait to read more!
meshi-chan chapter 6 . 8/21/2010
Execution, huh? New training exercise! I bet Miwa's gonna be like Mitsuru...

Update! Love it!
Patcheresu chapter 6 . 8/19/2010
...I fail to see why that's Yuuta's fault. Junpei's maybe and Mitsuru's? Most definitely. But all three of them downed Yuuta. The photo book thing was definitely going too far and Mitsuru isn't that imposing on Junpei. Mitsuru would remind Junpei that he was making a fool of himself and about the inn but she never directly takes his anger out on him. The only thing that'd warrant that is if their drenched clothes went see-through. Then they have the right to get one hit in on them but not an execution. And only if they were being Yuuta and Junpei about it. Did you know that Junpei happens to be the most immature canon Magician character? Also, if your basing them of Yosuke and Chie please note that Yosuke wins as many arguments as she does because he uses his ninja fast wits more in debate. Plus, Yosuke's role was that of a Idea-Maker. So if Yuuta isn't brains, then he's in deep shit. Also, Chie is WEAK to Yosuke. Why was this? Yosuke can be taken down by a foe with good strength but he is also quick, has some good tact, and is generally tries to put up a good image because, in his own words, he's Junes Junior. So, in other words, Yosuke wins the most of their arguments because he's plain smarter than her. YUKARI is the one who usually picks on Junpei but when she's not around Mitsuru STILL doesn't take her job. She'd be bad about her clothes but not execution pissed. Long story short, OOC. Out Of Character.

As for the things I DO like in your story, I liked the role you assigned SEES and how you've done this plot. It doesn't have a lot of promise, but it's good enough for now. That was not necessary at all with Fuuka. That was really retarded of you. She could just say she scans them and is pairing them based on Arcana and general fighting style. She doesn't need to check their Shadow's energy patterns to figure out that Ken is a Justice and Nanako is a Justice. Plus they are an Arcana who work well together. Yukari would do better with MIWA going by personality but not by powers or Arcana. There Arcanas seem to have mutual relationship. Good work pairing them together like that though Fuuka was being an OOC show off.

Persona 1: Masao/Mark But he actually is a good guy like Yosuke and cares a lot more for his friends than Junpei did. The kid who's more of a jokester is the Optional Character in the SEBEC Main Route or the optional Extra Story (In this case, if you DO NOT permanently recruit anyone and choose not to investigate more into SEBEC, then you unlock the other story, The Snow Queen Quest), Hidehiko "Brown" Uesagi. He's snarky, he's comedic, and he has more isolation problems than Yosuke. In fact, only Junpei and him would joke in a serious situation and he has more of a grip on things than Junpei. Like in Snow Queen Quest if you deny Kei Nanjo from joining your team and take Elly with you, you'll be able to get Brown after you get to the cafeteria. One kid with a persona is pissed and gone homicidal by eating all the food rations so he can watch everyone else die of hunger. Why? Because your party member dropped him hard when he asked her out. And she thought she was doing the right thing because it was the truth. Did we mention he went homicidal? And Hidehiko stopped joking to say:

"...WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM!"

Hidehiko is actually pretty serious and always looking for a way out of things. That's goes to show you Junpei is the least likeable joker and even then he only joked so much in S.E.E.S. because he really hated how Minato, who was just an empty Christ, got to be the leader, got better personas than everyone else, got access to the Velvet Room. You can't hate him for it, Minato does have one up on all the rest. Plus Hidehiko, unlike Junpei, is a WILD CARD. Not only that, every party member is a partial Wild Card and can each weild differing Wild Card sets of weapons and sidearm guns. So Slash with Kei one turn, bust a shotgun cap in the zombie the next. But Ultimate Persona can only be used for that person of course. Also, there is no Fool. The main character is an Emperor. It was the first Persona. It didn't need to be vintage to trounce this Persona. It's like comparing ovens to pillows. You just can't get it right.
Kisdota-The Freak Gamer chapter 6 . 8/19/2010
NICE, YOU STILL MIGHT WANT TO RE CHECK THE PERSONALITIES OF EVERYONE THEY DON'T SEEM TO BE EXACTLY RIGHT. I KNOW THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BUT THEY'RE TOO FAR FROM WHAT THEY SEEM LIKE. NICE CHAPTER I GUESS, YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
seiryux chapter 6 . 8/19/2010
Great chapter with lots of throwbacks to P3 and a good and understandable explanation as to why Aegis seemed OOC compared to her in the games.
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